Bheartedgirl Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Hi.. i know everyone is going to say move on, and i know i should and it would be better for me but i just cant. and i cant explain why not... all i know is that it was love at first sight as corny as that sounds lol.. before u say anything we are both girls and are 5 1/2 years apart.. shes 19 now and im 24.. well anyway ill tell u the background story.. we were together for almost 2 years. the first time she was 15.. and obviously that didnt work out.. she cheated and didnt tell me..but things got bad when she got back together with her ex before me, (and told me this on my bday). and became emo and smoked drank, etc became a bitch.. and her family wanted her out coz of all the ****.. i was there for her thro that even tho i hated her. that was for 5 months. then about 11 months later we got back together. i had a fulltime job, a group of friends and she was still at school. she found out that one of her friends backstabbed her and then she ditched her friendship and made me not talk to her anymore (i worked with her).. pretty quickly her friends ditched her.. and she didnt have anyone except me.. her family had given up on her and wanted her out.. and i was the only one there.. i spoke to her mum and eventually got all of that back of track.. but then my work and my talking to certain people got in the way, and she became clingy and jealous and made me quit my job and quit talking to anyone but her.. (stupid i know).. so i did that, but it got too much for me i wanted to talk to other people, i wanted to have friends... well some how she found out that i was talking to these people, and started snooping on my email and on my facebook.. i convinced her that it was nothing that i just wanted to talk to other people... and these were people she didnt like. but from this moment the trust was gone from both sides.. it went downhill from there, i resented her for making me alienated from everyone.. but i loved her and no matter how much i hated her sometimes i still loved her and i would never have left... she used to write me letter saying always and forever, and she wouldnt be ok without me, and that she will never leave and could never let go... so we started having fights about stupid things, and eventually it got to much and she left... she broke it off by a TEXT msg and then wouldnt talk to me about it... she ignored me. i did all the bad things, begging, pleading, even ended up in and overdose in hospital.. all she said was "i cant be there for you anymore." when i ask if she will talk to me again she says " not for now.. i dont know what will happen in the future so thats why i say not for now and i dont think it will change." shes also said things like "i need time and space.. when i feel something ill tell you." so i left it 2 weeks.. sent her a new years msg.. all i got was "im out cant talk" then left it another 3 weeks and my brother messages her asking if she will ever talk to me again and she says " i dont. i dont want to talk and i dont want to be friends. she knows this. i have moved on and she needs to as well." what happened to not for now...? i was there for her thro everything thro her friends ditching her, her family hating her.. im the one that got them back on track and never left her even when i hated her.. how can i mean nothing? i want her back
2010_Sorry Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Bheartedgirl, I also made mistakes, huge ones, in my previous relationship. The one thing that I learned is that once we recognize the errors of our ways, that we look backward to try to correct the wrong, rather than look inward to correct the behavior in the future. Dont confuse the the desire to "make it right" with the need to "make you right". Good luck!
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