Seriously!? She's looking for someone making $100,000 -$150,000 on Match.com.

January 28, 2011

How seriously can you take a chick that puts in her Match.com profile that she's looking for someone making $100,000-$150,000+? This comes from a 43 year old teacher (single mom) that makes $45,000. Can she seriously expect to get a lot of responses? The reason I know her is that we used to date. I'm a teacher (and coach) as well and I make around $68,000 (I swear IRS). I hate to think that one reason (not the only reason) we stopped seeing each other was because I don't make six figures. I mean, she's pretty good looking but geez, isn't she shooting a little bit high? *sigh* You like what you like, I guess. Sorry, just venting.

January 28, 2011

How seriously can you take a chick that puts in her Match.com profile that she's looking for someone making $100,000-$150,000+? This comes from a 43 year old teacher (single mom) that makes $45,000. Can she seriously expect to get a lot of responses? The reason I know her is that we used to date. I'm a teacher (and coach) as well and I make around $68,000 (I swear IRS). I hate to think that one reason (not the only reason) we stopped seeing each other was because I don't make six figures. I mean, she's pretty good looking but geez, isn't she shooting a little bit high? *sigh* You like what you like, I guess. Sorry, just venting.

If this is true then she's a gold digger, so why would you even want her?

Also, I don't know about your area, but in most big cities there are plenty professionals who make $100k+.. I know a lot of people in this salary range and in my experience one spouse makes quite a bit more money than the other spouse. So I think it's quite reasonable for people from different economic standings to date each other.

January 28, 2011

Kanye would say that's. A gold digger.

January 28, 2011

If she's in New York, it won't be a problem. That's what firemen make with overtime and cops are just under it. But yeah, gold digger regardless.

January 28, 2011

Even if I do fall into that category, why would I want to date someone who actually has that in their profile?

January 28, 2011

I think y'all are being generous.

I was going to say that whores are a dime a dozen.

January 28, 2011

Wow, you guys are really harsh - not to mention judgemental.

She's aiming high that's all. I thought in the US you all admired people wanting the best for themselves. For heavens sake cut the woman some slack.

Did she even have an option to say 'salary irrelevant'? Or was it a choice of salary tiers and she had to pick one? If so, why not pick the highest? She's probably not 'desperate' so she's narrowing down her criteria - that's her right.

She's a teacher with an established career (presumably) and probably doesn't have the option to make more money of her own - so what's wrong with admitting she'd like a man who has a very comfortable income? Are you telling me you wouldn't all like a really comfortable lifestyle if it was offered on a plate?

mustangsb27, I doubt very much she dumped you because of your income level, but now she's looking for a new partner, you can't blame her for being honest about her 'ideal man'. I'm certainly not a gold-digger and I've certainly never had a wealthy partner but, when I was single, if I'd had the option of a good man with money or a good man without - I'm honest enough to say (all other things being equal) I would have chosen the money every time.

Don't tell me everyone else on match.com is only interested in personality? Whether you're a guy looking for the hottest woman who'll date you (please don't pretend that's not what your looking for or that you don't skip over, ignore or delete the 'ugly' ones), or you're a woman who puts money above looks - you're all as bad as/no worse than one another.

Presumably you really liked this woman, mustang (she dumped you right?), so you know she has good qualities. She knows what she has to offer and she knows what she's looking for. She's chosen to lay the appropriate bait to catch the right man and if any man thinks he can't live up to her expectations then he need not apply.

What everyone should be looking for is a compatible partner - forget about both money and looks and concentrate on other aspects of the persons online profile - things about them that really matter. You're probably all missing out on the best of the bunch because of your judgemental attitudes.

January 28, 2011

On the contrary. Plenty of old, ugly rich men KNOW that the young, hot, nubile girls they're with, are with them for their money. C'mon, does Hefner really think his current Playmate is with him for true love? And, they're fine with it. It's an ego thing, really. 'Look at me, I'm rich and powerful, so I can get the hot girl of your dreams even though I'm 30 years older than her and wrinkly as a rug.'

Each to their own. *shrug*

January 28, 2011

Maybe she doesn't want someone who could sponge off her?

The whole deal with online dating is you can be as picky as you like without being penalised- the trade off is the pickier you are the fewer options you will get.

I can see why it grates you OP, but really its her prerogative to put whatever she wants in her profile.

January 28, 2011

And another thing- if you really were a gold digger, surely you wouldn't be setting an upper limit? $150K pa is a good income but its still pretty mainstream.

January 28, 2011

Most people prefer to have people attracted to them physically than financially.

I dont know any guy who wants women to like them because they are rich not because they are handsome.

Anyone who says that he/she feels good when people take interest in them because of his/her money is lying.

