Seriously!? She's looking for someone making $100,000 -$150,000 on Match.com.

January 28, 2011

I know what you're saying, but $100000 as a household income (before tax) in the US puts you in the top quintile (2009 figures).

Median US household income for 2009 is a shade under $50000.

You are kidding me!! I earn as much just for myself as most households get for the entire household?!! I'm not even well off - I don't even earn that much compared to most of the people I know!

Maybe the woman in the OP doesn't realize her expectations are so high - I thought $50k must be below average because most people I know earn more than that; earning $50k makes me the poor one in my group of friends!

January 28, 2011

A guy who makes 100K plus doesn't need to be on match lol!

January 28, 2011

You are kidding me!! I earn as much just for myself as most households get for the entire household?!! I'm not even well off - I don't even earn that much compared to most of the people I know!

Maybe the woman in the OP doesn't realize her expectations are so high - I thought $50k must be below average because most people I know earn more than that; earning $50k makes me the poor one in my group of friends!

I am the poorest --- or close --- in my group too at around 40K on an educator's salary. The fact is, most people (who choose to work full time/find full time work) do much better with a college education. Stastisics show that as well.

Circles matter a lot, and education -- more than income, but they go hand-in-hand -- tends to dictate circles. Statistics show that, too. What do I have in common with people who are scraping by, working at Wal-Mart, and will be forever? (It's not that I look down on them, and there may be exceptions, but we aren't going to have a lot of common interests, generally.) Many people are trapped in low-earning jobs, our society requires it to function as it does, and it's kind of sad---but also what brings down those statsistics.

January 28, 2011

Why look at the 15 and up figures? Presumably, the women is too old for 15 year old boys!

I was in a rush and didn't notice the other data sets.

January 28, 2011

Circles matter a lot, and education -- more than income, but they go hand-in-hand -- tends to dictate circles. Statistics show that, too. What do I have in common with people who are scraping by, working at Wal-Mart, and will be forever? (It's not that I look down on them, and there may be exceptions, but we aren't going to have a lot of common interests, generally.) Many people are trapped in low-earning jobs, our society requires it to function as it does, and it's kind of sad---but also what brings down those statsistics.

I guess that makes sense. The people in my social circle include an entrepreneur, a podiatrist, a bank manager, a police officer, a lawyer, and a couple of young college professors. I'm comparing myself to the average wealth of the educated professionals in my social group, so although earning $50k makes me one of the lower earners in the group, I'm actually reasonably well off compared to a lot of people (e.g. the people who work in Wal-Mart).

January 28, 2011

How seriously can you take a chick that puts in her Match.com profile that she's looking for someone making $100,000-$150,000+? This comes from a 43 year old teacher (single mom) that makes $45,000. Can she seriously expect to get a lot of responses? The reason I know her is that we used to date. I'm a teacher (and coach) as well and I make around $68,000 (I swear IRS). I hate to think that one reason (not the only reason) we stopped seeing each other was because I don't make six figures. I mean, she's pretty good looking but geez, isn't she shooting a little bit high? *sigh* You like what you like, I guess. Sorry, just venting.

If she's even half-way attractive she can nab a rich husband in a heartbeat. There are tons of men who make 150+ and just want someone to treat them well.

If she has other criteria besides money, then it gets a bit harder.

I don't think any less of her than I do about the 60+ year old men who are looking for hot girls in their 20s-30s.

I couldn't do it myself, but if that's what's important to you - go for it.

January 28, 2011

Many people of both sexes would like this, just aren't bold enough to say it. In my situation, it is reversed. I am the doc w/ high earnings which brought my husband into a lifestyle he never had or could have hoped to have on his own. All his guy friends are jealous and mumble about " gee must be nice, you lucked out, does she have friends, wish I'd seen her before you" etc. It's only natural to want the best possible match on many levels, and a lot of people do luck out and find spouses that bring them an easier life. Doesn't hurt to dream..

January 28, 2011

this thread has turned into a giant bragfest for certain members...

January 28, 2011

A gold digger and nothing more.

I always thought this sort of thing wasn't very common and seen more in the movies but as I've gotten older, I've observed just how common place it is. It's amazing just how much females love ca$h. I've experienced it for myself a couple of months back.
It legitimately disgusts me.

What? For wanting someone to be financially solvent? A TRUE gold digger would be setting the bar way higher.

The problem is (as zengirl pointed out) that when you have a child the second income at least partially vanishes, and you mostly have to manage on the guy's income, plus you have all these extra expenses associated with the child. We would struggle to manage on my boyfriend's current income, and that's without even considering the additional costs of having a child. His $50k income is actually fairly average, so if we couldn't manage on that then guys who earn well below average have no chance of supporting a family, and it would be kind of pointless to even date them. I once dated a guy who earned $25k, and his inability to support a family (and lack of future prospects for doing so) was one of the reasons I broke up with him.

Realistically, a guy needs to earn about $50k to support a family, if the woman works part-time for extra cash - if the woman doesn't work then he probably needs to earn more like $60-70k. Even then, the family wouldn't be well off and might struggle to make ends meet - $100k would provide a comfortable lifestyle for a family with a non-working mom, so I don't think the woman in the OP is really asking for a lot.

