Kissbang Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 So here's my story... (sorry about the length! LOL) I'm 20 years old and recently started on a new job, there I met this guy (who's 6 years my senior) who at first seemed up-tight and all serious to me. He was polite (I may say too polite) and nice, he was my tutor at work. NEVER HAVE I IMAGINED THAT I'D BE IN THIS KIND OF SITUATION WITH THIS KIND OF GUY! Something like a month after he finished tutoring me, my boss made a comment about something I did wrong, and the guy voluntarily suggested to help. We sat together and then he asked if I have Facebook. I told him that yes and that I'll add him. I added him and he confirmed. At work he said something about one of my photo albums and he even sent me a private message on facebook. Meanwhile, both at work and on Facebook he started praising me NON-STOP and commenting things like "[my last name] You're a genius!" "you're the best" etc. On one fine evening he sent me a message on the Facebook chat and we started talking about work and then about some random stuff. From then on he started opening up to me, talking about his ex and it felt to me all friendly and nice. We started arguing about the diffrences between guys&girls and he said stuff like "let's make a bet" and "what do I get once I win?" and stuff like that. It felt to me like he was flirting, yet he kept pushing and then retreating :S After that we didn't talk at all, not even at work... and days went by and he had a birthday! so a few of us from work got together after work at evening and went drinking. It was so fun and I broke the ice by mentioning our Facebook conversation. After that, everything returned to normal and we continued talking on Facebook. A week later was the New Year's Eve and I complained at work about a friend ditching me on that night and that also a guy-friend of mine asked me out and I dunno what I should do. I started kidding with one of the bosses that maybe he could hook me up with a guy, and I noticed that he listened in on us. On Friday night, he sent me a message on chat and asked me what I'm doing and what about my guy friend & why I'm not going out with him, I said that I didn't wanna and that it didn't work out and I said that I'll probably just stay home and study..or else he has something to offer.. and he suggested that we do something. So we went out! We just went somewhere nice and talked for 3 HOURS!!! About work and then about our personal lives. When he brought me back home, he put his car on parking & put the handbrake on, I said I had a good time...he said so too and I was looking him om the eyes for something like 15 secs which lasted like forever! and then went out. A day later I text messaged him and asked if he'd like to do something again like last night coz that was fun. He left me hanging with a "maybe. dunno. have to wait for my parents to come back I'll let you know." and in the end we didn't go out again, but talked again...on Facebook. Whenever we were at work he didn't say a word about anything regarding out "date?" (I have no idea what that was!!) or facebook conversations except for once when this girl who works with us asked him what he did on New Year's Eve and he said that he hung out with me. A few days later I told him that he still owes me a drink and he said that I'm invited to his friends' apartment which he house-sitted and it was all left hung in the air. We didn't meet nor talked. On the end of the week we talked again on facebook and he said that it was my fault for not coming. I said that I usually don't force myself upon ppl and that he should've invited me. Well basically, all of our conversations since that one (and even that too) revolved around him saying compliments about me non-stop!! like "You and your blue eyes" he alwayssss talks about my eyes!!! or "You don't know how much it's attractive to a girl to be witty. So keep it up" and other flirts.... There was this one time, at work, that we worked the same shift and he was calling to a customer that had funny Arabic music instead of the conventional ring tone and he dedicated it to me saying "You'll probably wouldn't get it with your blue eyes..." and we laughed at eachother together... it was fun :-P One day after I came back home from an evening shift at work he sent me a message on Facebook chat and asked if I'd like watching The Big Brother Show with him and we set it to be at my place on Sat. He totally ditched and did'nt contact, when I sent him a text message he replied like a jerk... I was mad at him like hell!!!!!, and after 2 days of purposely ignoring him at work, (which