I cant take it any longer :(

[jessy1]

I did a dumb thing today

 

I looked at his facebook site. I saw a million messages from her about how in love they are and how much she loves him. It broke my heart and almost made me vomit from pain.

Its is over bearing pain and I dont understand why someone who I was so dam close to could do this to me. My heart aches so bad and I can barely see the screen as I type this message as I am crying so much

 

I loved this boy. We were unnofficial but were inseperable. He would call and txt everyday for months. Cuddle and kiss non stop. He would tell me I am the only girl for him and he has never been so close to anyone and doesn't want to lose me. He even sent me a we card saying he loved me . He told our mates and his brother we were together and everyone called us a couple. I loved him and thought he did back .

 

But then he went away for two weeks. He called me and asked me to come up but I couldnt as I couldnt get out of work. For the follwing week his messages were a bit limited as to what they usually were but still very cute and sweet. I just thought it was because he was busy on holiday.

Anyway he comes back and tells all our mutual friends he now has a new gf. He tells them how in love he is with this girl and he has never been so happy. One of our friends breaks it to me and I have never been so upset and shocked.

 

I just cant understand how someone could do this!!!?! She must have been around while he was still with me (unnofficially). He has never said one word to me about it except approached me once and said 'i love my life i am soooo happy right now'.

 

The only red flag I got was a few weeks ago where he took me out for dinner one night (all his idea) then invited himself over to my place (again all his idea). He then wouldnt leave me alone and keep kissing and hugging me. However all of a sudden he got up and left and saying he was tired. He then sent a strange message saying. 'look at how we are . you are such an amazing girl, I love cuddles with you. I am really scared I will hurt you as you are such amazing girl'.

Alarm bells rang in my head but after that everything was just as normal. The next day he would continue to kiss and cuddle me and txt non-stop. Everything remained normal until he left.

 

Anyway how do I cope?. We don't talk at all anymore but I have to see him every dam day. We have the same friends. I cry everyday and am misrable. I put on a brave face round him only to crumble when I get home. I dont understand how someone could do this. My bestfriend was also in an unnofficial realtionship and the guy broke it off with her atleast before seeing someone else. I don't understand how he could be so inlove after being with this girl for like two weeks. Must have meant he was seeing her while seeing me.

 

I am SOOOOOO heartbroken that I dont know what to do. I am crying my eyes out and my hands are shaking. Please help me

[You Go Girl]

He will probably do it to the next one too, Jessy. And then finally, one day, it will come back to haunt him.

 

You had a person who wasn't sharing all of themself. He was keeping part of himself secret from you.

You need to guard against that in the future. You need to tune in to intimacy, and see where people are avoidant, because that's where the secrets are. It wasn't true intimacy, and the reason you didn't know was because you probably were so busy pleasing him and not paying attention to whether he was sharing all his heart and important thoughts with you.

 

Your self-worth, your value, your self-esteem, CANNOT ride on his approval and wanting you.

I know this is a difficult concept when you are heartbroken. But as much as you love him, remember you are your own person. You lived years without even knowing him, smiling, laughing, and being yourself.

[Bateman]

delete from facebook...It has become my worst enemy and from the looks of it, yours too. I am deleting my ex very soon.

[jessy1]

Thankyou I deleted him from my facebook but his dam profile is public and I just cant resist looking. Its actually like an addiction! Its insane!

 

I have had some new news today which made everything worse Today I came into work and a girl took me aside. She then told me my ex (if you can even say that) had been seeing her and others at the same time. She showed me evidence (messages he had sent her) and they were almost identical to the ones he send me.

I had heard a few rumours but seeing the evidence in writting crushed me.

 

Futher more he came into work and told everyone he is sooooooooo in love with this new gf and he is now ready to settle down bla bla.

I have never been so crushed.

Everything was a lie. I feel in love with someone who probably doesnt even exsist I am so hurt. How do I cope with this? That he never really felt for me.

I am honestly really struggling right now.

[SDA]

Thankyou I deleted him from my facebook but his dam profile is public and I just cant resist looking. Its actually like an addiction! Its insane!

 

I have had some new news today which made everything worse Today I came into work and a girl took me aside. She then told me my ex (if you can even say that) had been seeing her and others at the same time. She showed me evidence (messages he had sent her) and they were almost identical to the ones he send me.

I had heard a few rumours but seeing the evidence in writting crushed me.

 

Futher more he came into work and told everyone he is sooooooooo in love with this new gf and he is now ready to settle down bla bla.

I have never been so crushed.

Everything was a lie. I feel in love with someone who probably doesnt even exsist I am so hurt. How do I cope with this? That he never really felt for me.

I am honestly really struggling right now.

 

You have to be pissed off right? Use that anger towards your recovery. You never loved him you only loved the thought of him. His reality is far from what you perceived him to be.

 

He did it to you and he's already doing it to others. Be a bigger person and stay away from this guy and prove to yourself that you are better off than being with someone like him.

[jquest1280]

I deleted him from my facebook but his dam profile is public and I just cant resist looking. Its actually like an addiction! Its insane!

 

I have had some new news today which made everything worse Today I came into work and a girl took me aside. She then told me my ex (if you can even say that) had been seeing her and others at the same time. She showed me evidence (messages he had sent her) and they were almost identical to the ones he send me.

I had heard a few rumours but seeing the evidence in writting crushed me.

 

 

Jessy1, it IS an addiction. And to cure it, you must stop looking at FB. Try it and observe your how your feelings change. Based on all our experiences, those feelings will recede.

 

So he was not honest with you...he was a jerk...all the better reason to put him out of your mind.

 

Continue doing what you do. Keep going to work. Put on the brave face, and crumble when you get home. I did that too! Cry, let it out, that's ok. It will pass. Just keep going.