Riversong Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 (edited) In my opinion, is not the one for him, ok I am biased, lol. But any feedback positive or negative would be appreciated. I need to move on and I'm hoping this forum will help with that, I wish I had found it sooner. oops typo in the heading! I can only write about what I know, I'm sorry its long but please bear with me. My 48 year old ex bf of 3 years cheated on me a year ago, I know its a long time ago. He went to private school, was very polite, watched his language. Started to keep fit after he moved to be closer to me and his son who lived with his first wife. He was very sensible. His family are, how do I say this, well to do. His tastes were like mine. So Iam comparing his ex wife (his age) myself (early 40's) and his new gf who he cheated on me (late 30's). I would like to know if you think this was a case of Gigs? if I was merely a rebound? if he was wanting to get some of his youth back? Ex wife 1. He told me he was annoyed at her being hugely in debt and that she couldn't help to pay the bills which put him under a huge financial strain. 2. His ex wife didn't do housework, she wouldn't cook and when she did it wasn't good and he felt used. 3. Ex bf hated tatoos on a woman or so he said (no offence intended to anyone who has any), she had none 4. She got on well with his son from a previous marriage. But his family weren't keen on her. She had a son around his sons age. 5. Not sensible which annoyed him. 6. No interest in exercise. 7. She moved in with him after 1 year ldr. 8. Humour - no idea Me 1. I have a good job with a good salary, no debts, always paid 50/50 and could afford some luxuries. 2. I enjoyed cooking for us both and am quite a good cook and also was house proud. 3. No tatoos 4. Was thanked by his family for being there for him when I met them and was invited to their home for a holiday. I got on ok with his son and respected his family. I have a son around his sons age. 5. A month before the break up he told me one of the things he loved about me was that I was sensible and level headed. Maybe I was too sensible?? 6. We went running together and I attended some races he did for support. 7. I never moved in with him, we had 20 months ldr. Then I helped him find a place near where I lived but I kept my own place as I felt with children involved you had to be sure it was right. 8. Humour with certain things, but in one particular prog he enjoyed, I enjoyed and his son enjoyed. New gf 1. She was in a good full time job but after a month of moving in, said online she hated deskwork and wanted a change of career and so she left her job and got a job working 2 days a week doing what she liked but it didnt pay well. She also said after visiting her lawyer she was officially skint (no money) and she didn't know how she would manage financially. Now she has just started a temporary full time job, yes deskwork. I think he told her she had to for financial reasons but she wrote she was not happy at giving up the best part time job in the world. 2. She says after she moved in she was initially very tidy but then relaxed and bf did most of the chores and 99% of the cooking (he was a good cook and enjoyed it) 3. Her back is one large tatoo and she had 3 others. 4. He went to see his family (its a long flight) 3 months ago, he went with his son but she didn't go. Then 2 months ago she wrote on a forum some nasty things about his son and his first ex wife, this was removed with a statement that she wouldn't be on the forum for a while for personal reason, I expect he read it too! She also wrote she wanted a child but it wouldn't be right due to their ages, she has no children. 5. She wrote online he is sensible and she isn't. 6. She has no interest in exercise (until she went up 2 dress sizes since moving in with him) and she hasn't supported him racing from what Ive read as she was busy online at home at the time. 7. She moved in after 4 months (honeymoon period?) 8. She hates, hates, hates the programme I mentioned and leaves the room ehan its on. I can only comment on what I know. The last text I received when he was 2 months into his relationshipo with her said this - I care foe you as someone I once love and who loved me but I have no feelings for a relationship with you, I mean you no harm, you were very good to me and I'm sorry it didn't work out. I want to add we had no big arguments and intimacy was still there. I should add that the ex wife I mentioned was a 5 year relationship. He was married twice. He had a son with his first wife and he left her when she was pregnant 14 years ago, I know its not good.... His reasons for the break up, we didn't have the same sense of humour, he didn't enjoy New Year (himself, his son who he had one weekend every two weeks, my son who I looked after 4 nights a week, me) and communication and I know that may have been a problem as a few months prior to our break up I was suffering from stress, and wasn't my best, the recession affected my work and although it was ok. ( now I have lots of work) I was worried and ended up overnight in hospital with a racing heart (he took me to the hospital) that was 2 weeks before he ended it by phone, he couldn't even look me in the eye. I hope that made some sense. So any thoughts would be appreciated. I am stupid I know, as deep down I'm thinking he will realise he has made a big mistake and want me back. I know I should move on, I'm trying...... Edited January 27, 2011 by Riversong typo
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