Shaina2 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 (edited) I know that getting cheated on during your relationship/marriage is devastating but aren't there worst things a SO can do to you? a) What if you find out they were only using you for money and permanently ruined all your accounts? This would count as financial abuse and they're not being loyal/faithful to you. b) How about slowly discovering that they are abusers? c) Or even worst, they never love you and you were used so they can become citizen of another country? With the intention of arranging a bogus marriage? Isn't pretending to love someone a worst type of betrayal? C happened to me once but luckily I found this out on the 6th month of our relationship. I'm still not over this and feel as if I got cheated on. This is worst than a time an ex cheated on me. I can forgive cheating but not a man who used me all along. Edited January 30, 2011 by Shaina2
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 There are worse things, here's a couple of mine: I had a boyfriend for three years, who dumped me the week before chemo because he didn't want to deal with my cancer. I had a boyfriend who told me at 6 months pregnant that he had no intention of dealing with or seeking treatment for his alcoholism, bipolar, OCD/hoarding issues - even though it was a set in stone stipulation if he wanted to have a child with me. I'd have to say though - that being rid of these jackhats is better in the long run than being with them. Anyone who would do stuff like that is not worth the time or effort wasted on them.
lemonlegs Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 There are worse things, here's a couple of mine: I had a boyfriend for three years, who dumped me the week before chemo because he didn't want to deal with my cancer. I had a boyfriend who told me at 6 months pregnant that he had no intention of dealing with or seeking treatment for his alcoholism, bipolar, OCD/hoarding issues - even though it was a set in stone stipulation if he wanted to have a child with me. I'd have to say though - that being rid of these jackhats is better in the long run than being with them. Anyone who would do stuff like that is not worth the time or effort wasted on them. Wow, I'm terribly sorry you had to deal with not only one, BUT TWO situations like that. I agree, those things are pretty up to par with cheating for sure. As for the OP, I think lying about being in love goes hand-in-hand with cheating. As much as people say that they still love their SO while cheating on them, I find that extremely hard to believe. I think if you truly, deeply, genuinely love somebody, there's no way in hell you'd EVER want to hurt them emotionally by cheating.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 There are worse things, here's a couple of mine: I had a boyfriend for three years, who dumped me the week before chemo because he didn't want to deal with my cancer. I had a boyfriend who told me at 6 months pregnant that he had no intention of dealing with or seeking treatment for his alcoholism, bipolar, OCD/hoarding issues - even though it was a set in stone stipulation if he wanted to have a child with me. I'd have to say though - that being rid of these jackhats is better in the long run than being with them. Anyone who would do stuff like that is not worth the time or effort wasted on them. LB, I'm sorry you ever had to go through that. What those guys did was terrible!
jnj express Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Easiest way to answer that is what will stick with you---what will your subconscious dwell on Leaving very sick partner I will agree is very bad---but---murdering the heart---is way worse than money problems, or just leaving You will forget about leaving soon enuff--after meeting someone new---you will get over the money problems, once you straighten yourself out---but having another person being allowed to have sex with your spouse, or SO---THAT DOES NOT GO AWAY---EVER
moloko Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 there is always something worse than can be done to someone that what is happening, in this case cheating. I could have a woman stab my eye out with an icepick. But because this is worse, doesn't mean I'm going to discount cheating as still ONE of the worst things that someone can do to someone else. cutting someones feet off at the ankles is definitely worse, but I don't think there is a support forum for that.
TLCbear Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 I know that getting cheated on during your relationship/marriage is devastating but aren't there worst things a SO can do to you? Yes. The worst thing to me is the lying and deceit...it doesn't matter what it is. I remember telling my ex that once...that I think most people can get over the cheating, but it's the lies and deceit, that are far worse to get over.
Cee Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Someone pretending to love you to get a green card sounds worse than cheating to me. It means your entire courtship was a lie. The sex was a manipulation. I'd have a hard time bouncing back from that. I wish the best in your grieving process.
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