U1987 Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 So I went out with that girl I was talking about; the who was interested in me when she was a minor but now she's legal (she's 20 now). We went for coffee and then to a small art gallery. Twice, she "Player-Tested" or "Player-Trapped" me. When we were having coffee, we were talking about traveling. I was talking about my trip to Southeast Asia, and she said, "Wow... I bet you met a lot of girls, huh?." I was stunned really. I was silent for a few seconds because I really didn't know how to answer. She started goading me, saying "Yeah you did, didn't you?" The thing is, I've only had 2 one night stands in my whole life. One of them was with an Australian tourist from a nightclub. I didn't want to say I did have a one night stand because I was afraid that would make me sound sleazy, but I didn't want to say I didn't meet any girls because I was afraid that would make me sound inexperienced and a loser. The best answer I could think was "I'm not saying I did or didn't. All I'm saying is, you know... things happen when you're on vacation." Later on in the night, after we left the gallery and I was about to drive her home, I tried to make some small talk to build up for the kiss and I went in. I was really restrained and didn't try to makeout hard or anything, but she stopped me and told me that she actually had a girlfriend. I told her I was okay with that because I've had a lot of gay and bisexual friends. On the way home, she talked about her bisexual relationships, coming out to her parents, but said that her relationship is somewhat on the rocks and might end soon. She said that if she breaks up with her GF, that she would want us to date. I got her home, I kissed her again but didn't push for the makeout. That's when she "trapped/tested" me again. She said "You're a really good kisser. I bet you've had a lot of practice." Once again, I was totally stunned and didn't know how to answer. Like I said, I didn't want to say "yes" and sound like a sleaze but I didn't want to say "no" and sound like a loser. The best I could think of was "To be honest, it's been a little while, buuuut... I don't get rusty," but I don't think that was the correct way to respond. This isn't the first time I've been "Player-trapped" or "Player-tested." A lot of young girls do this. What's the best way to respond when girls ask you these types of questions?
Jynxx Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 When we were having coffee, we were talking about traveling. I was talking about my trip to Southeast Asia, and she said, "Wow... I bet you met a lot of girls, huh?." Yeah, tons of girls and they all put out immediately. So gives you something to live up to. The thing is, I've only had 2 one night stands in my whole life. One of them was with an Australian tourist from a nightclub. I didn't want to say I did have a one night stand because I was afraid that would make me sound sleazy, but I didn't want to say I didn't meet any girls because I was afraid that would make me sound inexperienced and a loser. The best answer I could think was "I'm not saying I did or didn't. All I'm saying is, you know... things happen when you're on vacation." F graded answer. She will think you have something to hide. Later on in the night, after we left the gallery and I was about to drive her home, I tried to make some small talk to build up for the kiss and I went in. I was really restrained and didn't try to makeout hard or anything, but she stopped me and told me that she actually had a girlfriend. Think you forgot this one. I won't tell her. (kiss her again) I told her I was okay with that because I've had a lot of gay and bisexual friends. D-grade answer I got her home, I kissed her again but didn't push for the makeout. That's when she "trapped/tested" me again. She said "You're a really good kisser. I bet you've had a lot of practice." Lady, you can't even begin to imagine how much practice I had in my life. Once again, I was totally stunned and didn't know how to answer. Like I said, I didn't want to say "yes" and sound like a sleaze but I didn't want to say "no" and sound like a loser. The best I could think of was "To be honest, it's been a little while, buuuut... I don't get rusty," but I don't think that was the correct way to respond. B- answer
Crimson and Clover Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Whaaaaat? Your english seems pretty good so idk why she said "I bet you met a lot of girls" and you heard "Did you have a hundred one night stands?" 1. Smile and say "Nobody like you" or "Nobody special" or just simply "One or two." 2. Keep kissing and just say "It comes natural, kissing you," or, idk, "It's like riding a bicycle." Actually the first half of what you said, "To be honest it's been a little while," is great by itself because it shows her she's different/special and it's humble and it's honest, but the rusty part was kind of lame. I don't think she was actually setting traps for you but the way you stumbled around suspicious of every opportunity she gave you to make her feel special might have set some alarm bells off.
Crimson and Clover Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Yeah, tons of girls and they all put out immediately. So gives you something to live up to. F graded answer. She will think you have something to hide. Think you forgot this one. I won't tell her. (kiss her again) D-grade answer Lady, you can't even begin to imagine how much practice I had in my life. B- answer Everything said here would turn me off immediately. A gentleman never tells. I would be cool with that. To a point. If that became the answer to everything, it would get annoying really quick and make it seem like he had something to hide.
Author U1987 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 Whaaaaat? Your english seems pretty good so idk why she said "I bet you met a lot of girls" and you heard "Did you have a hundred one night stands?" You know how girls speak in code.
IrishCarBomb Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 I didn't want to say I didn't meet any girls because I was afraid that would make me sound inexperienced and a loser. You've missed the obvious: she doesn't ask the question at all if either of the above are true.