was my last day before a long study-break and after which I won't be seeing him coz he got promoted and was supposed to start a course) I sent him a text-message to wish him luck. He didn't reply only til he finished work and, again, via Facebook. He apologized, saying he was having a crisis at his studies.... :S Whatever..!! ----- Soooo here begins the FUN!!! --------- A week ago I think I was the one who sent him a message on Facebook and we talked. I asked for his advice about a guy whom I think just wanna have sex with me and keeps sending me messages and he told me to "blow him off!". Later on (something around 11:30 pm) I told him that it's his fault for us not meeting up and he started talking about me not having courage to come over to him. (Dunno how things turned out like this..) I said that I do have, and if I'd want to I could be there in 20 mins. he asked how? since I don't usually drive (I've said so in a past conversation) and I said that I am right now and he said that it is late and what would my father say, I quote him: "Dad won't let you go out of the house, and to my place, at 1:30 am. You don't have the courage to give him explanations. It will seem odd to him that you're going out at these hours and then he'll ask 'where are you going to?' and you'll say 'oh just to X's house' and he'll ask 'who is X?' and you'll say 'just a good friend' and he'll say 'to his house?at this hour?' and you'll say 'yes, what is it? in ideal innocence' and he'll say "no approval' " I said that my parents are already asleep and I just think that he's the one without courage, coz I can be at his place right as we speak. He said that's he's already in bed wearing his pjs and I said to him not to worry coz I don't care. He said that his grandma will start asking question like "when are you 2 planning on having kids???" etc. (he lives with his parents). EVENTUALLY!!!! at 3 a.m. I went to his place. At first there was nothing much to talk about and I could actually sense the tension in the air.... Later we kinda broke the ice, we both lay on his bed, then under his blankets too and watched some TV. We talked (I talked a lot.. obviously. Like a stupid teenager that keeps smiling&blushing) and stared at eachother's eyes. For a lot of time and lots of times. I kept asking him "what?" as he looked at me and he kept saying "nothing..." and we smiled like crazy ppl. and I clearly saw, on some stage, that he had a hard-on... yup.......!! I'm positively sure about this! no mistakes! but I did'nt wanna embarrass him so I didn't mention it, of course. We started poking eachother and mess eachother's hair and basically we goofed around a lot: he teased me, pulled my bra straps and I started hitting him and vice versa. At some point whenever I teased him he put the blanket on my face, and when he did so/teased me, I did the same. He put us both under his blanket (head included) in the darkness and we kept quiet and just stared at eachother. He even put his head on my chest (like sleeping. What a big baby...) and I sucked on his finger :3 oh GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID IT! We were sooo close to kissing!!! but nothing happend! At around 5 a.m. he nearly fell asleep so I asked him if he'd like me to go so that he could sleep and I asked at first and he didn't reply. the 3rd time I asked he said something like a long "mnnnn" (it was obviously 'don't leave, stay!') and the 5th time I asked he said the same.. and got up looked at me. Eventually I went home, of course! I didn't plan on staying there. WE WERE SO CLOSE TO KISSING MANY TIMES BUT HE DID NOTHING!!!!! ARGGGHH!! I didn't dare to do that, of course later in my car I totally regreted that...!! I sent him a text message the next evening saying "good luck" (on starting his course at work [promotion duh]) and the replied dryly "thanks. good night..". The following day I text-messaged him again and obviously he didn't reply... After a day he said (on facebook) that he didn't see it until 2 hours ago and asked for what I'd meant. I said nothing... :3 We started talking and I could see that he's being totally wierd!!! and closed up and I asked why is he so wierd today and he just said that I'm imagining things. I asked if he'd like to meet again today just "have fun watching TV" and he said "yeah I'm sure it'll be fun..." and that he already made plans.... Didn't talk to him the next day, and got to a conclusion that maybe he does see me as a friend and that I should just forget all about him coz it isn't healthy!!! for me. After a day he sent me a message on Facebook and again, started chatting freely with