paperbag111 Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 Well it's been about 7 months since she broke up with me and proper NC for about 1.5 months now and I felt great. About a week ago I attended my best female friend's engagement party, unfortunately she was the one who introduced my to my ex, so it meant my ex was there too. Didn't consciously do the maths. Anyway, on the night, I spoke to my ex for the first time since going NC to be social especially because I didn't want to make things awkward for my best friend. The way my smiled at me brought me back to the happy days, bad idea. One thing led to the next and we ended up sleeping with each other. I guess after all these months of heart breakage I let my guard down for one night and did something I deeply regret, especially when she broke my heart and had a few 'encounters' with randoms. I guess with the memories flooding back, that tiny little spark of love I'll always have for her reignited and I wasn't thinking clearly or straight. I don't know how I feel about it. I feel as if I have taken many steps back and now. Guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was. What would you guys and gals think I should do to begin healing again. I'm really confused. I thought I was over her but now I feel as though I'm that guy still coming to terms of the break up. It seems very simple having only recently gone through it but I'm struggling.
Leandro Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 I guess stick to NC. It happen, nothing you can do about it. Just try to forget about it.
SimonSerenade Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 I've been there, Any kind of contact will bring you straight back to where you started, Every time I've spoken to my ex since the relationship ended I've felt crappy for a couple of days after cause it will take some time to get over her and when I'm feeling good it's cause I'm numbing the pain, For you it might take a while longer cause you had sex with her, Don't feel bad though, I'd of done the exact same thing in your situation unfortunately though my ex isn't the kind to sleep around with anybody, When we where together she mostly just slept >.>, All you can do now is steer clear and get back to how you was, If she loves you then she'll make the effort to come back and make her love known, In the mean time there is absolutely nothing you can do.
whichwayisup Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 You slipped..Into her..(sorry, bad joke) and now it's time to go back into NC mode. Don't over analyze why you two ended up in bed together. IT happened, no big deal! Don't put any meaning behind it because she is still the person who randomly slept with a few others while she was with you (Oh I hope you used protection) and she hurt her, betrayed you. Focus on healing, and letting go. DOn't beat up on yourself for slipping, just try your best not to let it happen again.
Jonno_S Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 (edited) Well, I'll take the obvious guy position and say at least you got laid! But seriously, it's no big deal (shouldn't be). Sometimes these things can lead to closure. I remember in high school I had such a crush on this girl who pissed all over me, so to speak. She didn't agree that she was doing anything wrong so I bailed - which was all the right thing, esp. when I saw her like 15 years later - anyway, about a month after I did that I saw her in school - she transferred to my school to be with me, among other reasons. Sure enough, there she was on day one, looking completely attractive. I was going nuts. I said hello, big smile, talked to her, she was totally sweet. I played it cool and asked her if I could walk her to class. At the door I asked for a hug. I squeezed her hard and she hugged back and in that hug I left it all there. I remember running down the hall feeling 1,000 lbs lighter. Done. Wow, thanks for that walk down memory lane! Edited January 29, 2011 by Jonno_S
Author paperbag111 Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 (edited) I guess stick to NC. It happen, nothing you can do about it. Just try to forget about it. I'm trying. Feel as though I'm going through the break up again but I'm trying. I've been there, Any kind of contact will bring you straight back to where you started, Every time I've spoken to my ex since the relationship ended I've felt crappy for a couple of days after cause it will take some time to get over her and when I'm feeling good it's cause I'm numbing the pain, For you it might take a while longer cause you had sex with her, Don't feel bad though, I'd of done the exact same thing in your situation unfortunately though my ex isn't the kind to sleep around with anybody, When we where together she mostly just slept >.>, All you can do now is steer clear and get back to how you was, If she loves you then she'll make the effort to come back and make her love known, In the mean time there is absolutely nothing you can do. It's a ****ty feeling hey? Thing is she isn't that type either. Don't know why but she went crazy and did a lot of stupid things that she regrets, her words. You slipped..Into her..(sorry, bad joke) and now it's time to go back into NC mode. Don't over analyze why you two ended up in bed together. IT happened, no big deal! Don't put any meaning behind it because she is still the person who randomly slept with a few others while she was with you (Oh I hope you used protection) and she hurt her, betrayed you. Focus on healing, and letting go. DOn't beat up on yourself for slipping, just try your best not to let it happen again. Don't worry about the joke, actually made me laugh. Gotta try and forget and brighten up things. She didn't sleep with people when she was with me, a few days after the break up. Thing is for the past 7 months or so, she has said she misses me, still loves me and wishes she could turn back time but because she can't, she hope that some time in the future we will meet again. Every single time she says that she either bawls her eyes out or tears up. Sounds like she's stringing me along though hey? As harsh as it sounds it made me feel good that she is in a way suffering regretting things. Oh yeah, I definitely used protection. Definitely will NOT be slipping up again. Back to NC! Well, I'll take the obvious guy position and say at least you got laid! Guess I should grow some bigger testes and think that way. Mind you she was my first in everything. My mind says I don't need her but it's my heart that needs convincing. Damn that sounds soft. Edited January 30, 2011 by paperbag111
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