depplover_1980 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 So you like the person on the 1st/2nd dates, your chemistry is right and you continue seeing them and getting to know them. Either in your current partner, or in your ideal partner what is your favourite personality trait? Do you tend to look for this trait in everyone because it's important to you? Mine is strength of character, for the person to be full and certain of who they are with direction. You can be whoever, whatever with different personality types but if you come across as strong with it, for me all the other attributes are magnified. Kind of like confidence but this is verging onto a positive energy type feeling I get when I meet people of this way. I am attracted to this because I then know I don't have to look out for them and they will remain the same core person no matter what.
MissKnowitall Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I like guys who have lots of compassion and empathy. Not that they'd be sobbing more than me at every smooshed ant they may step on, but just some awareness of others feelings. Oh and friendliness. A guy who is friendly and kind to even strangers. Hawt.
Duckduckgoose Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Sense of humor, witty. Both are obvious when interacting with me and if someone can not appreciate my sense of humor and wit and demonstrate some of their own, something that I can appreciate then it's just not gonna happen. I was told yesterday during my CPR & AED class that I always have the answer... I told them that I might always have the answer but it's not always right. I'm pretty laid back for a chick and when I meet stuffy people it just really puts me out of my comfort zone. I will try several different approaches with a person, male or female, romantic interest or not, to try and make them smile or react in a favorable way (as in get them to relax and be silly). When they keep acting like they have a stick in their ass I just give up on them. No point, they are just making me uncomfortable and I am probably doing the same to them. I was actually trying this out on a guy working the front desk of the hotel my parents were staying at today. He was acting formal and whatnot at first, my dad started cutting up with him, I made a comment and my dad told me I was gonna have to walk back to my apartment. I looked at the guy and said he looked nice enough to give me a ride. From then everytime I would walk in the lobby (getting suitcases and luggage, cell phone chargers, etc) I would cut up with the guy. He loosened up a bit. It made me happy, as I was pretty much practicing my skills for weeding out guys I might want to date on him. Of course I found out he had a truck, as he said he would just give me the keys to it if I needed a ride. I was thinking hells yeah! I think one of the criteria for a man I date will be a truck or SUV mandatory... I am an outdoors type person and have not been able to ride my mountain bike since my stbxH left and totalled the truck (I has car). So I am climbing the wall... for some sex AND for some trail time!
Nexus One Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I think I'd have to go for kindness, but that goes for every person I meet.
Author depplover_1980 Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 Sense of humor, witty. Both are obvious when interacting with me and if someone can not appreciate my sense of humor and wit and demonstrate some of their own, something that I can appreciate then it's just not gonna happen. I was told yesterday during my CPR & AED class that I always have the answer... I told them that I might always have the answer but it's not always right. I'm pretty laid back for a chick and when I meet stuffy people it just really puts me out of my comfort zone. I will try several different approaches with a person, male or female, romantic interest or not, to try and make them smile or react in a favorable way (as in get them to relax and be silly). When they keep acting like they have a stick in their ass I just give up on them. No point, they are just making me uncomfortable and I am probably doing the same to them. I was actually trying this out on a guy working the front desk of the hotel my parents were staying at today. He was acting formal and whatnot at first, my dad started cutting up with him, I made a comment and my dad told me I was gonna have to walk back to my apartment. I looked at the guy and said he looked nice enough to give me a ride. From then everytime I would walk in the lobby (getting suitcases and luggage, cell phone chargers, etc) I would cut up with the guy. He loosened up a bit. It made me happy, as I was pretty much practicing my skills for weeding out guys I might want to date on him. Of course I found out he had a truck, as he said he would just give me the keys to it if I needed a ride. I was thinking hells yeah! I think one of the criteria for a man I date will be a truck or SUV mandatory... I am an outdoors type person and have not been able to ride my mountain bike since my stbxH left and totalled the truck (I has car). So I am climbing the wall... for some sex AND for some trail time! Well they are never short of circus clowns you know?
Author depplover_1980 Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 Clowns are scary Ah and you missed my humour. I love making people laugh too and will often say things you would never expect someone that looks like me to say, just to shock sometimes!
Duckduckgoose Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I might always have the answer but it's not always right. This ^^^^^^^ I guess we shouldn't date then lol Saying crazy things for shock value... like "Every woman looks the same from the waist down" in the middle of an unrelated dinner conversation.
