bluemuse Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 Kinda long, so thanks in advance for reading. So I've been living and working in China (I mention this because of cultural differences maybe, but I'm in a big city so the people here are more westernized) for a few months now and got into a relationship with a local girl. She treated me really well, went out of her way to give me rides, buy me small gifts from time to time, set up appointments and accompany me to the hospital, then take time out from her studies to keep me company with some private matters. I would always take her out for dinner and a movie or other activities. I went back home for the holidays and asked her if she wanted anything in particular from the US, she gave a hard no. We kept in touch while I was at home, I would give her a call every few days and we would text almost daily. I don't want to come back empty handed, so I get her a few small gifts, some tempurpedic comfort slippers, and some fancy body products. I also got her a small Coach bag. When I go back, she picks me up from the airport and takes me back to my apartment. We hug and she mentions how much she missed me. I give her the slippers and creams as a late Christmas gift, saving the bag for another day. She mentions that I didn't need to get her anything, but I say its just something small, don't worry about it. I also showed her some new gadgets that I came back with such as a new phone and a new itouch. Her mood seems to change and mentions that she should probably get going. I felt something was wrong and the next day, she starts ignoring my calls and texts and when she finally picks up, she says she can't talk. I give her a call the following day asking if we're spending new years together, she finally replies that she felt useless and was angry with herself, but agreed to meet. When we finally meet up, she starts wailing on me that she treats me so well, but I only think of her as a pair of slippers and why she should would even want to be with me. She mentions that she doesn't want my things, but most guys wouldn't have shown off the gadgets without offering them. Then goes about how I have no business sense and how I even manage to survive out here. I mentioned that I thought she didn't even want anything, but I did get her something better, but at that point it seemed she already made up her mind and said we wouldn't see each other again and she left. The next morning I get a text from her asking if she overreacted and if I was awake yet. Obviously, I was still angry and I just replied with a , "yeah I'm up". I get no response from her for hours, so I later just wish her a happy new year and she replies with a thanks. I start seeing things from her view a few days later, maybe the slippers did come off as cheap and sent her an apology. She replied a day later saying we're too different, you aren't the type I want. She finished her license exam that she had been preparing months for a week later, so i decided to visit her mom's store at the mall and asked her to give her the bag along with a card mentioning that I didn't want her to remember me that I only thought of her as some slippers since I got the bag for her as well when I was at home. It didn't seem like her mom noticed anything was wrong and said she'll give her the gift. That was a few weeks ago and I haven't heard back from her at all, maybe I shouldn't have expected to and in hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have given her the bag, but I didn't think it was a big deal. I'm actually moving to a another city so we knew we had to do long distance as well, plus we had some other more private issues, so those could have factored into the breakup as well, but the kicker was the gift. It might sound like gold-digging, but I think its just the culture here that guys are suppose to spoil their girlfriends. Surprisingly, I still miss her, maybe its because I don't know too many people here and I didn't like the way the relationship ended so badly. But I'm wondering, why would she text me like she cared, then ignore me and shoot me down after i apologize? Would it have been better to come back empty handed since she said she didn't want anything?
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