daphne Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I got another one of those. It's a big, funny red flag that they admit this. I almost want to say "hey thanks for letting me know you're psycho." Cos like attracts like. An underaged guy starts im'ing me. He crosses boundaries and tries to get amateur dr. phil on me in a controlling, deeply weird way. Trying to over analyze my profile for hidden meaning. My im got stuck and I didn't bother to try to figure out who he was to apologize. He was just weird. He emails me the next day. I kinda felt sorry for him and didn't want to reject him so I'm friendly. He ultimately goes on some sort of sleeping pill and throws off this weird crap about how I'm sending him mixed signals (I had told him I'm not interested) and that perhaps that's why it's not working for me in the dating world. Lemme see how this works. If you only attract psychos, perhaps you should consider your approach. You know you're a psycho male if: 1) Try to make a girl you don't know feel sorry for you because only the bad ones are attracted to you 2) You start getting weird and psychological on someone, not respecting someone's boundaries when they say they aren't interested in talking about personal issues with strangers 3) Criticizing/manipulating someone to get them to seek your approval There's probably a lot more bullet points on it but I'm not going to find out with him. I really have to stop worrying about hurting someone's feelings.
depplover_1980 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I presume we mean dating sites? Do you not have a 'block' facility? Anyone I am not interested in I block straight away as I don't have time to reply to everyone and sometimes you get abusive follows ups so I just block to prevent communication. Poor you!
Author daphne Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 I presume we mean dating sites? Do you not have a 'block' facility? Anyone I am not interested in I block straight away as I don't have time to reply to everyone and sometimes you get abusive follows ups so I just block to prevent communication. Poor you! Yes. He's blocked now. I didn't have the heart to after the first conversation, as I thought he'd get the hint and realized he'd crossed boundaries. Sometimes, I'm a complete wuss. I should just walk the other way fast without giving them the benefit of teh doubt.
depplover_1980 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Ah I just think you've gotta be ruthless with the internet dating otherwise you spend too much time answering emails to people you have zero interest in dating. I would much rather write on the couple of forums I do in that time of typing! Plus you'll be clearing your inbox ASAP for potential studs with personalities.
Author daphne Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 Ah I just think you've gotta be ruthless with the internet dating otherwise you spend too much time answering emails to people you have zero interest in dating. I would much rather write on the couple of forums I do in that time of typing! Plus you'll be clearing your inbox ASAP for potential studs with personalities. Very true. I usually do but he caught me online and im'ed me. No more ms. nice guy.
depplover_1980 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Good. Turn that IM facility off!! Also you should start doing some dating profile updates with him and sex man!
Author daphne Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 Good. Turn that IM facility off!! Also you should start doing some dating profile updates with him and sex man! Do you mean "this is what I'm NOT looking for" on my profile? If I started writing that, I'd never finish. I've almost seen it all at this point. But fortunately no one gets pervy on me. Not even the pervert! His sex profile said he was actually looking for a relationship. Such a waste for a hot guy to be a pervert.
depplover_1980 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Yeah I mean I consider myself a pervert but one with boundaries and one on one. This guy just has no standards. Go on and mention it in your profile, as it will be funny and I promise lots of men will ask you about it and joke. Reason I know this is because I once recieved a horrendously abusive message from someone telling me I loved myself, he could tell I had no heart and looked down at men and I would never get anywhere in life, be childless and lonely forever. I posted it on my profile to shame him and guys used to bring it up and it would be a good starting point.
Imajerk17 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Well daphne, this is my take: You probably get emailed (and IM'ed) by perfectly nice guys who write you a perfectly nice email, and you DON'T respond to these. You get emailed (and IM'ed) by someone who clearly showed signs of being weird, creepy, ect, and you DO respond to him. Am I the only one, or does that not make sense to you too?
depplover_1980 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 http://i.imgur.com/pwssm.jpg What a movie!! When he throws that chainsaw down the stairwell laughing like a maniac!
makelemonade1974 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 This is the red flag for narcissistic personality disorder. Men like this literally make women crazy by brainwashing and gaslighting them. Then they dump them cruelly and unexpectedly, often for other women, and never look back. I had a close friend go through this. If anyone ever tells you all their exes are psycho, run as fast as you can.
Author daphne Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 Yeah I mean I consider myself a pervert but one with boundaries and one on one. This guy just has no standards. Go on and mention it in your profile, as it will be funny and I promise lots of men will ask you about it and joke. Reason I know this is because I once recieved a horrendously abusive message from someone telling me I loved myself, he could tell I had no heart and looked down at men and I would never get anywhere in life, be childless and lonely forever. I posted it on my profile to shame him and guys used to bring it up and it would be a good starting point. Wow. That guy sounds worse than mine. It's interesting how sick some of these guys can be. If that's you in your avvy, I seriously doubt you'll be alone forever...