I don't know any woman who wants men to like them because of their looks and not their personality (although I'm willing to admit there are some exceptionally shallow women who may feel this way)

Looks fade, money doesn't always last. We all have more to offer than either looks or money.

All I'm saying is don't judge people so harshly based on one tiny aspect of their online profile.

January 28, 2011

Hugh Hefner knows those women like him for his money. But I bet if he were asked whether he prefer to be liked for his looks or his money, he would say looks.

No, if he really wanted to he would spend all that money on tons of cosmetic surgery instead of building his Playmate empire.

January 28, 2011

A gold digger and nothing more.

I always thought this sort of thing wasn't very common and seen more in the movies but as I've gotten older, I've observed just how common place it is. It's amazing just how much females love ca$h. I've experienced it for myself a couple of months back.

It legitimately disgusts me.

January 28, 2011

People have different goals in life. And cosmetic surgery can only do so much. Either you were born looking like Brad Pitt or you were not.

Besides, men are taught that women want their money more than their looks anyway and its the truth. So there is little point of being a poor handsome guy when the fat rich guy is gonna be the one who gets all the women.

But that doesnt mean men dont prefer to be liked for physical looks than their money. Its just that generally men have accepted that women have more interest in financial attribute than physical attribute in a man.

So if a woman prefers to be liked for her personality than looks, then what? Are all men going to change and not consider her looks just because of that? Are they all greedy superficial bastards for liking her for something when she prefers to be liked for something else?

January 28, 2011

There could be several motives:

- She wants to use her man as an ATM machine.

- She wants a partner who is financially equal (if she makes that kind of money)

- She thinks that men who make that kind of money are more mature.

January 28, 2011

How seriously can you take a chick that puts in her Match.com profile that she's looking for someone making $100,000-$150,000+? This comes from a 43 year old teacher (single mom) that makes $45,000. Can she seriously expect to get a lot of responses? The reason I know her is that we used to date. I'm a teacher (and coach) as well and I make around $68,000 (I swear IRS). I hate to think that one reason (not the only reason) we stopped seeing each other was because I don't make six figures. I mean, she's pretty good looking but geez, isn't she shooting a little bit high? *sigh* You like what you like, I guess. Sorry, just venting.

I am a teacher as well. Salary requirements aren't my thing (though my BF would be in her preferred range, though I had no idea when I met him, and we live in a city where the cost of living is much lower than a place like NYC). I'd date a man who made less than me, as long as he had professional ambition/a professional career and a college degree. Those are my requirements, and I have them both myself.

I will say that I know a lot of teachers who want to be a SAHM, and you can't really stay home with the kids, and keep the life you're accustomed to as a professional with a man who doesn't make close to that. I'm not saying it's right, but 100,000 is just two 50,000 incomes. If that's what she's going for, I don't know that it's always "gold digging" which to me is more "I just want to spend your money." Still not my style, and I don't really dig girls who go to college to get their M.R.S. either (Mrs. degree ), but I think there is a slight discrepancy between the two. I used to think they were one in the same, honestly, but my BF was, oddly, the one who convinced me otherwise.

Still, as I said, not my style, and I don't think it should ever be a dealbreaker. But she might think, "It's just Match" anyways. Though I'm in agreement that it's a bit gross, and see why it's a turnoff to some. Just offering a perspective that wasn't present.

I would think a sugar daddy would want a childless 25 year old beautiful woman in the first place anyway.

Oh, rich men are just like any other men --- they want all different sorts of things. And the woman in question is supposedly beautiful, per the OP.

January 28, 2011

Besides, men are taught that women want their money more than their looks anyway and its the truth. So there is little point of being a poor handsome guy when the fat rich guy is gonna be the one who gets all the women.

But that doesnt mean men dont prefer to be liked for physical looks than their money. Its just that generally men have accepted that women have more interest in financial attribute than physical attribute in a man.

Well that's simple then, I don't see your problem. If you're man, good looking or otherwise, and you think you don't make enough money to attract women - go make some more.

Women, of course, are stuck with the looks they're born with and, obviously getting rich isn't going to help because men are only interested in hot women, not rich ones.

A good looking woman should do OK though. She will probably have no problem hooking a rich man - that is until her looks fade - then Mr Hefner or whatever fat, rich man is supporting her, will run off with a younger, hotter model.

Even if 'Mr Hefner' is forced to give her a huge lump sum which leaves her stinking rich, she won't find another man because, as we all know, men are only interested in good looking young hotties.

So, in the world according to musemaj111, I don't see your problem.

Oh, unless of course what really concerns you is that you want to be loved for who you are and nothing to do with either your looks or your money - just like most women.