me. We talked about the word sex :S and later he said that he was just "kind" to me, coz I'm a little girl (he started calling me like that since I was at his house and I wanna kill him), and that he can be pretty dangerous. I laughed and said that he can't possibly be dangerous. He started goofing and I said "whatever you say..." and he said "whatever I say? be careful, it could be dangerous..." again I laughed at this later on he said "the choice is yours, I was just being kind, and as such I already told you - don't allow me asking for what I want". I tried getting it out of him but failed... Then I told him that he'd better go to sleep, in his lame bed and he said "what lame? what? you were enjoying it like I dunno what!" :\ HOW RUDE! The following nightI went out with friends and I text messaged him and he replied.. a total lost case! coz he wasn't "getting on" with me and was a total bum =\ Yesterday we chatted again on Facebook, he asked what I meant with my last text message, I ignored the question... then we talked about some stuff and we opened up the reason why I'm a "little girl" at last! started digging on it, he later on said that "all with love, [my last name]" :S He keeps calling me by my last name, like a buddy or something, dunno... At least I got to say that I trust him! muhahaha~! And just when he started "getting crazy" - means opening up and being fun, he said that he gotta go and amuse his friends. I said "Don't forget that I'm also a friend & I deserve being amused too!" and then he said something and went. That's it. I'm confused. I thought about having a serious conversation with him but problem is.. I can't do that on Facebook, it has to be done face-to-face and he keeps avoiding me! I can't always be the one suggesting to meet up! and I'm afraid that he knows, so that's why he probably avoids me..... What should I do!? coz it's pretty much obvious that I got to like him too.. but he's playing games with me! Any suggestions? (And again, sorry for DIGGING!) Thanks!
Author Kissbang Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 I guess it's too much... but.. help? He's so hot & cold!
Nexus One Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 (edited) Perhaps he's holding back out of ethical reasons, like for example due to him being your tutor, in regards to the authority principle and all. I'm just guessing big time here, I have no idea really. If he really was there next to you in his bed with a hard-on and did not kiss you, then this guy has some pretty good control over himself in that regard. Perhaps he was hoping for you to make the first move so that he could be sure about what you wanted. Somewhat of a weird situation if I must say so. Nothing happened where one would expect something to happen. A girl that comes over to your house at 3AM, crawls into your bed and gives you a hard-on? I know what most guys would have done in that situation. Rrrrrr. Make sure you bring condoms next time, perhaps he was holding back for not wanting to get you pregnant or perhaps he has an STD, who knows. Edited January 30, 2011 by Nexus One
Author Kissbang Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 Well.. worse that that, I think that he's on to me! I'm trying just to act up as his friend... but he keeps saying those annoying little things.. makes me wanna kick him right in the *****. I think he just sees me as a friend... God. Am I stupid or what!?
Nexus One Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 (edited) Well.. worse that that, I think that he's on to me! I'm trying just to act up as his friend. Ooooh I don't know. I think the part where you came over to his house at 3AM and crawled into his bed might have given you away. However: I'm trying just to act up as his friend. I think he just sees me as a friend. Do you see what I did there? Edited January 30, 2011 by Nexus One
Author Kissbang Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 Yeah... got the picture.. We just had a long conversation about sex... I feel violated lol and I feel lewd. But it was nice, I mean, he's nice as a friend I mean. So I earned a friend from all that Guess I've learned my lesson: never compete with Asian chicks.
Nexus One Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Yeah... got the picture.. We just had a long conversation about sex... I feel violated lol and I feel lewd. But it was nice, I mean, he's nice as a friend I mean. So I earned a friend from all that Guess I've learned my lesson: never compete with Asian chicks. I'm not sure I understand. I thought you liked the guy beyond friendship, as you mentioned you wanted to kiss him.