Me neither.

this thread has turned into a giant bragfest for certain members...

??? Where?

January 28, 2011

To me, its not so much that she wants a partner with a particular income level or the amount (which is relative to where you live, etc) its the idea that she said it in so many words. It sounds so...cheap and vulgar and quite a turn off both to those who do not reach that amount and even more so probably to those who exceed it.

She may have said instead: Seeking a partner who has the time and resources to explore the activities and interests we may share.

January 28, 2011

To me, its not so much that she wants a partner with a particular income level or the amount (which is relative to where you live, etc) its the idea that she said it in so many words. It sounds so...cheap and vulgar and quite a turn off both to those who do not reach that amount and even more so probably to those who exceed it.

She may have said instead: Seeking a partner who has the time and resources to explore the activities and interests we may share.

Yes.

From the past days of newspaper personal ads, the common:

"Attractive young woman seeking generous older man."

January 28, 2011

To me, its not so much that she wants a partner with a particular income level or the amount (which is relative to where you live, etc) its the idea that she said it in so many words. It sounds so...cheap and vulgar and quite a turn off both to those who do not reach that amount and even more so probably to those who exceed it.

She may have said instead: Seeking a partner who has the time and resources to explore the activities and interests we may share.

I think sites like match get you to put your preferences in according to tick boxes and drop down menus, which is probably where the $100-$150K comes from.

January 28, 2011

OH!! Haha. I am such an idiot sometimes.

January 28, 2011

"How dare this guy say he prefers fit women?"; "How dare this woman say she prefers a partner with a high income?". I often get the impression people think that 100% of the members of the opposite sex should be available to them, at all times, with no specific preferences for anything.

Every time I read a thread about a specific person's "silly" preference (income, height, weight, breast-size), it makes me think that what's at issue isn't the person's preference, but the fact that we're confronted to the stark realities of the dating world. Face it people, it's filled with inequalities! Nobody has an obligation to give you a chance.

The issue isn't their preferences but our equally shared sense of self-protection and entitlement.

Personally, I think the world would be a much better place if all men were into sassy, nerdy, tall and curvy brunettes .

January 28, 2011

To each their own. If that's what she feels she wants and weeds out the rest then so be it. Feel for ya OP, hard not to have a little bit of sour grapes about it. But move on, another woman will think you're the bees knees.

Personally I don't put my income in my profiles to weed out this type of woman. I was raised that to ask someone's salary is inappropriate and rude. Conversely to advertise your own can be rude and egotistical. You get to know me, we become close and trust has been earned then I'll let you know. You'll find out enough by my lifestyle and surroundings should you choose to actually meet me.

January 28, 2011

Hefner is broke, folks. The playmates don't do him for the money. They do him to get famous.

$100k and up is pretty much the norm for professionals in my age group (30+).

this thread has turned into a giant bragfest for certain members...

Huh? Where in the 36 posts before yours do you see any bragging?

January 28, 2011

Wow, you guys are really harsh - not to mention judgemental.

She's aiming high that's all. I thought in the US you all admired people wanting the best for themselves. For heavens sake cut the woman some slack.

Did she even have an option to say 'salary irrelevant'? Or was it a choice of salary tiers and she had to pick one? If so, why not pick the highest? She's probably not 'desperate' so she's narrowing down her criteria - that's her right.

She's a teacher with an established career (presumably) and probably doesn't have the option to make more money of her own - so what's wrong with admitting she'd like a man who has a very comfortable income? Are you telling me you wouldn't all like a really comfortable lifestyle if it was offered on a plate?

mustangsb27, I doubt very much she dumped you because of your income level, but now she's looking for a new partner, you can't blame her for being honest about her 'ideal man'. I'm certainly not a gold-digger and I've certainly never had a wealthy partner but, when I was single, if I'd had the option of a good man with money or a good man without - I'm honest enough to say (all other things being equal) I would have chosen the money every time.

Don't tell me everyone else on match.com is only interested in personality? Whether you're a guy looking for the hottest woman who'll date you (please don't pretend that's not what your looking for or that you don't skip over, ignore or delete the 'ugly' ones), or you're a woman who puts money above looks - you're all as bad as/no worse than one another.

Presumably you really liked this woman, mustang (she dumped you right?), so you know she has good qualities. She knows what she has to offer and she knows what she's looking for. She's chosen to lay the appropriate bait to catch the right man and if any man thinks he can't live up to her expectations then he need not apply.

What everyone should be looking for is a compatible partner - forget about both money and looks and concentrate on other aspects of the persons online profile - things about them that really matter. You're probably all missing out on the best of the bunch because of your judgemental attitudes.

I agree with you and don't have a problem with her being clear about what she wants. Maybe she is shallow for wanting a man who makes six figures, but men are also shallow and we want a good-looking woman.

I admit, though, that this woman would have to be exceptional is order to obtain a decent man making that kind of money. If she is 43, makes only $45k, and has a child, most men will write her off immediately unless she is extremely attractive.

