Author Brokenlady Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 I went through a period much like the one you are seeming to explain now. I learned what kind of man I was attracting and took a good look at myself. I made some changes. And while I don't mean to give you false hope, I wasn't single for long after that introspection. But I wouldn't have minded it if I ended up single. The lessons learned about myself were more than worth it. I have a lot of regret. And since we all know one is supposed to look at past behavior as indicative of future behavior I worry how a new man would look at me if he knew my past. I have a ways to go to forgive myself, feel better about who I am and develop better boundaries. Just this morning, my son had a meltdown because he was tired and upset about the fact that he's disappointed we will not be moving in with xDM. He ended up missing school and I missed work. I feel like I let everyone down.
whichwayisup Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 I have a lot of regret. And since we all know one is supposed to look at past behavior as indicative of future behavior I worry how a new man would look at me if he knew my past. I have a ways to go to forgive myself, feel better about who I am and develop better boundaries. Just this morning, my son had a meltdown because he was tired and upset about the fact that he's disappointed we will not be moving in with xDM. He ended up missing school and I missed work. I feel like I let everyone down. Just keep talking to him and let him know that you love him and things are going to be okay. Sorry that he is upset, nothing like seeing a kid upset, it hurts the heart.
Author Brokenlady Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 Just keep talking to him and let him know that you love him and things are going to be okay. Sorry that he is upset, nothing like seeing a kid upset, it hurts the heart. He seemed ok later in the day, but his teacher has been remarking lately that he seems extra sad. I am trying to come to grips with all the damage I've done to my kids and myself with this toxic relationship I had with xDM. I think that now we're being faced with the things that should have been dealth with after I divorced - and would have been dealt with if I hadn't been so wrapped up in convincing xDM I was "worthy". My xH and I are taking him to counseling and hopefully I can get us all back on track.
Fieldsofgold Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I think you have good insight and awareness. And you're being a very good mom.
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