quietGuy13 Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Like I"ve been telling you guys, i'm shy and social phobic, etc. But i'm trying stuff recently. I found 2 people online that live in my city. They're two girls. One of them is shy and socialphobic too.. the other one is a foreigner. WE may meet soon. Although is not dating as you guys know it. I kinda consider it dating just to meet them cause i don't even meet women in my daily life(except for work i do but at work is just work they're not really interested in me) I don't really know how to make the conversation be fun and how to not make them get bored. Any tips?
fishtaco Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Well, if you're not a talker than think of something entertaining to do that doesn't require talking. Like a movie. But talking is better. If you can entertain women with your words, that's the best way. But easier said than done. I'm much better now, it's a skill I try to work on. But, I can only do it with certain women... I need proper feedback to keep going. I know some guys can just keep going regardless. I need to work up to that point.
january2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Ask questions regarding their work, what they do for fun, places they've been to, what they want to do with their lives, family, childhood, etc. Then use their replies to generate more questions. Offer up information about yourself in between so that it doesn't look like an interrogation. You could also talk about the venue where you meet, e.g., ask them if they've been before, what looks good on the menu, etc. There's a lot you can ask the international girl about where she's from, her culture, what it's like to live in X, how she's finding the US, what she likes best about the US, etc. How often does she go back to visit her family? How often do they visit her? And so on and so forth. With the shy girl, even if she doesn't spend a lot of time with other people, there will be things that she does in her spare time that you can talk about. I find that when getting to know people, it's a case of discovering their passion or what they're enthusiastic about/what makes them happy, even painfully shy people have a passion or something that they really enjoy doing. Once you find that passion, usually they can't stop talking about it. They will usually give you clues during the conversation that will lead you in the right direction and then it's process of elimination/trial and error. You can also use that opportunity to treat them as the expert and ask them something that's always stumped you, for example, especially if their passion is something that you don't know much about. Good luck. I really enjoy reading these updates of yours.
ivalm Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 Like I"ve been telling you guys, i'm shy and social phobic, etc. But i'm trying stuff recently. I found 2 people online that live in my city. They're two girls. One of them is shy and socialphobic too.. the other one is a foreigner. WE may meet soon. Although is not dating as you guys know it. I kinda consider it dating just to meet them cause i don't even meet women in my daily life(except for work i do but at work is just work they're not really interested in me) I don't really know how to make the conversation be fun and how to not make them get bored. Any tips? Good luck! Keep us updated
Author quietGuy13 Posted January 29, 2011 Author Posted January 29, 2011 Thanks all for the tips. Well the shy girl is busy studying for exams now so we're not meeting till next week. And sadly i think she's a nerd... and possibly not feminine and not hot. Well whatever though, i'll just try it . good for my social skills. if she's a nice person it will be a good friend experience. The language girl.. probably gave up on me or is busy too. cause she's also a student. she hasn't answered my mail in about 3 days, and we were supposed to meet tomorrow and still doesn't answer so i can know where and when. If she found another hunk guy to teach, she probably gave up on me. especially since i told her i'm quiet and atypical and usually foreign women like outgoing talkative hunks.
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