Lucky555 Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 posted about my guy before about how i would ask what is going on basically. I asked him if he wanted to continue seeing each other and he didn't say yes and he didn't say no. I'm puzzled by this, because it seems like he is not "committing himself" in some odd way. So basically he claimed everything is fine but we have not been intimate in 16 days. To me this is a long time to not being intimate with each other when your in a relationship then the guy says I'm busy. So he is not cheating on me but maybe he is pursuing someone else?? I have no idea. I'm feeling a huge lack of relationship intimacy and feel like i should be on my own if im single most of the time. Even the last time i saw him he was not very affectionate. I tried asking him whats wrong and he refuses to say anything. Im upset thinking about it because I dont see why he can't just say he doesn't want to be with me since clearly hes not calling, texting or anything else. What am i to do? Clearly hes not fulfilling my needs in any way. I have a life i do keep busy. We rarely see each other and I feel like being single i could meet someone who can be a boyfriend and try to be in a relationship. Seems like this guy maybe isn't wanting to put in the effort. No connecting fun dates, no contacting me. I'm not sure what to do. How would someone else approach this. I could be distant just like he does but technically im still in a relationship and its not like i can meet other guys. I just feel like im in a dilemma.
edgeofdarkness Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Yr single you jus dont relaise it, he wont tell you; gotta find this out fr yrrself. Id go out dating, enjoy yrself and hv sum fun, bcos if it hasent dawne on u yet that yr a free ageint, permit me to b the one to let u kno. He is so out of this rel-ship, im surprised u even still considr him on 1stname turms....
Author Lucky555 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 ya im feeling like 2 months we should be connecting more. He claims he is busy but has time for watching sports. Ya im not a cheater but it is obvious he isnt connecting with me. he isn't even trying to. I have been feeling this way for awhile now and have tried to give it a chance to bloom into something great. Im so used to having more in a relationship. I am not liking being stressed about wondering if he is cheating on me because he isn't ever talking to me! I'm frustrated. I give myself credit for trying to find true love at least. Thinking this guy isn't getting anymore from me. I might as well be single.
edgeofdarkness Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 write hm a txt, 'it ws nice nowing u, so long n thnx, but im moving on 2 find sumone who knos how 2 mk me happy n i mk them happy, u n i arnt doing that so good luck and hv a happy life,, im gonna.'' dont xpect an answer becus it will giv him the relese off the hook he ws hoping forr.
Author Lucky555 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 write hm a txt, 'it ws nice nowing u, so long n thnx, but im moving on 2 find sumone who knos how 2 mk me happy n i mk them happy, u n i arnt doing that so good luck and hv a happy life,, im gonna.'' dont xpect an answer becus it will giv him the relese off the hook he ws hoping forr. ya he used to be attentive and now its like he doesn't care. I gave him the opportunity to express himself. I also feel like he is avoiding me talking to him. We did see each other a couple days ago but he just wasn't acting the same. Im also pretty bored with the lack of fun and connecting as i said. Thanks for your posts I was feeling so sad really because I rather have him say that its not what he wants and i can move on. Its like he doesn't want to say anything and is keeping me around. I do plan on having a talk next time for now i will be preparing myself for a break up. I just can't take this anymore of being loyal to someone who isnt there! thanks again.
edgeofdarkness Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 no gurl, dont wait for the talk, do it to him befor he duz it to you!!! take the leasd and dich him, cut the stirng and free yrself, no point waiting for what,? so he cn hurt u latr? no way, just do it, sumtimes yu got to deal with bthe crap in one big go. littl asteps dont work, take the leap.
depplover_1980 Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 My partner (well it's debatable at the moment) is rubbish for instigating contact etc, but when we are together we have a fantastic time. So if you aren't even having that then it's not worth tolerating the rest of it. Take the pleasure in dumping him and being the strong one to do it!!
Author Lucky555 Posted January 29, 2011 Author Posted January 29, 2011 ya last time i saw him there was no date. He basically just wanted me to please him. I felt like he was being such a jerk to me. I didn't get anything out of it so i thought maybe later this week. however, nothing. I think he just doesn't want to dump me! I have known him for quite awhile and it just feels like he cant emotionally open up to me either! Like im feeling myself being in a relationship and he is not. I just want the closure when i talk to him. However, he is unavailable to me a lot of the time so the first opportunity im going to get straight to the point. I'm very turned off and my emotions are shut down now. I really thought he would have said something in my last discussion with him and i though maybe after that things would get better but they didn't! Thanks everyone.
edgeofdarkness Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 the first opportunity is rite now, just go total NC and mov on dont evn give him the curtesy of telling him or bringing n e thing up, consider yrselfs alredy split up, he nevr makes any considrat move 2wrd you, give him the smae tretament just end it in yr mind, and end it now fr good., mebe in a few weeks hell get the hint
Author Lucky555 Posted January 29, 2011 Author Posted January 29, 2011 the first opportunity is rite now, just go total NC and mov on dont evn give him the curtesy of telling him or bringing n e thing up, consider yrselfs alredy split up, he nevr makes any considrat move 2wrd you, give him the smae tretament just end it in yr mind, and end it now fr good., mebe in a few weeks hell get the hint this is exactly how i feel. He isn't making any movement toward me. He will come back saying to me "I was busy". Heck it takes less than a minute to send a text or message me. Its awful that i tried to reach out and got no where and your absolutely right he does deserve the same treatment because its not right what he is doing to me and i know he is aware. I have a feeling he is doing this to manipulate me and play games. I dont understand why people do this to others when im very honest, I'm considerate, I'm all around a good person. I know he has self esteem issues and i can't fix that. I shouldn't have to pay for that. Luckily lately i have found an opportunity to meet new people. I was talking to a really gorgeous guy and i was like what am i doing with my current guy again?? The guy seemed interested in me too. Since i have been disconnected from my guy for awhile now i felt happy and really wanting to meet him but then i remember about my current guy..Its torture for myself because obviously i shouldn't sacrifice my happiness when my guy is probably looking for someone else as i speak. He doesn't tell me anything and he is not including me in his life so after 2 months i believe its time for something to happen. We have only been on one real date in two months. Otherwise taking your advise declaring myself single.
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