Nexus One Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 I hope it works out for you girls. You women seem to want it so badly, you try so hard. So much fear, emotion and desire for something meaningful. I think men often don't fully understand what they make you go through. Blissfully ignorant f*cks that we are.
StalledGirl Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 I don't fall in love easily so I doubt i'd say it before the man did but if I wanted to say it , I would.
depplover_1980 Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 I hope it works out for you girls. You women seem to want it so badly, you try so hard. So much fear, emotion and desire for something meaningful. I think men often don't fully understand what they make you go through. Blissfully ignorant f*cks that we are. 'Ignorance is bliss'
Author SarcasticBlonde Posted January 29, 2011 Author Posted January 29, 2011 Good! I didn't mean to insult you, SB, or to say that you were clingy. I did give you my advice as a guy who knows how it feels to be in a relationship with a woman who put more energy into it than I did. It made me want to pull away. I hope things work out with you and your guy and so I give my unvarnished opinion. Then again, looks like depplover and SunshineGirl already had said the same thing I did. Oh you didn't insult me.
Author SarcasticBlonde Posted January 29, 2011 Author Posted January 29, 2011 My boyfriend has done a real turn around in the last week. Tonight I was telling him how I got a call for a job interview in his area (we live an hour apart) He was completely ecstatic. I was almost moved to tears to hear the excitement in his voice, to think of the possibility of me living closer. I did go on to tell him that I do plan to go on the interview but it doesn't mean I will move to the area, only because its a little too expensive for me. He does well financially and makes considerably more than I do. I told him I would most likely commute from where I currently live if I ever got a job over there. And it is very hard to find an affordable apartment that allows pets, since I have a dog. He then went on to say his lease expires in April and that he would be open to the idea of us getting a place together, if I would want to move there. I want to be happy about this, but its also a little weird from where we were a little over 1 week ago..
carhill Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 Perhaps the appropriate time, place and mood will strike either of you when you go away in a few weeks. See how it goes. Personally, in your circumstances, with his relationship and emotional style as shared in your past threads, I'd wait for him. Here's a sign. Most women who've seen me with my friends hear me tell them, both males and females, that I love them. My mom's dead, but I used to do the same thing with her. If this guy's 'style' is to never say ILY to those near and dear to him, don't expect him to say it first. If you've heard him with loved ones, then perhaps better chances. Regardless, this is a 'release' of control for a man and it should be valued as such. He's 'giving' you a part of himself with this, if he has any substantial connection to his emotions. Personally, I see it as an important move forward. YMMV As a reminder to myself, and perhaps guidance to other males so inclined, it's probably better these days to say ILY to a romantic potential *after* sex. Reflecting upon friendzone activities over the years, and recently, causes me to alter this long-time habit/feeling/action. OK, onward. Hope things go well
Author SarcasticBlonde Posted January 29, 2011 Author Posted January 29, 2011 Perhaps the appropriate time, place and mood will strike either of you when you go away in a few weeks. See how it goes. Personally, in your circumstances, with his relationship and emotional style as shared in your past threads, I'd wait for him. Here's a sign. Most women who've seen me with my friends hear me tell them, both males and females, that I love them. My mom's dead, but I used to do the same thing with her. If this guy's 'style' is to never say ILY to those near and dear to him, don't expect him to say it first. If you've heard him with loved ones, then perhaps better chances. Regardless, this is a 'release' of control for a man and it should be valued as such. He's 'giving' you a part of himself with this, if he has any substantial connection to his emotions. Personally, I see it as an important move forward. YMMV As a reminder to myself, and perhaps guidance to other males so inclined, it's probably better these days to say ILY to a romantic potential *after* sex. Reflecting upon friendzone activities over the years, and recently, causes me to alter this long-time habit/feeling/action. OK, onward. Hope things go well He doesn't say that to his family or friends. We actually talked about this early on. He saw how I'am with my family/friends, even my dog. I say "I love you" to those I love, pretty often. He asked me if that was an "American" thing. His family had never really said "I love you" to him, even growing up. So I know its going to be a challenge.
carhill Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 OK, with remembrances of the recent past fresh, let your actions show that you love him and give the words time. One step at a time. Your ILY's to a man who isn't ready will feel like pressure. Go with the flow
MissKnowitall Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Life IS too short. Besides, who says what first is playing games, if you feel it SAY IT! I said it and my guy didnt say it back for a month.. and then only in a text.. another month and he mumbled it in a voicemail message.. another month and he actually said it on the phone. Now he says it ALL the time, to the point that if I don't say it, he gets all sad. Saying I LOVE YOU is tough for some people and they go at their own pace. It just means that they take it very seriously and don't give it away lightly. I don't either, I am just comfy expressing my feelings. It stung that he didnt say it back right away but I knew he loved me.
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