January 28, 2011

How seriously can you take a chick that puts in her Match.com profile that she's looking for someone making $100,000-$150,000+? This comes from a 43 year old teacher (single mom) that makes $45,000. Can she seriously expect to get a lot of responses? The reason I know her is that we used to date. I'm a teacher (and coach) as well and I make around $68,000 (I swear IRS). I hate to think that one reason (not the only reason) we stopped seeing each other was because I don't make six figures. I mean, she's pretty good looking but geez, isn't she shooting a little bit high? *sigh* You like what you like, I guess. Sorry, just venting.

Once I e-mailed a girl to see if I had a shot. She sent me a financial statement questionnaire and said that she wouldn't talk to me until I filled it out. Some have different values than others, that's all.

January 28, 2011

SG, you are asking this question:

Huh? Where in the 36 posts before yours do you see any bragging?

right after saying:

$100k and up is pretty much the norm for professionals in my age group (30+).

I think some people might consider that as bragging.

January 28, 2011

A guy who makes 100K plus doesn't need to be on match lol!

Actually, in big cities, you might be amazed at how little emphasis a lot of women actually place on a man's income. I have talked to male professionals who really believe that there are lots of woman who would rather date a bartender than a professional making good money because they presumably think that the bartender has a "cooler" job and is "more fun."

January 28, 2011

You are kidding me!! I earn as much just for myself as most households get for the entire household?!! I'm not even well off - I don't even earn that much compared to most of the people I know!

Maybe the woman in the OP doesn't realize her expectations are so high - I thought $50k must be below average because most people I know earn more than that; earning $50k makes me the poor one in my group of friends!

Well, it also depends on where you live. Someone could work a job in NYC that pays $60k, but if they were to move to Idaho, the same job might pay them $40k because of the huge difference in living expenses. I'm making up the numbers here, but the principle is the same. Cost of living is an important factor that tends to get lost when people compare numbers.

January 28, 2011

SG, you are asking this question:

right after saying:

I think some people might consider that as bragging.

Gosh, I really prefer the person I ask a question to to be the one who answers it.

I wasn't bragging. I didn't say a thing about my salary, just my demographic's norm (professionals who are 30+). It's not difficult to find professional men over 30 who earn $100k.

That said, the question remains, so I'll ask you this time. Where, before HER post, was anyone bragging? How is this thread a bragfest when no one has disclosed their own income?

January 29, 2011

Gosh, I really prefer the person I ask a question to to be the one who answers it.

SG, you are right, your question was directed to somebody else, I'm sorry.

I think it will be the best if I answer these questions together:

Where, before HER post, was anyone bragging? How is this thread a bragfest when no one has disclosed their own income?

I wasn't bragging. I didn't say a thing about my salary, just my demographic's norm (professionals who are 30+).

You are absolutely right about saying that noone has disclosed their income here. However, people are constantly making statements about what they consider "the norm". It happens either directly, or indirectly, through their own understanding of this particular lady's profile. And what is considered as "the norm" for some people, is not even close to "the norm" for others. As a consequence, some poster's statements, even if they were just making general statements, (and obviously not bragging), might seem as pure bragging to other posters.

For example: You say earning $100K is "the norm" for 30+ professionals. But when I think about people I know, with decent education and same age group, a lot of them is earning less then $50K. Therefore, what I consider as "the norm", is (sadly) nowhere near what you consider as "the norm". So, your statement sounds like bragging, because what you say seems almost unreal (although it is real for you, and since it is real, you were not bragging).

And of course, I understand that nobody was bragging in this thread (and I truly mean it!!!), however, I do think that (and I am repeating myself now) people are making statements about their income, either directly or indirectly, and it is easy to see a completely innocent non-bragging statement as bragging - it is just matter of perspective. Basically, my above statement about 30+ professionals earning less than $50K might also be seen as bragging.

Note: I do not really follow official data, news etc about this. Usually I make my statements on what is "the norm" based on my own observations. I also believe that most posters here do the same, that is, make their statements from their own perspective, based on their own values & lifestyles. I do not remember (except maybe one) poster here who actually said something about what is the official "norm" nowadays regarding income.

SG, when you were saying that you were talking about "just my demographic's norm (professionals who are 30+)": how do you know what is your demographic's norm? Was that statement based on your lifestyle/perspective, or is it actually an official data?

My question is genuine. I truly think I can learn sg new from this thread today.

January 29, 2011

Hefner is broke, folks. The playmates don't do him for the money. They do him to get famous.

$100k and up is pretty much the norm for professionals in my age group (30+).

Huh? Where in the 36 posts before yours do you see any bragging?

Hefner is broke? Really? If that is true that is awesome. Hate that old dirty man with a shriveled ardvark. ( don't know that but can only imagine)!

January 29, 2011

$100,000+ income is really not that off for college educated, graduate degree, professional men. Wall street careers are one where the bonus can exceed the salaries. A guy making $80k can receive a $50k bonus.

Many of my peers, college buddies are in that demographic.

It is just as easy falling in love with someone making $50k as with someone making $100k.

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Seriously!? She's looking for someone making $100,000 -$150,000 on Match.com.

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