A55MS90 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Okay so here is the deal sorry if a lot of this doesn't make any sense but I was just typing with whatever popped into my head .... I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 years now and things are just okay now. We met when we both were juniors in high school. Things are still going on good terms but lately i have been doubting my relationship with him. I mean we talk about getting married and having kids, you know stuff couples talk about. I can see myself being with him but then again i am not sure if i really want to be with him. We never cheated on each other or broken up and gotten back together. We have our arguments like any other relationship, but we both get over things pretty fast. He really is an awesome person though. He loves you for who you are, and he isn't a jerk or anything. See we both come from two very different families and sometimes that's where our arguments come from. His family come from a religious background, which I have no problem with at all, his parents always supported him financial wise and stuff. My family on the other hand is very hardworking. I got a job since I was 14 yo and been working ever since. I've pay for most of my stuff besides food and rent. We are very outgoing people, where as his family or should I say parents are very old school. But sometimes i can't stand his parents especially his mother. They are both very nice caring people. But i just don't know if i really would want them as my parent in laws. I get along with all of his sibling as so does he with mine. This is one of the things that is affecting my doubting cause if you marry him then you marry his family as well. If you have met us you would probably think i'm crazy for doubting my relationship because we really are good with each other. Sometimes I just want to go out have fun and let fricken loose and see what it is like to date other guys. A part of me doesn't want to break up but then a part of me does. I'm not sure if this is normal to think or its time to just move on. If anyone has any advise or anything that would be great.
Kamila Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I wouldn't say that if you marry your guy you'll marry his family. Of course his family will hold an important role in your man's world, but a wife and kids will always come first i think. I'm not married, but i think you belong to the house and family you'll live in. And that means the family you and your husband will share. As for the wanting to date other men... well have you talked about this with your boyfriend? You've been together for 4 years and maybe you're getting bored with your relationship or you're not ready to settle down with your boyfriend? And when you see other men you think the grass is greener on the other side? It's better you talk about if with your boyfriend. Like why you're feeling unsatisfied or unhappy or whatever that makes you think you could have a better boyfriend. Maybe you need to work on your relationship. You'll have to be honest with your boyfriend if you want to date other people. And before you do that, you'll have to breakup with him. Which could be quite hurtful. Well, if i see at my own experience: i have been together with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and i wanted to settle down, but he didn't. He lied to me by pretending he wanted to settle down. He did that because he didn't want to 'lose me'. Instead, he wanted to feel free and had fear of commitment. So the result was a lot of tears and cries for a perfectly healthy relationship gone bad. He rolled the dice and that was it. Even now after 6 months he texts me but i'm not replying anymore. You can't promise a future to a person that loves you and then change your mind so rapidly. It's sick and disrespectful to the other person's feelings. I feel cheated even though he hadn't cheated on me with someone else. If you don't want to be with someone, just tell it to them. Breaking up and leaving someone means you set them free, but the risk exists that you'll regret your decision of setting them free. Before you do all that, try communicating with your boyfriend first and find ways to work it out. Good luck.
Google1000 Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 (edited) DO NOT BE ONE OF THOSE GIRLS! And by that I mean do not just jump out of the relationship because you're getting bored and are curious to see what it's like to be with other guys. That is a huge sign of IMMATURITY. If you have a good relationship with him, that should be more than enough to keep you happy. Ask yourself this question: Are you happy with him right now? If the answer is yes, STAY WITH HIM. If the answer is no, talk to him or do something to try to "spice" up the relationship. Add some fun into the equation. Suggest some fun and out of the ordinary date nights. A breakup of a 4.5 year relationship should be the LAST RESORT! I promise you that the pain of a breakup will be extremely intense and that if you are still in love with the guy, breaking up with him is the WRONG thing to do. If you are not still in love with him, give 100% of your effort to talk to him and strengthen your relationship again. A few months down the road if you are still bored and possibly unhappy with him, then a breakup should be taken into consideration. Do not just jump out of the relationship because you have gotten a little bit bored. That is extremely immature. If he is as good to you as you say he is and you and him are as good together as you say you are, then he does not deserve to just be abandoned like that. Think about it like this: If you break up with him, you are going to be in INTENSE pain for several months. After that, yeah you may have fun for several more months or even a few years being single and dating other guys, but when the time comes to settle down and start a family with a husband, you may have given up the best thing that ever happened to you. Then you may spend YEARS regretting the decision to break up with him. If you love the guy, are happy with him, and can see yourself living a happy life with him, then I'd say that it's probably very foolish to break up with him just because you want to "let loose." Edited January 31, 2011 by Google1000
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