9Lives Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 How long were you single before you met someone? How did you meet that person? how long you guys have been single and how do you feel about it? Im talking about a real relationship not a fling or a rebound. A relationship. I have been really single since Aug 2010 so its been about 5 months and Im starting to miss having a companion. I know that is not a long time cause I know people who have been single longer than that but how do you feel about being single for a long time? Do you want a companions? Im not unhappy but I miss having a man...I think! Please share your journey. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 20 or 21. We met when we were both travelling. After we broke up, it took about 3 years before I got together with my current partner. We met at work. So I consider 5 months to be nothing When I'm single I miss the companionship and intimacy, but I'm also quite happy on my own. I always have lots of projects going and a long list of things I want to do, and I have a good social base. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 20 or 21. We met when we were both travelling. After we broke up, it took about 3 years before I got together with my current partner. We met at work. So I consider 5 months to be nothing When I'm single I miss the companionship and intimacy, but I'm also quite happy on my own. I always have lots of projects going and a long list of things I want to do, and I have a good social base. hahahahaha!!! awww thank you Denise. I know I was kinda tripping. I just needed to make SURE I was. This right here is VERY encouraging. I too am not unhappy so I guess the missing of a companion is not bad. thanks Denise!!!! Happy Sunday Others are welcome to respond! Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I was single for over a year before meeting current bf. I had dated a few guys in that year, but nothing serious. I missed the companionship when I was single, but I also quite enjoyed being able to be boy-crazy: learning how to flirt, chatting up cute guys, going out on dates, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
elastica Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Between my currend and last LTR: 3 years. Link to post Share on other sites
paleblue Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 it seems to be a cycle for me. if i have a relationship with someone for a few years, then i will be single for a few years when it ends. i dont plan it that way. it just seems to happen like that. its weird. like when i am single, i go out dating, i put my energy into meeting new girls, nothing happens (as far as the right one coming along), it just happens when it happens. i seem to have no control over it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross PK Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I've been single for 35 years. And I feel like **** about it. Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 It's been 3 months since my last relationship, but I wonder if it should even be called a relationship. Anyway, I've dated here and there, but nothing serious. I'd like to find someone eventually...I've been pretty frustrated by my single status but only because I've sworn off sex outside a committed relationship. I keep putting myself in these questionable situations with past lovers, thinking I'd like to get physical, but so far I've kept on holding out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 So far, most people were single about 2 or 3 years before they met someone they could say they were in a real relationship with. Im not talking about a short fling or fb or whatever. Im talking substance and time. Okay I get it Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Long enough... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 Long enough... That is not a answer my friend. Come again! Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 That is not a answer my friend. Come again! First relationship at 25. Ended a year and a half ago...single since then... Link to post Share on other sites
Cee Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 After my disaster of a marriage, I waited 4+ years to even think about dating again. I've been dating for the past 2.5 years and no LTRs. Been single a good long time. Yes, I want a man. But being single can be pretty great so I'm not writhing in misery here. You know this already, 9 Lives, but 5 months is a drop in the bucket. I promise that you won't drop dead of loneliness, although you may want to Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 In a few months, it will be a year since LTR ex and I broke up. Had a fling since then that, rather rudely and abruptly, introduced me to the modern world of dating and all its insecurities and game-playing. I'm now getting into my element rebuilding my life and I'm at the stage where it's difficult to picture how I can share my life with someone else. I've become quite territorial about my space, time and energy. Perhaps this will pass but I think it's a good thing to focus on yourself and anyone who comes along is just a bonus. I rather like this quote from Hermitosis on MetaFilter, on a thread entitled Single Forever?: There is emptiness and loneliness in every life, no matter how many illusions we surround ourselves with in hopes of proving otherwise. Reach into the wide world and make a place in it; search for fulfillment of your heart and mind and let your lifestyle take care of itself. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 At the point I met my exW I had been single and celibate about two years. It's been about 18 months since we separated (now D is final) and I've been single during that time. I define single as not pursuing an intimate relationship nor having sex with a partner on a regular basis. YMMV I have met up with a few ladies who were in the midst of 'flings' or 'FWB' and honestly had no interest in dating them once that was determined. To me, if someone else's dickinsider, she ain't single. Link to post Share on other sites
Mavisse Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I started having serial, serious boyfriends when I was only 15 and by age 30, I was totally burned out on romance. So I took ten years off, and it was the happiest, most peaceful and productive time of my life. I got lots of education, set up a great career, bought my own home, travelled, made wonderful friends...And I was completely commited to staying single. Then last summer, I got together with someone from my past. He had a huge crush on me when I was in my early 20s, but I was always with someone else. My first boyfriend in ten years, and I fell so hard. All that work I had done to be independent seemed to unravel in a matter of weeks. We have been split for a few months now, and I'm still struggling to regain my balance. I don't know how I will proceed from here. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I was single for three years between marriages and I needed that time to rebuild myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Soxfaninfl Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I was single for 10 months(separated), and I hated it. I missed the companionship and having someone to talk to about my feelings. I'm coming off of a 10 year marriage. My divorce isn't final yet. Link to post Share on other sites
celestica. Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 never really had a fully committed relationship (my longest last for about 4 months & then an fwb with the same person), so ive really been single for 20 years (which is my age lol), but ive been single for almost three years... doesnt matter to me though, im fine where i am Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I was single 6 months before I started dating (1st date with) my current BF. It's been one of the longer periods lately in between LTRs. The longest I was ever single was after my HS sweetheart died. I didn't date or anything for the better part of a year. Once I started dating, it was pretty soon that I met my college BF. About 13 months of being single total, and that's the longest period since I was 15. The 6 months recently is the second longest. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 my ex and I ended things in May of 2009 and CE and I became official in March 2010. I count us as being together starting in October of 2009 because that is when we started really getting to know each other and once I became interested in her no other female existed to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 So it seems like 10 months to 3 years is the average... with a few extremes, like 10 years, but the 10 years seems like they were wanting to stay single. That is fine. It probably depends on the kind of relationship you left. If it was a LTR or marriage, then staying single for a longer period of time appears normal. This is all information I am trying to process as well, being in the midst of a divorce. I don't want a relationship right now but I would like to meet people. Perhaps make some friends that might progress to other things down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
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