carhill Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 OG, clarify, is your mother terminally ill? I thought I read that somewhere. IMO, if so, it might be worthwhile to process her perspective in a different manner. I know my mom said some really mean things during her disease process but I knew she wasn't in her right mind. My exW couldn't get past that and it was a large part of our disconnect. Regardless, you have my sympathies; that's awful coming from a parent.
threebyfate Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Terminal illness is no excuse for a lifetime of emotional abuse. sb, it's true. Her mother is a bitch.
BOKI5 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Common knowledge... I too have body issues and I always complain about my weight to men. They are always like WTF because they think my body is fine as is. Most women tend to think their body is worse than it actually is, so yeah. I also think curvier bodies are much sexier than straight up and down.
anne1707 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 OG, clarify, is your mother terminally ill? I think it's her father whose ill
MarlyStar Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 and yes, boobs are awesome! if i had my own i would never leave the house! The thing about boobs sadly is that if they are your own, your own touch doesn't feeling one tenth as good as a guy's touch. It's like tickling yourself--sort of a waste of time. So you probably would leave the house.
Gypsy_Soul Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I think it's rude to call someone skinny, just as it is to call someone fat. I believe the proper word here is slender. Skinny to me, means skin and bones. Fat to me means huge and close to obese. I'm slender, but I have big boobs and a nice plump round butt with a flat stomach. So, if this is the case that men tend to like view women's bodies better than they really are, then I must be superb:D Then again, maybe that's why all men only want me for my body. So that's the down side. Just want to post this observation for all the women out there who struggle with weight. I have never been skinny. I was a borderline chubby kid and was fighting between average to chubby as an adult. My mum who is naturally skinny, has always been super critical of my body. I know that she means well but she constantly says things like "You would look so much better if you lost 20lbs" etc etc. Going to the beach with my mum is a nightmare as she points out all the flaws. I remember that she has put me on my first diet when I was only 8. Once I started to date, my weight was never an issue. It could be due to fact that men that liked skinny girls never went after me anyway. But I remember each time I took my clothes off in front of a man, I never saw anything other than admiration. Mostly they never looked past the big boobs I am pretty perceptive and would detect if it was otherwise. There also didn't seem to be decrease of interest level afterward. Before I had sex with my current bf, we were supposed to go to the beach as our 4th date. My mum called me at 3am that night to tell me to cancel the date as he will surely dump me once he sees me in a bikini. I didn't listen and my bf was nothing but extremely complimentary about my body (lucky for me he likes curvy girls). My dad is also supporting my mum in this. He once dumped a girl because he didn't like how big and flat her butt looked in pants she wore on their 5th date So yeah, I grew up with that c$ap. Sure - there are men who like and only date skinny girls. But in my experience it's about 50/50 split in preference for skinny vs curvy. Men just don't analyze your naked body flaws under the microscope
USMCHokie Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 All these "Boobs are awesome" comments are leaving me feeling a wee bit insecure. I have small boobs...like an A cup. Does that mean my body is not considered desirable in your worlds? Comments like that are what make women so insecure and self-critical. I like them smaller. A's are awesome. So don't be insecure.
Ometeotl Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 (edited) "Gorgeous Girl" Get over yourself lady. Edited January 30, 2011 by Ometeotl
Woggle Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I agree with these comments. Women are a whole lot more critical about their looks than most men are. Despite what people think men are not obsessed with physical perfection in our partners.
january2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I think it's rude to call someone skinny, just as it is to call someone fat. I believe the proper word here is slender. Skinny to me, means skin and bones. Fat to me means huge and close to obese. When I was very slim, I didn't attach any negative connotations to being called skinny nor did I react sensitively if anyone ever used it to refer to me. I've never considered it a derogatory term. Fat however, in certain contexts can be very hurtful. Having said all that, I do despair somewhat at the 'size zero' debate that has been raging for the last few years. I feel that it has given some people a stick with which to beat those who are 'naturally' slim, particularly those who are petite and in proportion. In my opinion, as long as one is happy with one's 'size' and is fit and healthy, then one shouldn't be berated for not conforming to current cultural norms in terms of 'size'.
paddington bear Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I think this is true. I've been much bigger than I am now, and while I don't think it helped with dating, I'm not sure if it was because it was an issue for me and I felt ugly, or if men saw me as fat and undesireable. Anyway, bigger than I am now, being as I am now hourglass, curvy, (but could still do with losing some pounds), I've not had one complaint from any man. No one has recoiled in horror ever. Mind you, one friend of mine slept with a guy who said "oh, you look much slimmer naked than you do in clothes"
threebyfate Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Ever notice that men who are the most critical about women's appearances tend to be the most physically flawed?
Imajerk17 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 (edited) Truth be told, I actually prefer curvier as opposed to slimmer, as long as it is something along the lines of the athletic curvy. I've gone out with a couple women who have described their body type as "a few extra pounds". From looking at them and reading their profile though, it was clear that they are strong and in decent shape and even played sports growing up. So I was physically attracted to their looks. I'm not really into the SI swimsuit model type, but I suppose anyone can look good with the right pose if they expose enough skin... It looks like I'm not alone in this. I like to approach women who look like this--the way I described in the top paragraph-- in "real life", but they all seem to have rings on their finger or a guy who is clearly their significant other. I don't really notice their boob size though. As long as "something" is there, that is cool with me. "A"'s are fine. Edited January 30, 2011 by Imajerk17
Gypsy_Soul Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 "Gorgeous Girl" Get over yourself lady. I definitely will not do what you feel I should:rolleyes: I think it sucks for people to look down on those who feel great about ourselves especially physically. Yet, when someone isn't feeling positively about their looks it's like oh, you should feel great about yourself. This is very hypocritical.