Jynxx Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 You all miss the point. These type of questions are known as "****-tests" and are asked to see how much **** you're willing to take from her and if you will allow her to put you in an uncomfortable spot. She'll try for a moment to gain the upper hand in the conversation and if you put your tail between your legs then that is all the information she needs. In other words, if you fail, she will not see you as an equal. The easiest way not to fail is to have a witty/ironic/sarcastic answer.
PegNosePete Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 You all miss the point. These type of questions are known as "****-tests" and are asked to see how much **** you're willing to take from her and if you will allow her to put you in an uncomfortable spot. She'll try for a moment to gain the upper hand in the conversation and if you put your tail between your legs then that is all the information she needs. In other words, if you fail, she will not see you as an equal. The easiest way not to fail is to have a witty/ironic/sarcastic answer. Agreed! Yes they are textbook sh*t-tests.
Andy_K Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 The trouble with witty/ironic/sarcastic answers is that quite often, as is clear by Crimson's response, they'll make you look like a bit of a dick. But I do agree with the idea that you don't want to supplicate here. You could turn a few of them around instead of talking about yourself, maybe something more along the lines of "You're a really good kisser. I bet you've had a lot of practice." "Thanks... so how many different guys are you comparing me to, to know that?"
PegNosePete Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 The trouble with witty/ironic/sarcastic answers is that quite often, as is clear by Crimson's response, they'll make you look like a bit of a dick. I knew someone would say that. Crimson isn't the type to do a sh*t test in the first place so her response is not typical of the type of person who asks these questions. If you get what I mean
Author U1987 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 You've missed the obvious: she doesn't ask the question at all if either of the above are true. Huh? I don't understand what you mean
dispatch3d Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 hahaha my answer to the first question would have been a moderate amount of girls (like seriously wtf)? The second one I would have complimented her back, yeah you're a good kisser too! And ignored the comment about "lots of practice". Hey, I do what I do hahaha besides why explain yourself.
Crimson and Clover Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 (edited) I knew someone would say that. Crimson isn't the type to do a sh*t test in the first place so her response is not typical of the type of person who asks these questions. If you get what I mean Well, thanks? But I'm not sure what you mean by sh*t test, it kind of sounds like you guys are all reading from the same PUA material. All I can tell you is that when I was younger like just out of HS I might have said something similar to "I bet you met a lot of girls" and it would have just been because I was used to hearing that kind of cheesy dialogue in movies and because I was feeling a little insecure and giving him an opportunity to make me feel special, like he was choosing me. Edited January 28, 2011 by Crimson and Clover
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Guys: Just because a lot of the more insecure among you are buying into all the PUA stuff, don't assume that girls are participating. They aren't. Jynxx: You all miss the point. These type of questions are known as "****-tests" and are asked to see how much **** you're willing to take from her and if you will allow her to put you in an uncomfortable spot. She'll try for a moment to gain the upper hand in the conversation and if you put your tail between your legs then that is all the information she needs. In other words, if you fail, she will not see you as an equal. The easiest way not to fail is to have a witty/ironic/sarcastic answer. More likely, as Depplover said, she was just an annoying girl. Sounds like insecure and immature chatter to me. Not like some kind of Machiavellian test. Jeez.
sumdude Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Guys: Just because a lot of the more insecure among you are buying into all the PUA stuff, don't assume that girls are participating. They aren't. Jynxx: More likely, as Depplover said, she was just an annoying girl. Sounds like insecure and immature chatter to me. Not like some kind of Machiavellian test. Jeez. She's only 20, what would you expect?
carhill Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Probably some sacrifices were made along the way due to her greatly accelerated intellectual and educational successes. So, OP, if you like this young lady and would like to kiss her again, ask her out on a date Analyze less, press flesh more....
IrishCarBomb Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Huh? I don't understand what you mean If she thinks you are: 1) inexperienced, or 2) a loser she would not ask if you meet lots of girls. She asks because she already suspects that you might meet lots of girls. To her, your answer could demonstrate: 1) you actually meet lots of girls, 2) you want her to think you meet lots of girls, or 3) be inconclusive. I'm not her, but as an unbiased observer, when you said: "you know... things happen when you're on vacation," it seems like your answer was #2.
Citizen Erased Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 She's insecure. And a mess. But I'm guessing she's hot otherwise nobody would put up with her crazy.
fishtaco Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Dude, it's not a big deal. It's better to be thought of as having lots of options, and one wrong move on her side and you're outta there with another woman, than a guy that she could lay in bed naked with and you would never cross the line because you are "safe". When I get stuff like this thrown at me, I just smirk and agree. I try to make my answer entertaining by coming up with some joke, but my bottom line attitude is, when I'm single, I do what single guys do. Plus having lots of options just means your perceived dating value is higher. Whether that's true or not makes no difference. At this early stage in dating, it's ALL about perception and your ability to sell yourself. You can be the hot player that she's able to tame because she's so awesome and worthy and better than all the other women. So here's one angle you can use, when applicable. Don't be afraid to be "dangerous". Saints are boring.
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