Inf4mous Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Well here is my story,I was married was with my husband for twelve years.It was a marriage that was full of more bad times then good times.My husband was very lazy and selfish.He thought more about his needs then the needs of his children and his wife.He often left the marriage and decide that I was no long good enough for him.He through all of this i remain by his side.But it had took its toll on my trust and love for him but because of the children I stayed during the last four years of our marriage we grew more and more distant He had introduced me to a new friend of his who lived in another state when seeing this man I was attracted to him but didn't think much of it at the time as time passed I started talking to Micheal more then my husband did we would talk everyday for hours I grew some what attached to him it slowly became something more then a friendship and i completely gave up on the thought of being with my husband this man was gentle kind and loving as time went by we grew closer until my husband found out about our relationship and became violent with me which is something he never had done before I kicked my husband out the house but due to one of our children becoming ill he came back for the sake of our child but we still wasn't together which Micheal couldn't understand and got upset and decided to walk away which hurt me but i understood why month had passed and my husband stood living with me and the children we slowly became a family again but i always wondered about Micheal and my feeling for him remained four months later Micheal got in contact with me again and i was so happy to hear from him that we picked up from where we left off as if it never happen we became even closer than before and i confront my husband and told him how i felt and that i no longer wanted to be with him my love for Micheal was intense i had never felt that way for an man my husband left and i continue my relationship with Micheal and he then came to my state and we decide we wanted to live with each other he was even more amazing in person seeing him i then understood what love at first sight felt like he was everything i ever wanted being with me i know it was hard on him because i am a well guard person i have been hurt a lot inn my life so it was hard for me to understand the love he was offering me the love i knew was always painful i have a health issue which i explain to him but didn't get to really tell him how it effect my life i kinda made it sound like it was something i took care of all ready he later found out it wasn't true and started to pull away from me again in fear of being hurt by his runaway from me i ended the relationship which end with me being pregnant and telling him i had abortion which i didn't i planned on raising my son on my own i didn't want to interfere or hurt his life in anyway he eventually found out i was pregnant my darling ex husband decide to tell him which bad our relationship worst in the end i gave birth to a stillborn son which hurt me more than i can say and Micheal was no where to be found he treated me very cold and harsh I love this man more then anything but i am living with a guilt that is tearing me in piece i want more then anything to work things out with him but he runs at any sign of trouble i don't know how to handle this situation please give me some advise
Mavisse Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 First, I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your baby. Second, forgive yourself for all that has happened. You can't change the past, and you certainly can't patch things up on your own. You need to take caring for yourself (counseling, bereavement support?) and your other children, your top priority. If Michael is the man you need him to be, he will find a way to let you know that he cares. Until then, please take care of yourself.
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