Gypsy_Soul Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 The term skinny can be very hurtful as well in certain contexts. There are many people who feel the same including myself. It should be taken into consideration that not everyone attaches positive connotations to being called skinny. I don't think anyone should comment on a person's size unless they've invited it openly. When I was very slim, I didn't attach any negative connotations to being called skinny nor did I react sensitively if anyone ever used it to refer to me. I've never considered it a derogatory term. Fat however, in certain contexts can be very hurtful. Having said all that, I do despair somewhat at the 'size zero' debate that has been raging for the last few years. I feel that it has given some people a stick with which to beat those who are 'naturally' slim, particularly those who are petite and in proportion. In my opinion, as long as one is happy with one's 'size' and is fit and healthy, then one shouldn't be berated for not conforming to current cultural norms in terms of 'size'.
Gypsy_Soul Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 That's right, men come in different sizes and shapes as well. Men's likes vary just as well. As long as you are healthy and try to stay fit, size doesn't matter. I think it's the healthy outlook you have of yourself that should really matter in dating. If the guy doesn't like you for who you are and how you are pass him up. If a guy wants to just use you for your body pass his pig ass up too. Anyway, everyone has different tastes and you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. The right men are attracted to confidence just as well. If you have that everything else will fall into place. Truth be told, I actually prefer curvier as opposed to slimmer, as long as it is something along the lines of the athletic curvy. I've gone out with a couple women who have described their body type as "a few extra pounds". From looking at them and reading their profile though, it was clear that they are strong and in decent shape and even played sports growing up. So I was physically attracted to their looks. I'm not really into the SI swimsuit model type, but I suppose anyone can look good with the right pose if they expose enough skin... It looks like I'm not alone in this. I like to approach women who look like this--the way I described in the top paragraph-- in "real life", but they all seem to have rings on their finger or a guy who is clearly their significant other. I don't really notice their boob size though. As long as "something" is there, that is cool with me. "A"'s are fine.
january2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 The term skinny can be very hurtful as well in certain contexts. There are many people who feel the same including myself. I've met many people who have the same worldview as me about being referred to as skinny, doesn't make it right, doesn't make it wrong, in my opinion. We just have different worldviews and we're sensitive to different terms. That's okay. Difference is good, in my book.
Questionis Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I think its not only your body people are attracted to, this has something to do with magazines presenting people in a one dimensional way without personality, just looks.
Ometeotl Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 (edited) I definitely will not do what you feel I should:rolleyes: I think it sucks for people to look down on those who feel great about ourselves especially physically. Yet, when someone isn't feeling positively about their looks it's like oh, you should feel great about yourself. This is very hypocritical. Fair enough, Feel positive about how you look Although the fact that you basically chimed in this thread with only your own very slanted "I am hot, so guys most think I am beyond hot/ woe is me, I am insecure about being called "skinny" and want to talk about me me me me" Is rather annoying. Also, your username, is confident at best, self indulged at least. Furthermore, would you really have chimed in at all on this topic if men where not expressing so much appreciation for womans bodies... which apparently yours is God's gift to men. Last but not least, you seem intelligent enough to get away with this which in and of itself is a rather glib way to hi jack attention/ a thread with copious amounts of posts whilst seemingly being so innocent and even minded. Glad we had this talk. Edit: This is rather assumptive, but I am going to put a 99% certainty on this, you use men 50 times more than they use you. Edited January 30, 2011 by Ometeotl
january2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 In my opinion, as long as one is happy with one's 'size' and is fit and healthy, then one shouldn't be berated for not conforming to current cultural norms in terms of 'size'. Reading this again, what I meant to say was that "one shouldn't be berated for not conforming to current cultural norms in terms of 'size', but, in my opinion, for one's own mental well being, it's important that one is happy with one's 'size' and is fit and healthy."
sb129 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 My dad is also supporting my mum in this. He once dumped a girl because he didn't like how big and flat her butt looked in pants she wore on their 5th date So yeah, I grew up with that c$ap. I think it's her father whose ill His behaviour still leaves a bit to be desired from the sound of things.
lino Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Just like they do with almost everything else, women most definitely overdramatize any little fault they can find with their body. Then ofcourse the blokes get blamed and shamed for it.
sb129 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Just like they do with almost everything else, women most definitely overdramatize any little fault they can find with their body. Then ofcourse the blokes get blamed and shamed for it. Nobody is blaming and shaming blokes on this thread, quite the contrary in fact. The title is "Men tend to see women's bodies as better than they really are" Where is the criticism in that?
lino Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 All these "Boobs are awesome" comments are leaving me feeling a wee bit insecure. I have small boobs...like an A cup. Does that mean my body is not considered desirable in your worlds? Comments like that are what make women so insecure and self-critical. Some guys said they like boobs and straight away someone says they feel insecure about it. This is exactly the crap I was talking about. I've seen it on here many times.
anne1707 Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Some guys said they like boobs and straight away someone says they feel insecure about it. This is exactly the crap I was talking about. I've seen it on here many times. And straight away a woman (me!) came in and said that no man had made any criticism about boob size
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