purplepanda Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 (edited) Last April I had my heart broken for the second time and it hurt so much more than the first time, because it was actually mutual (where we BOTH fell for each other, not just me for him). Even now I'm not really over it, but I'm still pushing myself to forget about him. That summer/fall I wanted a boyfriend so bad so I'd forget about the Other guy I dated. Last October I started dating Guy 1: he's a year younger, no job, no car, doesn't drink or smoke or get high. He plays video games nonstop and when we talked on the phone he was always playing it. I really liked him; but he wasn't AMAZING. I could go a whole day without talking to him and I'd be okay. That's not normal for me. We lost our virginities to each other and I felt like he was the right person for that, I still do. Guy 2 has been my friend since last summer, and we were both hung up over someone who didn't want us. He's a senior (i'm a junior; guy 1 is a sophomore) in high school and we could talk about anything and everything. He broke up with his girlfriend of a year and a half and hasn't dated anyone since her, but he's lost 3 good friends because he dated them. Right before christmas I finally got a cell phone and we were talking nonstop, in the mornings till the night. The week after Christmas, he asked to be friends with benefits and I didn't say yes or no but it was exciting to talk to him like that! It was all flirty, I didn't think it would go anywhere, but then a few days later we met up (he lives 40 miles away, and guy 1, my bf, lives 10 miles from him and they actually know each other). I didn't mean for things to go so far, but we had sex, I was his first. Afterward I was like What's wrong with me? Why did I do that? But we had a lot of fun... I told my boyfriend that I cheated on him, and I felt bad that I was with him when I did something so stupid, but I didn't feel bad for having fun. A couple weeks later, I broke up with him, because me and my friend with benefits were getting really close and we both admitted to having feelings for each other. He's moving to Seattle, Washington in June, and he said that he doesn't want to date anyone because he's lost too many good friends. But if he's moving, then what will we have as friends, except through technology? And what have we already done to our friendship? He admitted that I helped him through a lot last summer, because he was hung up on the girl who my ex (that I WAS HUNG UP ON), was sleeping with. We've hung out five times and I'm crazy about him, I'm not in love with him, I've always jumped too quickly to call it love. He's the most mature, sexiest guy I've ever met, and he has a job, car, won't make me pay for everything (I always have) and I've never actually been on a real date. :/ He's also very sweet and has a really soft side that I've fallen head over heels for because he makes me feel like I'm not crazy for being the way that I am, for thinking the way I am. The reason why I'm so torn is because I dated guy 1 for three months...we've seen each other every weekend, and we've had fun. We also lost our virginities to each other and I don't want it to seem like i wanted to use to him Get Rid of It. When I'm about to see Guy 2, I get this excited feeling in my gut, which I never got with my boyfriend...well ex. I've been super happy all the time now, which is how my personality is, but I feel like for the last four or five months I've been just mellow. I'm ALWAYS nervous around Guy 2, but never nervous with Guy 1, although we always had fun together, and he's crazy in love with me. Also, I'm not LOOKING for this guy (2), and he makes me forget about my ex whom I haven't gotten over and it's been almost a year now. As a matter of fact, when he plays his games with me, it doesn't hurt anymore. I think my friend with benefits, guy 2, has been the reason for that. I want to make the right choice, to choose the right person, and if there isn't one, then there isn't, nothing I can do about it. Please help me???? Edited January 28, 2011 by purplepanda I had to add something
Cracker Jack Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 (edited) You're young, so it's understandable to be in this position. However, even when considering that, I think you should move on and not continue anything serious with either guy. You'll likely be better off doing that. If you're not okay with doing that, then just stick with the FWB guy and go from there, if you're fine with a possible LD relationship. Edited January 28, 2011 by Cracker Jack
Author purplepanda Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 Both are long distance, but I'm able to see both, cause they live 10 miles apart. I'd say I only date long distance, but that's not what I choose...I just don't like anyone in my town and vice versa.
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