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Gaining sense of self crucial for a LTR?


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Posted

I have realized that the overarching reason my R didn't work out, is because we were in different places in our lives. It's so cliche, but it's true. I wasn't in a place to prioritize the R over career and everything else. I wanted to and tried, but distance trumped my well meaning efforts. I feel really guilty about this.

 

This is making me think that I really need to gain more direction, more of an identity before I am ready for a really long lasting R. I want to be in a place where I'm not moving every few years. I want to have enough job experience under my belt, so that I have more options of where to live and what to do.

 

But more than that... maybe I just don't know myself well enough yet. I used to not understand what people meant when they said that, but it's true. At least it's true in my case. At 24, I still feel like I am stumbling through the world.

 

Can anyone relate to this?

Posted

Have you seen Runaway Bride, Isolde? You have to find out the way YOU like your eggs cooked best.

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Posted

Yep, but I don't remember anything about it :laugh:

Posted

Google "How do you like your eggs" and "The Wheel of Life" or Ian Lawton and you'll find a great blog/article about what I'm getting at. :)

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Posted

I don't think the analogy applies to my R, as I was in it for the right reasons. But it does apply to my life overall, I admit.

Posted

I really think that's what your 20's are about. I just turned 27 and I feel like I spend 90% of my life guessing. It's really just gaining life experience and trial and error. I don't look at it as failure anymore.

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