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How Do I Get Over This Heartache?

FML903

By FML903
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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FML903 New Member

FML903

Posted
Posted (edited)

So im not a big fan of the whole internet blogger thing but i really need advice on how i get over this breakup because it's hurting all the time.

 

So i was going out with this guy (who was the first boyfriend) for about a year. In that year i was having a really hard time with other things and he was pretty much my rock but between that year we broke up for a while (as in a week) because things werent working out and then we got back together but kept it quiet. After a month or so i was going to make it a-okay, we're together and we're happy. At least that was my impression.

 

But then i dont know he was just moody, always upset with me and i pretty much couldnt do anything right. I'm certainly not the type of girl who just does what guys want, i have my own standards and pretty much do things that i am comfortable with. Anyway, he wanted to have a tallk.. in other words, want to break up with you but try and be nice about it so i wont look like the bad guy here. So the reason of this breaking up went down to this... "I dont like the way we've become, i think its unfair that i am treating you like this and its for the best if we are just be good friends" .. so it wasnt a bad break up but it wasnt good either right. Well lucky he did this before holidys so i had time to try and get over him...but obviously its not working.

 

Get this, all holidays didnt speak to me nor see me and if i spoke to him i was left with the impression that he hated my guts and just wanted me to piss off. However because he is friends with my friends and im friends with his the group of us went out. he at first didnt talk to me which was to be expected but then later on at the end of the night he was all.. i miss you, i still love you.. so left me f***ing confused to the max.

 

I saw him later and i pretty much followed my brain... i said i dont think it would work considering the same thing is happening, he's really upsetted me and i dont want to put myself through that again AND if he really loves me or whatever.. he would of called me on the holidays. And we left it at that, he was really nice about it and it seemed everything was better we were talking, joking around, he was being my rock again and it was good.

 

Days later, he acts as if that day out with friends never happened, and the time we were together meant jack**** to him. So I'm back to square one, lonely, upset and always thinking "wat if i did this"... did i do the right thing? How am i going to get over this? Believe me i am trying to get over him but it is soo hard. Please Help.

 

Thanks.

Edited by FML903
anthony jensen New Member

anthony jensen

Posted
Posted

I think he just wants what he cant have, and im sure if you show him any interest back he will be gone again.

Hacker Member

Hacker

Posted
Posted
So im not a big fan of the whole internet blogger thing but i really need advice on how i get over this breakup because it's hurting all the time.

 

So i was going out with this guy (who was the first boyfriend) for about a year. In that year i was having a really hard time with other things and he was pretty much my rock but between that year we broke up for a while (as in a week) because things werent working out and then we got back together but kept it quiet. After a month or so i was going to make it a-okay, we're together and we're happy. At least that was my impression.

 

But then i dont know he was just moody, always upset with me and i pretty much couldnt do anything right. I'm certainly not the type of girl who just does what guys want, i have my own standards and pretty much do things that i am comfortable with. Anyway, he wanted to have a tallk.. in other words, want to break up with you but try and be nice about it so i wont look like the bad guy here. So the reason of this breaking up went down to this... "I dont like the way we've become, i think its unfair that i am treating you like this and its for the best if we are just be good friends" .. so it wasnt a bad break up but it wasnt good either right. Well lucky he did this before holidys so i had time to try and get over him...but obviously its not working.

 

Get this, all holidays didnt speak to me nor see me and if i spoke to him i was left with the impression that he hated my guts and just wanted me to piss off. However because he is friends with my friends and im friends with his the group of us went out. he at first didnt talk to me which was to be expected but then later on at the end of the night he was all.. i miss you, i still love you.. so left me f***ing confused to the max.

 

I saw him later and i pretty much followed my brain... i said i dont think it would work considering the same thing is happening, he's really upsetted me and i dont want to put myself through that again AND if he really loves me or whatever.. he would of called me on the holidays. And we left it at that, he was really nice about it and it seemed everything was better we were talking, joking around, he was being my rock again and it was good.

 

Days later, he acts as if that day out with friends never happened, and the time we were together meant jack**** to him. So I'm back to square one, lonely, upset and always thinking "wat if i did this"... did i do the right thing? How am i going to get over this? Believe me i am trying to get over him but it is soo hard. Please Help.

 

Thanks.

 

 

I know exactly what you are going through. I am in the same situation but I was with her for 7 years. It's been 2 weeks now and I still live with her because we still have to finalise arrangements. And get this, I have to watch our daughter (like tonight) when she goes out on date with other guy from work that she left me for. So I am not only hurt, but tormented on a daily basis...

olia New Member

olia

Posted
Posted

HI

 

This is like my story . I am divorced 29 and then I was in relationship with this guy for almost an year . He was also divorced. We met and we fell for each other. He was the one who was more in to me initially. With time he changed and finally dumped me in Nov 2010 reason being nothing. What I feel is he fell out of love or maybe he was never in love. He travels a lot so its kind of hard to apply my tactics on him. Its been two months now and I cant get him out of my head. I have read millions of blogs , self improvement sites, tried to improve myself which I have done but one thing does not leave my mind and that is him.