Author Kissbang Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 Oh I did! totally! and I thought that he's into me too (seeing what I digged about on the original thread) but now I only understand that.. I can't keep making a fool outta myself. When we talked about sex just now, I realised that nothing's gonna happen with him, wether I like it or not. So it's better if I stop focusing on him and let some other guys a chance too. Sad, but the reasonable thing to do. I don't wanna open it up with him when I just feel that it ain't mutual.
Lucky_One Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 It is DEFINITELY not mutual. If a guy likes a girl, and she is desperate (yes, I said desperate) enough to drive to his house at 3 am and get in his bed in a house that he lives in with parents and grandmother, and he doesn't make a move, it's because he isn't into her (whether or not he gets an erection). You were clearly willing to do go as far as he would take it, and he didn't even come close to taking you up on your "offer". I would back off from him, and look for other guys to date.
mo mo Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I think the guy she is talking about is steven20. He is trying to keep his interest level at 55%, that is why he does not want to move too fast. If you guys ever do have sex, it will last 20 minutes tops, and he will pull out. Mark my words.
Nexus One Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I think the guy she is talking about is steven20. He is trying to keep his interest level at 55%, that is why he does not want to move too fast. If you guys ever do have sex, it will last 20 minutes tops, and he will pull out. Mark my words. LOL! (Sorry Steven, nothing personal.)
Author Kissbang Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 Well.. I think Lucky One is right and got a point. Even though we totally click. But I guess we're not into the same thing... I hope that we'll still remain friends, now that he knows I like porn.. Que sera, sera!
Lucky_One Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Sweetheart, I am almost old enough to be your mom. And the single biggest piece of advice I can give you is this. If you respect yourself, then others will respect you, too.
Author Kissbang Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 Sweetheart, I am almost old enough to be your mom. And the single biggest piece of advice I can give you is this. If you respect yourself, then others will respect you, too. I'll carve that in my brain for the future.. thanks!
SmileFace Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 I think the guy she is talking about is steven20. He is trying to keep his interest level at 55%, that is why he does not want to move too fast. If you guys ever do have sex, it will last 20 minutes tops, and he will pull out. Mark my words. :lmao::lmao::lmao:
Author Kissbang Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 Sorry for not understanding the joke.. but who is this Steven20 you're all talking about? and what did he do to make you laugh like that?
mo mo Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Sorry for not understanding the joke.. but who is this Steven20 you're all talking about? and what did he do to make you laugh like that? You're new here, so you wouldn't get it. I think he got banned or something, because I don't see any of his threads anymore. Steven20 is a poster that has been here for a while that has a very robotic approach to dating. He has all these rules for keeping interest levels at certain percentages. His basic philosophy is that the woman should have a higher interest level in the relationship because then the man will be the one in control. Many people played along, some people actually listened to him, I made fun of him whenever I had the chance. As if you can actually measure and control your interest in the person you are dating. I'm still not 100% sure if he was serious with his nonsense, but the fact that people kept arguing with him and he kept posting makes me think that he was a very productive troll.
mo mo Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 His "rules" basically boiled down to a scientific approach to manipulating women. Supposedly he learned everything from Doc Love.
Author Kissbang Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 lol!!!! got it.. Oh God, what a wierd guy.. trying to measure interest..
