OceanGirl Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Just want to post this observation for all the women out there who struggle with weight. I have never been skinny. I was a borderline chubby kid and was fighting between average to chubby as an adult. My mum who is naturally skinny, has always been super critical of my body. I know that she means well but she constantly says things like "You would look so much better if you lost 20lbs" etc etc. Going to the beach with my mum is a nightmare as she points out all the flaws. I remember that she has put me on my first diet when I was only 8. Once I started to date, my weight was never an issue. It could be due to fact that men that liked skinny girls never went after me anyway. But I remember each time I took my clothes off in front of a man, I never saw anything other than admiration. Mostly they never looked past the big boobs I am pretty perceptive and would detect if it was otherwise. There also didn't seem to be decrease of interest level afterward. Before I had sex with my current bf, we were supposed to go to the beach as our 4th date. My mum called me at 3am that night to tell me to cancel the date as he will surely dump me once he sees me in a bikini. I didn't listen and my bf was nothing but extremely complimentary about my body (lucky for me he likes curvy girls). My dad is also supporting my mum in this. He once dumped a girl because he didn't like how big and flat her butt looked in pants she wore on their 5th date So yeah, I grew up with that c$ap. Sure - there are men who like and only date skinny girls. But in my experience it's about 50/50 split in preference for skinny vs curvy. Men just don't analyze your naked body flaws under the microscope
Els Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 (edited) OG, I wonder why you choose to open up so much emotionally to your mother despite the fact that she is evidently hurting your self esteem. Other than that, I completely agree with this. I really don't think most men, when confronted with a naked woman, take the time to analyse every single one of her flaws. As long as it looks generally '****able', I think most are happy. In fact, I would think that us women tend to see our bodies as worse than they really are. Edited January 30, 2011 by Elswyth
anne1707 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 In fact, I would think that us women tend to see our bodies as worse than they really are. Exactly Plus a man would rather be with a less than physically perfect woman who is happy and confident with her body than a stereotype ideal who is always worrying about how they look, wants the lights turned off before they get naked, etc.
hydorclops Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Men tend to see women's bodies as better than they really are No. Men like women's bodies. They really like women's bodies.
Kamille Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 From the pics I've seen here, you have a smoking hot body OG. I used to torture myself about the fact that no matter how much I dieted or exercised, I would never be a size 4 (US) and could only sustain a size 6 at the cost of a rigid diet and hours at the gym. Than one day, while in France surrounded by waifs, it hit me: I myself found women with my body type sexier than women with no meat on their bones. A French friend of mine was like me (except she owned it), and she was beating men off with a stick - and understandably so. There was something inherently sexual to her curves and to how strong, fertile and healthy she looked.
spackle Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 (edited) Just want to post this observation for all the women out there who struggle with weight. I have never been skinny. I was a borderline chubby kid and was fighting between average to chubby as an adult. My mum who is naturally skinny, has always been super critical of my body. I know that she means well but she constantly says things like "You would look so much better if you lost 20lbs" etc etc. Going to the beach with my mum is a nightmare as she points out all the flaws. I remember that she has put me on my first diet when I was only 8. Once I started to date, my weight was never an issue. It could be due to fact that men that liked skinny girls never went after me anyway. But I remember each time I took my clothes off in front of a man, I never saw anything other than admiration. Mostly they never looked past the big boobs I am pretty perceptive and would detect if it was otherwise. There also didn't seem to be decrease of interest level afterward. Before I had sex with my current bf, we were supposed to go to the beach as our 4th date. My mum called me at 3am that night to tell me to cancel the date as he will surely dump me once he sees me in a bikini. I didn't listen and my bf was nothing but extremely complimentary about my body (lucky for me he likes curvy girls). My dad is also supporting my mum in this. He once dumped a girl because he didn't like how big and flat her butt looked in pants she wore on their 5th date So yeah, I grew up with that c$ap. Sure - there are men who like and only date skinny girls. But in my experience it's about 50/50 split in preference for skinny vs curvy. Men just don't analyze your naked body flaws under the microscope well since you're not looking to date your mom or dad I shouldnt worry too much;) and if you're naked I presume it's pre-sex so they're more than likely a little distracted to be worrying over and minor lump or bump. Edited January 30, 2011 by spackle added text
refurb Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Quite true. I was dating a girl this past summer. Far from what you'd call an "ideal" body, but god dam she was hot. I've seen girls complain about stuff that I couldn't even see. RF
Ometeotl Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Men generally do enjoy a womans body and appreciate it more than she does. The way it looks, feels, tastes, albeit the constant high pitch sound that come from the upper portion can get annoying from time to time.
