rrobbie Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 (edited) know her for yrs close friend we got intimate for a few months when she got dumped ( i was rebound) help her get over depression and really down she tried to end her life we bonded and i felt i loved her with all teh support she ended it and i got nasty and called her names (sl*t) when she wanted me to help her find new man etc and i got angry i miss her i miss the friendship we had b4 we got together i went crazy the week after the breakup with trying to contact her and made a fool of myself i told her i cant live without her and all the pathetic things that was going through my mind just to get her to respond to me i feel so guilty about the hurt i caused she hurt me by doing what she did but i want to forget about the past and just be mate again with her it been a month and i sent her a lobg txt about how i behaved and just want to be friends again the way we were she a friends sister and everything and i dont want to be her enemy i feel so awful will she ever reply back to me as we have a long history every one says forget her she a fruit loop ( serial cheater) but i only want her friendship back she was my only female friend and i care so much about her she was liek a sister b4 we got romantic i feel ashamed of what i called her and disrepected her i dont want her romanticly i just miss her friendship and want to make things right again im so down over the whole thing will she ever stop ignoring me Edited January 28, 2011 by rrobbie
JrRos Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 I once became good friends with someone. I loved to hang out with her. We had many things in common, and we had a awesome time together. We fooled around, and we had sex. Long story short, friendship was practically over. Although I still talk to her once a month or so. Things were never the same after we became romantically, and physically involved. I know is not much comfort, but things tend to end up like this with friends that become more than just friends.
radiodarcy Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 (edited) i've been there as well - - not long ago, in fact. we'd known each other for years through work and had been friends. he pursued me. i resisted - - didn't want to risk ruining a good working relationship and a friendship. but he won me over. he was my first - - i thought i could trust him not to hurt me. but he still did. after two months of what i thought was dating. he informed me i had the wrong idea and that he wanted to date other people - -but have us remain friends. which pretty much translated too "i want to keep you around for sex and other fun stuff while i look for someone else". to top it all off - - he told me several months later that a girl he had told me he had only hung out with on what he said was a "platonic basis" was in fact someone the last girl he has ever loved since his divorce from his ex-wife. and that they had in fact dated hard core and even discussed marriage. she wound up dumping him due to his commitment phobia and he never got over it - - it was only then that i realized i had been a rebound. so i guess i was just one of many tails he was chasing in order to forget. no matter how many times i tried to explain it to him, he could not understand why i would get so upset when he would talk about other girls he was hanging out with. i put up with it for two years (my fault but i loved him so). finally back in november we had a big argument about it and he told me he was fed up with the situation and i needed to move on. i went NC not long after that. he sent me a few holiday texts and called me once to see how i was doing (i didnt answer but called back when i knew he wouldn't be able to answer and left him a vm telling him "i'm fine, thanks for asking. hope you are doing well too. bye"). it hurts not to be able to talk to him like i used to. but then - - we haven't spoken to each other normally since this whole mess started two years ago. i think what my friend once told me is true -- once you go past friends, you can never really go back Edited January 28, 2011 by radiodarcy
Author rrobbie Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 havnt heard a reply from her i feel so ashamed that i acted crazy i feel so guilty that things went sour why coulbnt i keep my cool and let her find a new guy with my help it just not the same with out her in my life we used to tak fitness classes and talk about everything i hope we can talk a again ive forgiven myself and want he rto forgive me and just be buddies its still doing my head in that she cant talk did i really piss her off i feel liek the biggest bastard on earth now
whichwayisup Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Send her one more email (not text!) explain how you feel, how much you miss her and how much you regret and have remorse by what you said to her and how you treated her. Tell her you want the friendship back and are willing to work with her to make sure things stay good between you two. Then back off and let her have space. if she contacts you, great! If not, then sadly it means she isn't interested or ready for a friendship. Respect her and no more name calling ,even if you are hurt or angry with her.
Author rrobbie Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 i texted her that 4 days ago so i have to wait i guess she told friends in our group that i have to stop contact or shell call cops that was last dec when we split up and ive not acted needy or desperate since . the rejection hurt as i did so much for her supported her after she got out of hospital for trying to end her life i ended up caringing for her crying with her depression had a fling and ruined everthing shes usually the one that goes crazy when she gets dumped and i acted like her this time over the yrs we hang out after break ups
spackle Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 give her the space she wants. She will either calm down and be able to talk to you again but realise things will not be the same OR she my choose never to contact you again, yes it's hard to hear but give it time and you'll both feel better.
mark982 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 rrobbie, i feel for you. i went through the same thing as you, only difference was mine was "years" ago. to this day i truely regret taking our friendship to a different level. she was the best damn friend i ever, or will have. but like radio says, once you go past friends,you can never go back. if i could undo any of my screw-up over all these years, this would be one of my top 5.
Author rrobbie Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 latley if been having thoughts if i was lying in hospital sick or terminal (touchwood) would she care or visit it would be my last wish to tell her my woes is it normal to think like that
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