Author daphne Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 Well daphne, this is my take: You probably get emailed (and IM'ed) by perfectly nice guys who write you a perfectly nice email, and you DON'T respond to these. You get emailed (and IM'ed) by someone who clearly showed signs of being weird, creepy, ect, and you DO respond to him. Am I the only one, or does that not make sense to you too? Honestly I'ma, you have lost all credibility with me. You do not have a good read on anything. The nice guys get the DATES. The weirdos get made fun of on this site and blocked or ignored. I think you have a terrible read and a negative attitude about women.
Author daphne Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 This is the red flag for narcissistic personality disorder. Men like this literally make women crazy by brainwashing and gaslighting them. Then they dump them cruelly and unexpectedly, often for other women, and never look back. I had a close friend go through this. If anyone ever tells you all their exes are psycho, run as fast as you can. Yep. There's another tell tale sign of a narcissist. They try to make you feel sorry for them, tell you their ex cheated (when they were teh cheater), and generally try to pull at your heart strings to get you to disarm them.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Yep. There's another tell tale sign of a narcissist. They try to make you feel sorry for them, tell you their ex cheated (when they were teh cheater), and generally try to pull at your heart strings to get you to disarm them. Hmm sounds like someone I know... I'm not familiar with NPD but even those undiagnosed have NPD traits. The thing is, they're practically more noticeable online because what they say tends to spill over into psychotic mode faster.
Imajerk17 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 (edited) Honestly I'ma, you have lost all credibility with me. You do not have a good read on anything. The nice guys get the DATES. The weirdos get made fun of on this site and blocked or ignored. I think you have a terrible read and a negative attitude about women. No. Anyway, I stick by what I wrote. Reread your original post. You still WROTE THE GUY BACK, after he demonstrated himself to be a creep. Edited January 30, 2011 by Imajerk17
Nexus One Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 No. Anyway, I stick by what I wrote. Reread your original post. You still WROTE THE GUY BACK, after he demonstrated himself to be a creep. Men can only be creeps if they're not hot enough. Ugly guy: Oh hi there! What's your name? (CREEEEEEEP!) Hot guy: Oh hi there! What's your name? (Oh my gaaawd, he's so HOT!)
Lovelybird Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 (edited) Men are creeps if they are so obssessed with their ego and chasing while totally ignoring how the woman feels about him. That is the most indecent thing. The same with the female stalker, the only thing they can see is themselves Edited January 30, 2011 by Lovelybird
sagetalk Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Men can only be creeps if they're not hot enough. Ugly guy: Oh hi there! What's your name? (CREEEEEEEP!) Hot guy: Oh hi there! What's your name? (Oh my gaaawd, he's so HOT!) You are a pretty good observer. Being called a creep by a girl has little at all to do with who the man actually is as a person. A creep is a guy that is attracted to her, makes aggressive advances, but she isn't attracted to him. Never let a girl calling you a creep get you down, it just means you need to move on. If only the majority of women actually did run from real creeps, what a glorious day that would be! Real creeps know how to trick women into believing they are what the girl has always wanted. Most guys that get unfairly labeled as creeps are just clueless, and are hitting on girls that aren't attracted to them.
Lovelybird Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Be prepared with a pepper spray, that is what I am going to do. I think there is a fine line between being aggressive and making a woman feel fear and uncomfortable.
sagetalk Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 There's probably a lot more bullet points on it but I'm not going to find out with him. I really have to stop worrying about hurting someone's feelings. Don't message him at all is my advice. Don't even think or talk about him. If he is a weirdo, the last thing in the world you want to do is talk with him or send him messages.
Mad Max Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Honestly I'ma, you have lost all credibility with me. You do not have a good read on anything. The nice guys get the DATES. The weirdos get made fun of on this site and blocked or ignored. I think you have a terrible read and a negative attitude about women. No, he's spot on. And accusing male posters of having a negative attitude about women is getting old. Sounds to me like you have done exactly what Imajerk said and it hit a nerve.
Author daphne Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 Being called a creep by a girl has little at all to do with who the man actually is as a person. A creep is a guy that is attracted to her, makes aggressive advances, but she isn't attracted to him. I gotta disagree on this. There are good looking creeps around as well. The perfect on paper guy that wrote me had a few sex profiles up for the public to see. That was pretty damn creepy.
Author daphne Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 Don't message him at all is my advice. Don't even think or talk about him. If he is a weirdo, the last thing in the world you want to do is talk with him or send him messages. I don't. He's been blocked.
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