is2008 Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 i'm just wondering what the best course of action is after a break up? i'm not in denial that it's over (although i'd always have that little bit of hope) but during the NC phase, do we allow ourselves to absorb thoughts of him/her, keep reminding ourselves of them or do we completely block them out? i'm currently blocking the majority of her good points out but when i do think of her one or two good points (she had many bad) it stings like hell. i'm wondering, by blocking them out, am i going to turn into a blubbering mess later on or is this going to help me heal?
Fern Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 i'm just wondering what the best course of action is after a break up? i'm not in denial that it's over (although i'd always have that little bit of hope) but during the NC phase, do we allow ourselves to absorb thoughts of him/her, keep reminding ourselves of them or do we completely block them out? i'm currently blocking the majority of her good points out but when i do think of her one or two good points (she had many bad) it stings like hell. i'm wondering, by blocking them out, am i going to turn into a blubbering mess later on or is this going to help me heal? Depends what stage you're at. I, personally, think a little bit of absorbing and processing is necessary. There are certain things that were incredibly painful to think about a few months ago that I can now think about without feeling bad - and I think processing and accepting those helped me heal. However if something is causing pain and that pain is threatening to make you spiral into a funk, block it out. Your brain is a wonderful thing. I think a lot of the processing happens at a subconscious level. I say, don't torture yourself. By all means get it out by writing it down or coming on here - but at the same time - be kind to yourself.
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