dispatch3d Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 (edited) You are many things, dumb isn't one of them. There is a ton of detail in that first post, which could probably really help someone help you. I'll have to go through and figure out why the **** you are acting like you are, but there are definitely some good push/pull dynamics going on. You definitely seem like a flake, I think he senses that is the case, and that's why "he is playing games". If he didn't play them, I think you would play them and then nothing would happen. edit: yeah you are 20. That makes sense, and your "type" is pretty much what I experience in the 20-22 age group. No offence . Edited January 31, 2011 by dispatch3d
Author Kissbang Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 You are many things, dumb isn't one of them. There is a ton of detail in that first post, which could probably really help someone help you. I'll have to go through and figure out why the **** you are acting like you are, but there are definitely some good push/pull dynamics going on. You definitely seem like a flake, I think he senses that is the case, and that's why "he is playing games". If he didn't play them, I think you would play them and then nothing would happen. edit: yeah you are 20. That makes sense, and your "type" is pretty much what I experience in the 20-22 age group. No offence . What do you mean "fake"? because I'm 20 years old, that means that I'm fake? If you're talking about the coversation me and him had about sex, then you're right of course it was fake... that was just me trying to protect myself from getting hurt by his rejection - guess what, I think that it's pretty much legitimate. I've been hurt before by guys, although I'm just 20, there were quite a few men that didn't like the way I looked/talked/acted. but on the other hand, I'm quite aware of a few (really shy guys) that were interested in me and did nothing.. only later I realised that they had a thing going on for me. But that was at the age of 16+- Of course 20 isn't that much of a difference, but I think that we're measured by the things that we go through life. I can tell you, I've been through some things. Not many, but some. Telling me that I'm a fake? I dunno, maybe... but who isn't? Just coz I'm cheerful most of the time doesn't make me immature, I think otherwise. The fact that I'm able to hide it so well from my surroundings shows true matureness. Anyway... (just wanted to make that clear, dunno if it affected something) about this guy I'm talking about, the reason you think he's playing games with me is coz I'm a little girl? What a blow for him, coz maybe I am. But one thing I know for clear: The one that'll end up with me will be 98.9% happy and satisfied, I know I have a lot to offer. And one shouldn't judge a book by its cover, or more to say, by its age. What do think?
dispatch3d Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 haha uhhhh. I didn't call you fake. I'll just refrain from teasing. A flake, with an l. It just sounds like you're one of those girls who says lets get together then flakes out on it. Just from numerous things you've said/way you wrote the post. It's hard to describe really. Maybe I just have a flakedar now (haha awesome, flakedar). The rest of your comments in the post weren't on anything I typed or said or thought. So well, hopefully he isn't thinking about those things either!
dispatch3d Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 hey, when you two made plans on Saturday and he ditched. This is kinda hard to ask (like not emotionally hard or something, but hard to convey), how were the plans made? He said lets do big brother on saturday at x time, what did you reply with? Like was it "absolutely I'd love to" or was it more like "Sure, I can probably make that. Can you just call me that day to confirm?"?
Author Kissbang Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 Ohhhhh sorryyyy:o I got it all wrong.. I didn't know what flake means (searched it up in urban dictionary and found out) coz English isn't my native.... sorry.. haha and about the Big Brother, it went like this: Having a conversation that he started, talking yada yada. Then out of the blue!! He: Come watch The Big Brother, on Saturday night It's a laugh Me: no saying... He: Come watch The Big Brother, on Saturday night It's a laugh. What "no saying?" I am saying Me: haha Me: Bum ------> [an internal joke which he started a few days before, he called me tits and I called him bum] Me: ummm.. yeah cool The Big Brother He: cool alright tits (If we're already speaking of that) Me: Rude bum! ha ha ha ok, wait.. what Big Brother You're serious? He: changing the subject and then saying: And yes, come on, it'll be fun Me: What "come"? He: to the Big Brother Me: to the Big Brother's house? lol He: yeah, you'll fit in there Me: yeah, right.... So what, watching the Big Brother... when and where? He: wherever you want Saturday night, 9 pm Me: alright, come watch at my place He: alright Me, him, me, him blah blah blah Me: Enjoy. Anyway... talk to me about saturday, let me know what you decide on and we'll see. He: There's still a long weekend, we'll talk, don't worry Me: not worrying He: alright t (as for tits), I'm gonna go... and a few more words then bye. Didn't hear from him all weekend, and the rest is history.. What I underlined, are my notes...
Author Kissbang Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 Btw.. I've been thinking about keeping some distance from him.. you know, not talking too much, no initiative at all from my side. If he won't contact me of his own accord - it's for the best. BTW, dispatch3d, what did you mean by asking about the big brother incident?
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