Ginger380 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Broke up w my BF a week ago today. I found out he was living two lives. He was w me, claimed to love me, want to be w me, have kids w me, etc.. Then I found out he was telling another woman the same things. He had been seeing her for months. She is 15 years younger than him and 8 years younger than me. He is a piece of **** *******. I keep obsessing about all the lies. Replaying conversations we had and pinpointing the lies. I told the other girls Mom. Of course the Mom told the OW. He lied to the OW. Told her I was crazy and he had broken up w me months ago. It was not true. She believes him and is still w him. I am so angry. I refuse to cry anymore. How do I make the intrusive thoughts stop. I really want to sleep. I'm seeing a therapist and taking an antidepressant. I hate that this happened. Truth is I felt like it was but did not look into it. I did a couple weeks ago. He thought I was out of town. I caught her leaving his apt. She never knew I was there. She also left a 10 year relationship for him. I hate him. I don't want to hate. I go from missing him then getting mad bc the man I miss never really existed. I almost feel like I've been abused. Tricked into having sex w him, planning a life w him, all the while he was using me. And to make it worse, sex is a big freaking deal for me. I've only been w 2 men. I need an emotional connection to do that. It took me Months to do that w him. Blah!!!! Son of a Bitch!!!
BB07 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I'm sorry for what you are going through although I can relate unfortunately. I was dating a man (LDR) for almost 2 years who had told me that he was separated from his wife for almost 9 months when we started dating......he was NOT. So he made me the OW without my consent or knowledge. I'm over 6 months out now and doing much better, so hang in there and cry, vent, and rage if you need to. Pull your friends and your family close and lean on them. What ever you do, don't take him back nor listen to the bs excuses. It's my opinion that something like this is unforgivable.
mickleb Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Anger is great! Loving that thread title. I read something about us missing them because, logically, we need to justify the pain they've caused us. They must have had some value if them going can cause that kind of hurt, or something. But it's just your brain trying to deal. It's a headf~ck. Don't worry. Your chemicals will settle and you will only hate him. Then, one day, you won't give a sh:t about him. Yay! Honest. x
spy-vs-spy Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 It's great that you say that you refuse to cry anymore. Use the same willpower that allowed you to do that to help with stopping the "intrusive thoughts." Though I know that is easier said than done. My coping method for the intrusive thoughts has been to lay in my bed, with the lights out, and just think these thoughts. I mean REALLY think them. I would think about my ex- with another man, I better man. For me anyways I would eventually tire out emotionally from this and usually sleep reasonably ok. And then the next day it tended to be a bit more numb. Anything you can do to ease your mind off the topic is good, whether it is cooking, cleaning, going to the gym, etc. Good luck!
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