January 28, 2011

How seriously can you take a chick that puts in her Match.com profile that she's looking for someone making $100,000-$150,000+?

Let her worry about who she's looking for. It's not your problem.

January 28, 2011

I don't really see a problem.. she can ask for whatever she wants..

I find it ironic that financial matters are so 'taboo'... we have no problems asking for specific body features.. specific qualities...etc. why not our financial preference???

January 28, 2011

Most people prefer to have people attracted to them physically than financially.

I dont know any guy who wants women to like them because they are rich not because they are handsome.

Anyone who says that he/she feels good when people take interest in them because of his/her money is lying.

IMO people are different. Some men have many unpleasant qualities such as old, ugly, fat, short, bald, bad at sex, boring, and other similar qualities.

For some strange reason many of them have all the qualities simultaneously.

IMO, most of the men prefer to be sugar daddies for beautiful young women. But I agree with you that a few of the men would prefer either to be with women who are their match: old, ugly, fat, bad at sex and boring or to be totally alone.

January 28, 2011

you can't really stay home with the kids, and keep the life you're accustomed to as a professional with a man who doesn't make close to that. I'm not saying it's right, but 100,000 is just two 50,000 incomes.

100,000 is actually a lot less than two 50,000 incomes, because you'd pay more tax. My bf and I currently bring in roughly that much money between us (before tax) and we only have an average lifestyle. We can afford to eat decent food, pay for two cars, pay rent and bills, have regular nights out and a yearly holiday, buy nice clothes, etc... but we're by no means rich, and if we wanted to pay a mortgage (even on a small $150k house) we'd have to tighten our belts to afford it.

The problem is (as zengirl pointed out) that when you have a child the second income at least partially vanishes, and you mostly have to manage on the guy's income, plus you have all these extra expenses associated with the child. We would struggle to manage on my boyfriend's current income, and that's without even considering the additional costs of having a child. His $50k income is actually fairly average, so if we couldn't manage on that then guys who earn well below average have no chance of supporting a family, and it would be kind of pointless to even date them. I once dated a guy who earned $25k, and his inability to support a family (and lack of future prospects for doing so) was one of the reasons I broke up with him.

Realistically, a guy needs to earn about $50k to support a family, if the woman works part-time for extra cash - if the woman doesn't work then he probably needs to earn more like $60-70k. Even then, the family wouldn't be well off and might struggle to make ends meet - $100k would provide a comfortable lifestyle for a family with a non-working mom, so I don't think the woman in the OP is really asking for a lot.

January 28, 2011

100,000 is actually a lot less than two 50,000 incomes, because you'd pay more tax.

At a federal level, I don't believe this is true if you support a spouse that does not work (one of the main questions on all W4 forms). Not sure on states, because they're all different. But, yes, you're right in general. Once you add kids to the mix with that, you get significant tax breaks as well, but that's beside the point.

January 28, 2011

100,000 is actually a lot less than two 50,000 incomes, because you'd pay more tax. My bf and I currently bring in roughly that much money between us (before tax) and we only have an average lifestyle.

I know what you're saying, but $100000 as a household income (before tax) in the US puts you in the top quintile (2009 figures).

Median US household income for 2009 is a shade under $50000.

EDIT:

To keep this on topic, the woman looking for a man to earn at least $100000 is ruling out 96.6% of US males aged 15 and above. (2009 figures again.)

Source: http://www.census.gov/hhes/www/income/data/incpovhlth/2009/dtables.html

Edited January 28, 2011 by oaks

January 28, 2011

I don't really see a problem.. she can ask for whatever she wants..

I find it ironic that financial matters are so 'taboo'... we have no problems asking for specific body features.. specific qualities...etc. why not our financial preference???

Precisely. I find it very amusing how a guy saying, "I want a girl with C-cups" or "I want a girl who weighs less than 140 lbs" is all good and fine, but a woman saying, "I want a guy who makes $____" deserves to be called all manner of bad things.

I don't see how one is ANY less superficial than the other, sorry.

January 28, 2011

EDIT: To keep this on topic, the woman looking for a man to earn at least $100000 is ruling out 96.6% of US males aged 15 and above. (2009 figures again.)

Why look at the 15 and up figures? Presumably, the women is too old for 15 year old boys!

Change that figure to 25+ and college educated, and you jump to 25% of the population. (Median there being 80K and median being 62K.) Which matches up better with what I find in my dating life. I don't think it's difficult to find a guy who makes over 100,000K if you're an educated woman, looking for a LTR, with some quality to you. I don't look for them, and I seem to trip over them all the time. I don't think her chances are all that bad, if that's what you mean there.

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Seriously!? She's looking for someone making $100,000 -$150,000 on Match.com.

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