makelemonade1974 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Interesting turn of events. I'm dating a younger guy. I'm 36, he's 29. Last date we drank some wine and did some kissing. I figured sex isn't too far off but I ought to wait a while until some stronger feelings develop. Sex is important to me - I'm at my sexual peak, I want a lover and a good friend. So today we go hiking and he confesses that he's only ever had sex with one other girl and it was a very short-lived relationship (a few months). He seemed very anxious about it. I told him about my past sex life (yikes! god knows why I did that). We pretty much talked about sex the whole time. It was damned uncomfortable to say the least. Kissed goodbye a little but we were sweaty from hiking so nothing too hot. Now I'm super nervous. I feel like this is hanging over my head. What exactly does sexually inexperienced mean? Will he be a terrible lover? I don't mind teaching him a few things, within reason. Men prefer to take the lead, yes? Should I just suggest we do it and get the initial fear thing over with?
depplover_1980 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Do you not feel an intense sexual attraction to him? This is alien to me because if that fierce chemistry is there the sex happens naturally. I don't think you should plan it, but if a making out situation arises that is hot then proceed it further and take control. Do not put pressure on him to lead if he has limited experience, this will be something he gains in confidence as time goes on and he enjoys and relaxes with you.
denise_xo Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 I think you should just go with the flow. Sexually inexperienced doesn't 'mean' all that much. Just keep some flows of communication going, as in telling him what feels good and what you'd like him to do and that kind of thing. Why was it uncomfortable to talk to him about it today?
Author makelemonade1974 Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 I will definitely go with the flow - and I am attracted to him. Today was just weird. He's a psychologist and very chatty, and you know how hiking or running with somebody gets the conversation really flowing. It was like "getting to know each other" only super intense - almost too much sharing too soon. That's what made me uncomfortable. It's only our third date. And I feel like I have things to hide - my last relationship ended really badly and it was only four months ago. I would like some sex though and he's a really sweet guy. It's just these initial stages are so awkward. Neither one of us knows what the expectations are and we are both trying to communicate what we think they are without making the other person nervous. And it's weird not knowing when (or if) I'm going to see him again. But I guess if this doesn't work out there's plenty more out there.
depplover_1980 Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Get yourselves into a 69 type postion Lemonade. You'll soon know each other a little better then!
Author makelemonade1974 Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 Girl, I just hope he knows what a clitoris is.
depplover_1980 Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Sorry to be graphic but this is where you are going to have to wiggle it where it needs to go, or lay down and show him how you like to touch yourself. I think he'll be grateful considering his experience is limited!!
bac Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Girl, I just hope he knows what a clitoris is. If he does not know that, it is not a biggie. It should not be a problem for a woman, who is at her sexual peak and who knows what she wants, to show a guy the location of the clit.
Cee Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 I was in a similar situation with a guy who was 18 and I was 26. He only had sex once before. He was a wonderful guy and treated me well. And he was so sexy. I ended up passing because I didn't feel right about his lack of experience. I regret that decision. If I had to go back, I would have gone for it. Every time we are with a new lover, it is a "first" time. Had I been with him, I would have gone back to "basics" - long foreplay, lots of communication, and practice, practice, practice. In a way, if sexual inexperience is coupled with openness and passion, it could end up being the best sex you've ever had. Good luck and enjoy this wonderful man.
musemaj11 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I was in a similar situation with a guy who was 18 and I was 26.
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