TheThinker Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Well in my case I am not fishing for contact since she occasionally contacts me... suggested last week that we have dinner one of these days and wrote "call me... I am around and would really love to see you"- Thing is I don't want to go flooding in as soon as she opens the gates.... want her to make a proper effort if we are to meet up or anything. Birthday wish would just be out of courtesy I guess and to remind her that I do think about her.... Sounds good mate - seems to me you are doing the right thing ... Keep it up - keep us in the loop and keep posting because it seems like its helping !!
Author andrew23 Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 Sounds good mate - seems to me you are doing the right thing ... Keep it up - keep us in the loop and keep posting because it seems like its helping !! Yeah thanks.. not getting my hopes up in any way.. girls like to reach out and stay "friends" and keep feeding crumbs, when this happens one has to play it pretty cool. Thing is I would do anything to get her back, just cant let her know.. Some pics of me at a party with some cute girls on facebook might have triggered something.. who knows
Author andrew23 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 ok tomorrow is the day.. think i'm leaning towards contacting her. Not much to loose at this point. Question is how a formulate it. Simple "Happy b-day" is best right?
PegNosePete Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 *Smacks head against wall* Seriously dude........
TheThinker Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 ok tomorrow is the day.. think i'm leaning towards contacting her. Not much to loose at this point. Question is how a formulate it. Simple "Happy b-day" is best right? If thats what you have decided then it is your decision. Dont lean towards one and sway though. Make sure you are happy with that decision because if not you will live to regret it. For my opinion, if you are thinking about sending that message and you are set that you want/need/have to do it then something simple and to the point with no emotion attached would withouth doubt be the best course. Its amazing how trivial even the littlest things become but stay strong for yourself
Author andrew23 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 *Smacks head against wall* Seriously dude........ Hi Pete, I hear your point of view from other threads and I know your a staunch NC beleiver, but sometimes I think one needs to be a bit flexible on it. What do you think I will effectively be achieving by ignoring her birthday? Won't it make me look bitter and give her the sense that I am suffering. I want her ultimately to be happy and be part of my life in whatever shape.. I am not bitter at her leaving me - just very sad that it happened. I want her to remember me in a good light, so that one day when she looks back and realizes her mistake she will think of me only positively. I am not doing this to win her back or to spark communication.
PegNosePete Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Hi Pete, I hear your point of view from other threads and I know your a staunch NC beleiver, but sometimes I think one needs to be a bit flexible on it. Actually I do believe in the other thread I recommended twice that you break NC! But, in the right way. Not by being a doormat. I am not doing this to win her back or to spark communication. Yes you are.
TheThinker Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 i have said it a few times on here - People can give you all the advice in the world, friends, people on this forum, family but when it comes to it is you that has to ultimately make the decision in what you need/feel/have to do ... Just be assured in yourself that you are making that decision for a real reason and that you can live with the decision without regret
Author andrew23 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 Yes I think one needs to do what instinctively feels right.. I agree with NC and making yourself elusive etc, but i get the feeling that many people on these forums are hurt, angry, bitter, and resentful, towards their ex. And that one can push it to an extreme...
spackle Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Yes I think one needs to do what instinctively feels right.. I agree with NC and making yourself elusive etc, but i get the feeling that many people on these forums are hurt, angry, bitter, and resentful, towards their ex. And that one can push it to an extreme... No, NC is not about being elusive, it's about preventing further pain. Continued contact is like splinter that you can't remove. All we're saying is you can't predict how she will interpret your message. Be very aware of that. Be aware and honest with yourself (that bit can be hard) about why you want to. It sounds to me like you're going to do it anyway, who knows maybe it'll spark a reunion, maybe you won't get a reply and feel resentful because she couldn't be bothered.
Trovador Posted February 21, 2011 Posted February 21, 2011 There are some others threads like this one, wonder why after so much fuss about sending or not a bday message the original posters don't bother themselves to post how it went... My guess: it was a useless gesture, like any other we do when breaking NC... I've been guilty of that so I better shut up myself... ha ha
nana841121 Posted April 9, 2011 Posted April 9, 2011 send your bless to her , because you don't want to regret for not showing your affection to the one you love If no feedback from her, move on . and you can also get a mroe clear answer and get determined to NC
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