Kamille Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I thought this was common knowledge. Duh? Not if your mom put you on your first diet when you were 8 and indulges in hinting that you should hide your body from potential mates so as to not turn them off (). I imagine that when that's the case, the realization that men think women's bodies are the bomb curves and all comes as somewhat of a revelation. Like... "Wait a minute, could the Bible according to mom be wrong?" Notice, too, that the thread title still assumes mom was right and men are the ones who's appreciation of women's bodies is inaccurate.
USMCHokie Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Men generally do enjoy a womans body and appreciate it more than she does. This. Women don't seem to understand that a lot of men simply don't care if you aren't super skinny or jacked or whatever "ideal" you have in your mind, and some are even turned off by it. I feel that women feel that pressure because they are competing with other women. I was talking with my fellow GTL'er at the bar last night and he agreed with me that he didn't want a woman who was threatened or pressured into having a "perfect" body just because he has a good physique. In fact, most of the women he dated, and the ones he was the happiest with, didn't have that ideal physique. They were happy with what they had. So OG, I don't think it's a matter men necessarily see women's bodies as "better" than they really are...we appreciate whatever you've got...and if it's a body that turns us on, thent here's no purpose in nitpicking flaws...because we don't see them as "flaws"...
Imajerk17 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 (edited) Damn, OG, your parents sound like they have some serious issues. Peddling *destructive* criticism in the name of love, that is effed up. My honest reaction reading this thread. Edited January 30, 2011 by Imajerk17
dispatch3d Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Women tend to see their bodies as worse than they actually are. That's my take on this . ps. boobs are awesome!
USMCHokie Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Women tend to see their bodies as worse than they actually are. That's my take on this . ps. boobs are awesome! Truth. -----
paleblue Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 ive noticed the same thing - women knit pick to death things about themselves us guys don't really notice or care about. but i guess i can understand a womans point - its their body and they are more initmately acquainted with it than anyone else. so whatever they think is wrong is going to glare out at its owner like white on rice. i say us guys like women just the way they are so dont worry about it and yes, boobs are awesome! if i had my own i would never leave the house!
musemaj111 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Men have a tunnel vision. We see something as a whole, not in detail.
LittleJ Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 ive noticed the same thing - women knit pick to death things about themselves us guys don't really notice or care about. but i guess i can understand a womans point - its their body and they are more initmately acquainted with it than anyone else. so whatever they think is wrong is going to glare out at its owner like white on rice. i say us guys like women just the way they are so dont worry about it and yes, boobs are awesome! if i had my own i would never leave the house! All these "Boobs are awesome" comments are leaving me feeling a wee bit insecure. I have small boobs...like an A cup. Does that mean my body is not considered desirable in your worlds? Comments like that are what make women so insecure and self-critical.
anne1707 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 All these "Boobs are awesome" comments are leaving me feeling a wee bit insecure. I have small boobs...like an A cup. Does that mean my body is not considered desirable in your worlds? Comments like that are what make women so insecure and self-critical. Boobs do not have to be big to be awesome - and I don't think any man has said that here. Some will prefer big, some will prefer small, some don't mind one way or another
january2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 @ LittleJ I wouldn't really worry about it, to be honest. I was very slim, sometimes painfully so, when I was younger but then everything filled out nicely when I got older. Of course, everyone is different but there will be at least one guy who likes you just as you are.
paleblue Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 All these "Boobs are awesome" comments are leaving me feeling a wee bit insecure. I have small boobs...like an A cup. Does that mean my body is not considered desirable in your worlds? Comments like that are what make women so insecure and self-critical. Sorry LittleJ, didnt mean to make you feel like anything. Dont feel insecure. I am telling you right now, as a guy, i dont care if they are A cups. I like A cups just as much as i do any other cups. SEriously. you know that old saying? its not the size that matters.
Kamille Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Boobs do not have to be big to be awesome - and I don't think any man has said that here. Some will prefer big, some will prefer small, some don't mind one way or another Yes. I think the general sentiment the men in this thread are trying to convey is: Men love women's bodies. To cite USMCHokie we appreciate whatever you've got...and if it's a body that turns us on, thent here's no purpose in nitpicking flaws...because we don't see them as "flaws"...
carhill Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 IME, I always found my exW to be attractive, even though she was medically obese, until I fell out of love with her. After that, she could be a perfect 1000 and I could care less. YMMV.
AD1980 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 All these "Boobs are awesome" comments are leaving me feeling a wee bit insecure. I have small boobs...like an A cup. Does that mean my body is not considered desirable in your worlds? Comments like that are what make women so insecure and self-critical. Just like most women prefer tall men most men prefer big breasts but not all
threebyfate Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 OG, have you ever told your mother to STFU?
sb129 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I am more confident with my body now that I have had a baby, even though its far more flawed than it ever was. OG your mother is a b*tch for saying that to you. No wonder you get so insecure.
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