 

What I feel is that if a person loves you two months are enough to know if he will come back or misses you or not. I wanted to apply no contact rule but always get worried that if I will not pick up his calls this will hurt his ego and he might never call me again. But in all cases I have any way lost him. So I am still confused and not sure what to do but for how long I will hurt myself by thinking about someone who does not even care. It amazing to see how men are so strong I really envy them. I live in a country where you cannot have social life like clubbing and all so it becomes even harder. I think you need to stay positive that love will come again I totally myself cant seem to understand that but I m trying. My heart aches too but I am trying to hold myself. If I cant save the relationship at least I can save my self esteem.

 

Good luck

 

So im not a big fan of the whole internet blogger thing but i really need advice on how i get over this breakup because it's hurting all the time.

 

So i was going out with this guy (who was the first boyfriend) for about a year. In that year i was having a really hard time with other things and he was pretty much my rock but between that year we broke up for a while (as in a week) because things werent working out and then we got back together but kept it quiet. After a month or so i was going to make it a-okay, we're together and we're happy. At least that was my impression.

 

But then i dont know he was just moody, always upset with me and i pretty much couldnt do anything right. I'm certainly not the type of girl who just does what guys want, i have my own standards and pretty much do things that i am comfortable with. Anyway, he wanted to have a tallk.. in other words, want to break up with you but try and be nice about it so i wont look like the bad guy here. So the reason of this breaking up went down to this... "I dont like the way we've become, i think its unfair that i am treating you like this and its for the best if we are just be good friends" .. so it wasnt a bad break up but it wasnt good either right. Well lucky he did this before holidys so i had time to try and get over him...but obviously its not working.

 

Get this, all holidays didnt speak to me nor see me and if i spoke to him i was left with the impression that he hated my guts and just wanted me to piss off. However because he is friends with my friends and im friends with his the group of us went out. he at first didnt talk to me which was to be expected but then later on at the end of the night he was all.. i miss you, i still love you.. so left me f***ing confused to the max.

 

I saw him later and i pretty much followed my brain... i said i dont think it would work considering the same thing is happening, he's really upsetted me and i dont want to put myself through that again AND if he really loves me or whatever.. he would of called me on the holidays. And we left it at that, he was really nice about it and it seemed everything was better we were talking, joking around, he was being my rock again and it was good.

 

Days later, he acts as if that day out with friends never happened, and the time we were together meant jack**** to him. So I'm back to square one, lonely, upset and always thinking "wat if i did this"... did i do the right thing? How am i going to get over this? Believe me i am trying to get over him but it is soo hard. Please Help.

 

Thanks.

  • Author
FML903 New Member

FML903

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I think he just wants what he cant have, and im sure if you show him any interest back he will be gone again.

 

I think i have learnt not to give any interest back.. but it just hurts so much after what he did and how he acts like "nothing" ever happened :/ and hard how the situation is just so ****. Thanks for the comment though lol :)

  • Author
FML903 New Member

FML903

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I know exactly what you are going through. I am in the same situation but I was with her for 7 years. It's been 2 weeks now and I still live with her because we still have to finalise arrangements. And get this, I have to watch our daughter (like tonight) when she goes out on date with other guy from work that she left me for. So I am not only hurt, but tormented on a daily basis...

 

Finally someone does know what i'm going through and knows how much the feeling sucks. i hope things get better for you. i wish i had the answers for all of this but dont we all? i hope time can hurry up!

  • Author
FML903 New Member

FML903

Posted
  • Author
Posted
HI

 

This is like my story . I am divorced 29 and then I was in relationship with this guy for almost an year . He was also divorced. We met and we fell for each other. He was the one who was more in to me initially. With time he changed and finally dumped me in Nov 2010 reason being nothing. What I feel is he fell out of love or maybe he was never in love. He travels a lot so its kind of hard to apply my tactics on him. Its been two months now and I cant get him out of my head. I have read millions of blogs , self improvement sites, tried to improve myself which I have done but one thing does not leave my mind and that is him.

 

What I feel is that if a person loves you two months are enough to know if he will come back or misses you or not. I wanted to apply no contact rule but always get worried that if I will not pick up his calls this will hurt his ego and he might never call me again. But in all cases I have any way lost him. So I am still confused and not sure what to do but for how long I will hurt myself by thinking about someone who does not even care. It amazing to see how men are so strong I really envy them. I live in a country where you cannot have social life like clubbing and all so it becomes even harder. I think you need to stay positive that love will come again I totally myself cant seem to understand that but I m trying. My heart aches too but I am trying to hold myself. If I cant save the relationship at least I can save my self esteem.

 

Good luck

 

yeah i dont know how guys do it but they can certainly hide their feelings well and certainly make girls feel so bad about themselves. I know not to go back with him until he has somewhat matured but it still hurts. i know exactly what you mean and i do try to do on what you do like being positive and all that... but it certainly makes it harder when your friends with his and your friends are friends with him. :/ Good luck and thank you for the post

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