OceanGirl Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Kindness and sensitivity with a backbone. In other words - while generally extremely kind and giving, he knows how to get tough if I am being inconsiderate (in a rational non-psycho way). Kindness and sensitivity with no backbone make me lose all respect
Star Gazer Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Gosh, picking just one trait is so hard. I was tempted to say a sense of humor, as it's my favorite quality, but at the end of the day, the most important quality to me is that he means what he says and says what he means, and that his actions always match his words. In short, he's not a hypocrite.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Attentiveness. Is she lucid and does she make it a priority to take and give cues back and forth? Or is she in her own world? If we go to the movies or a show, is she watching the show or is she half way to sleeping shortly after parking her rump in the seat? Stuff like that. After attentiveness comes connection like eye contact, willingess to take the hand instead of just the arm. Stuff like that. Is she contentious and picky about little stuff? Stuff like that.
Star Gazer Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 It boils down to trust. Trust with in the context of the relationship. Yes, absolutely. They mean what they say and say what they mean, and you can trust them - with anything.
Citizen Erased Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Honesty. White lies are not acceptable to me. If they don't feel comfortable telling me things, that indicates they're doing something they know I wouldn't like. Still doing whatever they're keeping from me, it indicates my feelings do not matter, only theirs do.
Pyro Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Honesty for me because you know what you are getting into with someone....whether that is a good or bad thing.
daphne Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Integrity also. It's rare, which is why I'm single. But when I sense a guy has it
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Passion. I am not talking about sex (though that is also splendid!). I am talking about an approach to whatever they do in life. I guess that would include sex! Close second is strength of character, as Depplover describes it. I value very highly a person who IS themselves, and who is true to that in their day to day life. "To thine own self be true."
dispatch3d Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Strong sense of morality is mine. Basically knows the difference between right and wrong, and doesn't justify things that clearly hurt other people. and I'm not referring to her etc. because this is actually my main basis for who I'm friends with.
mo mo Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 So you like the person on the 1st/2nd dates, your chemistry is right and you continue seeing them and getting to know them. Either in your current partner, or in your ideal partner what is your favourite personality trait? Do you tend to look for this trait in everyone because it's important to you? Mine is strength of character, for the person to be full and certain of who they are with direction. You can be whoever, whatever with different personality types but if you come across as strong with it, for me all the other attributes are magnified. Kind of like confidence but this is verging onto a positive energy type feeling I get when I meet people of this way. I am attracted to this because I then know I don't have to look out for them and they will remain the same core person no matter what. I cam here to post what you just said. Strength of character is what turns me on. I've dated funny women, intelligent women, creative women, sexy women, etc. The one thing that drives me nuts though is strength of character. Out of all the woman I have dated in the past, there's only one that I can think of that had that. Like you said, if someone's character is strong, everyone respects it, whether they agree with their opinions and perspectives or not.
zengirl Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Happiness is my number one. I'm not dating anyone who isn't truly happy, positive, and optimistic. The others that follow it closely are: kindness, intelligence, loyalty, and playfulness, but that spirit of optimism and happiness is the kicker. It's the #1.
Eeyore79 Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 It's difficult to single out just one personality trait, because there are a number of traits which would be deal breakers if they were absent. I suppose I primarily look for intelligence - not in terms of qualifications or career, but in terms of being interested in the world and wanting to know stuff. If a guy can tell me something interesting that I don't already know, I really respect him and become extremely interested in getting to know him better, in order to find out what else is lurking in his brain! Beyond that, I look for kindness and decency, and ultimately for compatible interests. I like to be out doing stuff, and I prefer a guy who likes to be doing that sort of stuff with me, as it sort of kills two birds with one stone - there isn't much time in my schedule for a proper relationship with a guy who doesn't share any of my hobbies.
StalledGirl Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Either in your current partner, or in your ideal partner what is your favourite personality trait? Do you tend to look for this trait in everyone because it's important to you? . I like a person who is honest , kind , warm , open and attentive. I hate playing games , waiting days until communicating and other silly rules and enjoy little reminders that i'm in someone's thoughts. Accepting and attentiveness are two traits I cant live without in a person , looks are low on my list compared to traits. Oh , I also like non squeamish people for prosaic reasons. Too many people forget what " In sickness and in health" actually means.
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