Do some men have a pattern for not respecting women?

[Riversong]

Just looking back at the relationships of my exbf.

 

He walked out on his first wife when she was pregnant.

Had a child from an affair.

Years later married the woman he had the child with and left her for another woman. He told me he texted another woman while he was married but it didn't go anywhere.

Met me.

Cheated on me.

I found out when he was with me he had been flirting with intent with another woman he worked with. Not the woman he left me for.

 

It seems to me he has a pattern. Goodness knows why I let myself get involved but he was such a charmer, I suppose he told me everything I wanted to hear about this wonderful life we would have. After our second meeting he told me couldn't see me not being in his life. I wonder if his new gf (who he cheated on me with) will find herself being cheated on, she moved in after 4 months. Can someone like this ever change? Does it go back to childhood, His parents did not have a good marriage and divorced. When I look back there were many times when I felt he showed a lack of respect towards me.

 

Thoughts anyone?

[Macaw]

Sounds like you were the victim of a serial liar to me. You don't have to be ashamed though. Some of them spend so much time lying that they actually get very good at it.

 

At least you didn't go through a divorce or had a child with him. You're probably better off than his other victims, if that's any consolation.

[Woggle]

Yes but it goes both ways. You have to give respect to get respect.

[sally4sara]

Yes but it goes both ways. You have to give respect to get respect.

 

You also have to be respectable to get respect. Did the guy she described sound respectable? Do you believe if she gave him respect that he would suddenly be different?

[Woggle]

You also have to be respectable to get respect. Did the guy she described sound respectable? Do you believe if she gave him respect that he would suddenly be different?

 

This concept applies to both genders. Women should not get respect simply for being female either.

[freestyle]

Past behavior is often a good indicator of future behavior.

 

I'm not saying that people are incapable of growing and evolving---but they don't become better people until they truly own their behavior.

 

I would steer clear of anyone who doesn't show genuine remorse for the pain their actions have caused to others.

 

This applies to both genders.

[Pyro]

I like the fact OP that you titled the thread correctly. Yes "some" men do not respect women, just like "some" women do not respect men.

 

In regards to that guy he does not respect anyone but himself here. Sounds like a real piece of work. Like one person said at least you didn't have a kid with him. Live and learn is all you can do at this point. I can promise you that a majority of us aren't like him.

[carhill]

Can someone like this ever change? Does it go back to childhood, His parents did not have a good marriage and divorced. When I look back there were many times when I felt he showed a lack of respect towards me.

 

Thoughts anyone?

It sounds like this experience has enlightened you about some key aspects of compatibility.

 

I'll emphasize listening to a person's words, watching their actions and *accepting* those perceptions as that person's truth, and deciding if it matches up with your own.

 

It is *possible* for them to change, but that change comes from within themselves, and not as a part of or result of a relationship. Expecting someone to change as a parameter of the relationship is IMO unhealthy.

 

Superficially, people who communicate the apparent negatives you recited are piling up the warranty disclaimers, the 'I told you so's', if/when their behavior with you matches up with the disclaimer. It's one methodology to avoid taking responsibility. It's really good information.