Lovelybird Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I wonder how do you keep opposite sex friend? I find it is difficult though. For example, a young man (10 years younger than me) likes to hang around with me. I don't dislike him, nor like him, but I think he likes me, not in a pure "like" way, maybe more dependant on me for something he feels he lacks. What do you think? Should I shouldn't I keep him as a friend? Maybe sometimes men just like to make friends and no other motives?
Clep Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 In my over forty years I have found two men that want to be just friends out of all the men I have met. I would say the chances are quite slim.
depplover_1980 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I have tonnes of male friends and have gone on to be good friends with their partners too, so it is possible if you have similar interests. But the fact you neither like,nor dislike him made me think 'why have a friend you feel nothing for?' This is your answer really!
zengirl Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I wonder how do you keep opposite sex friend? You treat them just like any other friend. You treat people like people. If you have common interests, and don't see every man for just their romantic potential, it's really not difficult. At least not for me. For example, a young man (10 years younger than me) likes to hang around with me. I don't dislike him, nor like him, but I think he likes me, not in a pure "like" way, maybe more dependant on me for something he feels he lacks. That sounds unhealthy. And why hang out with a guy you don't like (as a friend, I mean). My friends -- male and female -- are all people I think are fun. And many are people I also think have other good qualities.
Author Lovelybird Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 But the fact you neither like,nor dislike him made me think 'why have a friend you feel nothing for?' This is your answer really! Good question. I need to think about it You treat them just like any other friend. You treat people like people. If you have common interests, and don't see every man for just their romantic potential, it's really not difficult. At least not for me. That sounds unhealthy. And why hang out with a guy you don't like (as a friend, I mean). My friends -- male and female -- are all people I think are fun. And many are people I also think have other good qualities. I haven't met any man who doesn't have extra motives, maybe just one, he is more decent and open kind of guy ... anyway the another guy I am talking about is my classmate. I feel good to chat, no further
Leigh 87 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 If you are average or unnatractive, people of the opposite sex are more likely to want to be friends with you. I think it would only be hard if the guy or girl, was very attractive, and people would find it hard to hang around with a person who quiet attractive, and also think is a cool person - People tend to want to be sexual with guys or girls, who are attractive and also have good personalities; so if you are two people who are attractive, who are attracted highly to each other, and also get along very well and enjoy being around one another - why would they not want to be together, sexually, or emotionally, in some sor tof sexual relationship. People usually seek people they find attractive, and who they also like as people, to have a relationship with, or a casual thing with. The esceptions would be, if both people were happily in relationships, and were satisfied enough in their relationships to genuinly get something out of being friends with one another.
StalledGirl Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I wonder how do you keep opposite sex friend? I find it is difficult though. For example, a young man (10 years younger than me) likes to hang around with me. I don't dislike him, nor like him, but I think he likes me, not in a pure "like" way, maybe more dependant on me for something he feels he lacks. If you find such a "friendship" difficult , how can you call him a friend? A friend shouldn't make you feel self conscious or paranoid. Unless it's for some sort of ego boost or misplaced kindness , I don't know why you are debating keeping him in your life. I think opposite sex friendships are hard as one side usually fancies the other.
Author Lovelybird Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 Do you mean that I should feel safe being a friend as long as he doesn't bring up anything romantic? why I keep him as a friend? because everyone needs friend? I do become paranoid if I feel people want to rely on me and I don't want the person does that.
dispatch3d Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 I have girls I am friends with. However, they are starting to do weird things. Which is obviously causing some problems. But meh, I don't know, I just am friends with them and don't think about it? And the "some problems" aren't anything major.... Just like, doing stuff that makes me think they (may) want more. Or prehaps they are just more comfortable with me. Hard to say, waste of time to think about.
carhill Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Having had platonic female friends, female friends I wanted to bang but was in the friendzone, girlfriends and a wife for ten years, unless you and this man share common interests, like sports, politics, religion, art, whatever, he's just 'hanging around' to potentially bang you. Sorry if that's blunt, but I've done it and understand it from a man's POV. IME, friendships evolve over time. If he shares a common interest, never hurts to invite him to join a group sharing that interest. Great way to make friends.
Recommended Posts