selena_cat Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 hello everyone havent posted in a while but this question has been bugging me. I recently broke NC,yes curiousity killed the cat. Thought i'd say hi and see how he's ddoing and was ignored. I dont know if anyone have been through this,but we all heard about NC,the benefits and all. What happens when you break it,after months,does it tell the dumper whose already has ice water in his (or her) veins that youre weak. If you learned your lesson never to contact again,did that means you screwed up big time and you have no self respect? I'm thr type of person that loves to reach out to people,even my former exes, or friends who was much more cordial then this guy. some insights,experiences and opinions much appreciated. Thankya'll
0hpenelope Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 hello everyone havent posted in a while but this question has been bugging me. I recently broke NC,yes curiousity killed the cat. Thought i'd say hi and see how he's ddoing and was ignored. I dont know if anyone have been through this,but we all heard about NC,the benefits and all. What happens when you break it,after months,does it tell the dumper whose already has ice water in his (or her) veins that youre weak. If you learned your lesson never to contact again,did that means you screwed up big time and you have no self respect? I'm thr type of person that loves to reach out to people,even my former exes, or friends who was much more cordial then this guy. some insights,experiences and opinions much appreciated. Thankya'll Hm... I'm not sure if there's a one size fits all answer to this, but from personal experience, I've had many friends whose exes break NC and they end up laughing at the attempt. Those ones parted from their exes poorly. Other times, they just bring up the subject that they received a message from the ex and we agree that it's a little strange, given that a lot of time has passed. I never break contact because I just imagine my ex bringing it up to his friends and become the butt of the jokes. Becoming the ex that said "I don't want to talk to you unless you want to get back together!" and actually not stick to it is really embarrassing - and that's only in my imagination.
NeNinja Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 I broke no contact yesterday and I got what I deserved. Drama. I look at it on a case-to-case basis. My ex and I never 'agreed' to go no contact. No one initiated no contact. It was just a we're broken up, we don't really need to talk deal. If yesterday's contact would have been limited to just the phone call I wouldn't have thought poorly of her for making it.
collegeguy_24 Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 I think its a person by person, case by case basis. I brok No contact last month, she sent a reply email saying she was glad I contacted her because she misses talking with me. Didn't hear from her in a month after I replied to her email. Second time, I sent her another email, she said she started asking questions about my life and such, I answered and asked her life is going, haven't heard from her in two weeks. Its a case by case basis, in my experience I contact her, she says she is excited and wants to talk with me again, then all goes silent from her end. My friends have had different experiences, some are on good tersm with their exes, others are not.
Author selena_cat Posted January 29, 2011 Author Posted January 29, 2011 Hm... I'm not sure if there's a one size fits all answer to this, but from personal experience, I've had many friends whose exes break NC and they end up laughing at the attempt. Those ones parted from their exes poorly. Other times, they just bring up the subject that they received a message from the ex and we agree that it's a little strange, given that a lot of time has passed. I never break contact because I just imagine my ex bringing it up to his friends and become the butt of the jokes. Becoming the ex that said "I don't want to talk to you unless you want to get back together!" and actually not stick to it is really embarrassing - and that's only in my imagination. Thanks for all your replies That was what i was afraid of,him saying oh its her again. Dumpers who ends things poorly dont seem to have a sensitivity chip bc they are not at the recieving end. I just e-mailed him,which i thought was the safest route,still is the same .
0hpenelope Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 Thanks for all your replies That was what i was afraid of,him saying oh its her again. Dumpers who ends things poorly dont seem to have a sensitivity chip bc they are not at the recieving end. I just e-mailed him,which i thought was the safest route,still is the same . Girl, just dust yourself off and chalk it up as your final attempt at contact. In not doing anything, he just showed you that he doesn't care anymore. Most dumpers really just want out and don't care about how they end things. They just want to be done. Ok fine, be done! You'll be stronger and wiser from this. It might not be helpful to you but just repeating myself, I think of the possible outcome of being the butt of the jokes if I do anything that comes off as a desperate ex. I'm not going to chase after someone who clearly doesn't want me. That's a losing battle right there.
Author selena_cat Posted January 29, 2011 Author Posted January 29, 2011 Girl, just dust yourself off and chalk it up as your final attempt at contact. In not doing anything, he just showed you that he doesn't care anymore. Most dumpers really just want out and don't care about how they end things. They just want to be done. Ok fine, be done! You'll be stronger and wiser from this. It might not be helpful to you but just repeating myself, I think of the possible outcome of being the butt of the jokes if I do anything that comes off as a desperate ex. I'm not going to chase after someone who clearly doesn't want me. That's a losing battle right there. I like that ok, fine i'm done! No question about it,this is my final contact. And I am stronger and wiser about this,wish i didnt learn the hard way. Then again,i read countless of stories of folks who break NC and get some kind of response from exes/or dumpers. Guess those are the kind of dumpers who possess something called a conscience. .
Author selena_cat Posted January 29, 2011 Author Posted January 29, 2011 (edited) sorry i responded twice to that last response,had to edit it! Edited January 29, 2011 by selena_cat
ALonerAgain Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 I like that ok, fine i'm done! No question about it,this is my final contact. And I am stronger and wiser about this,wish i didnt learn the hard way. Then again,i read countless of stories of folks who break NC and get some kind of response from exes/or dumpers. Guess those are the kind of dumpers who possess something called a conscience. . Hi Selena, As somebody who has been the 'dumper' and more recently, the 'dumpee', I think i can offer 2 different persepectives. It depends on your motives behind contacting him. Why do you want to? To see if he still cares? He may do, but he may not be ready to talk to you either. My sister went through this too. Even when it's blatantly obvious that her and her ex were going round in circles she would always find some excuse to contact him. Myself, I have learnt from past experience that NC is the way to go. Yes, I've broken it too, and it always hurts 10x more than just having the curiousity in the 1st place. So, even though it might have seemed heartless to those I left behind, inside I was so torn that there was no other way to go but forward and away from them. And as OhPenelope has mentioned, there's always the scenario that your ex will have a laugh (or moan) to his mates/new girlfriend about how you tried to contact him. That's the thought that I try to keep and so far it's worked!
EmperorR Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 im pretty sure it does, its like after all i did for this person, days weeks months eeven years later im still on their mind?
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