Butterflying Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 You're on a five day vacation in Hawaii with someone you've been dating for a month. You're still in that honeymoon phase of the relationship anyway. So why not take a "honeymoon" type trip together since you both have the time and monetary means to do it? Every day is planned full of events to share together like parties, shows, beach sports, ect. Also, each day has some "alone" time for each of you to spend doing whatever you want by yourself (texting friends, emailing, reading, writing, off shore work related task). Regardless, your date spends practically every single moment with their iPhone texting and emailing friends. These are moments like when you depart for the trip. Your date text someone that the plane is taking off. When you land in Hawaii, your date text someone that you just arrived, then proceeds to text, every moment, every day, throughout the entire trip begining from the time you wake up until you fall asleep. Sex during this vacation is limited because when you wake up, instead of cuddling in your dates arms, you're surprised to find them already awake, sitting up in the bed, text messaging someone. Finally, when the trip is over, your date text messages someone the moment the plane takes off to leave Hawaii. And as soon as the plane arrives home, they text someone to let them know they're back. Not the type of person to invade someone's privacy, you finally get the nerve to ask your date, "Who are you texting?" The date responds rather brashly, "Just a good friend of mine who's been asking about the trip." Now what do you do?
oaks Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Now what do you do? Tell airport security that he needs some extra scrutiny and quickly make your exit.
Jonno_S Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 It definitely sounds a little out of hand and clearly a talk or two needs to be had. The person could be addicted to the texting OR it could be a significant other lurking (but that's pretty blatant). Do you know the person/people he's texting? I view it differently if my SO is talking with someone I know or have at least met so I can understand their relationship.
Author Butterflying Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 (edited) It definitely sounds a little out of hand and clearly a talk or two needs to be had. The person could be addicted to the texting OR it could be a significant other lurking (but that's pretty blatant). Do you know the person/people he's texting? I view it differently if my SO is talking with someone I know or have at least met so I can understand their relationship. Neither have met each other's friends yet. Only shared a few stories here and there to give an idea of the kinds of people they associate with. Everything is still fairly new. The previous time spent together texting wasn't an issue because the two are only together for a few hours at a time (dinner, movie, a show). Not sure if this particular vacation warranted such behavior because they've been taken away from their normal every day activities. Usually, people take these kinds of escapes and rebel against technical distractions from unimportant people like with cell phones. They just want to relax and enjoy time spent without distractions. Edited January 27, 2011 by Butterflying
Jonno_S Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Neither have met each other's friends yet. Only shared a few stories here and there to give an idea of the kinds of people they associate with. Everything is still fairly new. The previous time spent together texting wasn't an issue because the two are only together for a few hours at a time (dinner, movie, a show). Not sure if this particular vacation warranted such behavior because they've been taken away from their normal every day activities. Usually, people take these kinds of escapes and rebel against technical distractions from unimportant people like with cell phones. They just want to relax and enjoy time spent without distractions. I don't know, call me old fashioned but spending a week together after only one month is kind of sudden (if not drastic). Was this genuinely a mutual idea to do this? What I'm getting at is that the guy definitely seemed distracted or not into it (unless he has a genuine addiction) and I am wondering how much his heart was in it.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Hi Butterflying. I would be pissed off. But then again I would be pissed off early into this scenario and not passive about this going on. If it persisted it would be a deal-breaker and I don't care who it is that she texted. I should think though that if we had been dating before this and she were that distracted by having to text someone about every move I would have already seen this in action and addressed it then. I surely wouldn't include someone like that in such an excursion. Screw that noise.
denise_xo Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I would throw his iPhone in the toilet (after I had used it but before flushing) and then flush at least five times consecutively.
O'Malley Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Now what do you do? I would tell him to have fun with his text friend...and I would find someone more compatible to date and vacation with. He's either a serial texter or, as Jonno said, wasn't interested in actually spending time together. Whose idea was it to go on the vacation? I would throw his iPhone in the toilet (after I had used it but before flushing) and then flush at least five times consecutively. But first, make sure you text his friend about it.
Stung Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 A few texts or emails would not be a big deal. Near-constant communication with others to the detriment of communication with you, is a big deal. The kind of thing you're describing, during a first vacation together no less, would piss me off. I guess be glad you found out about his lack of tact/class/respect/intimacy so soon?
xpaperxcutx Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Unless he's a CEO and owns his own company I don't see why it would be acceptable for anyone to be on their for much of the day. Never mind that it's rude but it's also inconsiderate if he doesn't politely excuse himself to take care of business but does his conversing in front of you.
carhill Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Now what do you do? I would calmly book a one-way award ticket back home, inform my date that the room is paid for, excluding 'extras', and to enjoy the vacation and texting, then I'd be out of there. I've actually done this No way I'd take anyone on a vacation after only a month of dating. They're a stranger. YMMV, as always
Lauriebell82 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I would ask him to stop texting and turn his cell phone off for the remainder of the trip. If he refuses, then tell him to enjoy his cell phone and go home. I probably wouldn't have taken a vacation with a boyfriend after a month, however it may have been good that you found this annoying thing out now instead of on your honeymoon!
Crimson and Clover Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Maybe he is seeing someone else? I would be very suspicious of this too! Butterflying, I went away for a weekend once with a man I was still just getting to know but really, really liked, and he kept making these secretive phone calls and texts. When we got back, I found out he was married ! I have since learned that the first month or two isn't even the honeymoon period yet, it is still the getting-to-know-you period when you shouldn't be too invested yet! Maybe he's not seeing anyone else, but the only other option is that this guy is disrespectful of the time you are together and not putting enough energy into you. Right? He said he was texting a friend, and it wasn't work-related. I would probably have switched to a single room, and just tried to enjoy my time alone in Hawaii!
zengirl Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I would calmly book a one-way award ticket back home, inform my date that the room is paid for, excluding 'extras', and to enjoy the vacation and texting, then I'd be out of there. I've actually done this No way I'd take anyone on a vacation after only a month of dating. They're a stranger. YMMV, as always Sounds like the right path to me. I cannot stand constant texting. A text or call on a date once in awhile when it's something that's come up, is understandable. I'm not a child who needs to be the center of attention at all times. But no way I'm going to put up with constant texting on vacation. Put the SmartPhone down!
mark982 Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 damn, and i get mad when my wife brings her cell phone into the restaurant with us. carhills right, shoulda hopped a big bird home
Nexus One Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Regardless, your date spends practically every single moment with their iPhone texting and emailing friends. These are moments like when you depart for the trip. Your date text someone that the plane is taking off. When you land in Hawaii, your date text someone that you just arrived, then proceeds to text, every moment, every day, throughout the entire trip begining from the time you wake up until you fall asleep. Sex during this vacation is limited because when you wake up, instead of cuddling in your dates arms, you're surprised to find them already awake, sitting up in the bed, text messaging someone. Finally, when the trip is over, your date text messages someone the moment the plane takes off to leave Hawaii. And as soon as the plane arrives home, they text someone to let them know they're back. Not the type of person to invade someone's privacy, you finally get the nerve to ask your date, "Who are you texting?" The date responds rather brashly, "Just a good friend of mine who's been asking about the trip." Now what do you do? Note that I'm not saying that YOU should do the following, but this is what I would do. If a woman pulls that kind of behavior on me it's over right there on the spot. I'll tell her to text that to her friends.
denise_xo Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 damn, and i get mad when my wife brings her cell phone into the restaurant with us. carhills right, shoulda hopped a big bird home The only thing with that is that she loses out on the holiday. I would have sent HIM home on the plane and kept enjoying the trip (assuming that expenses were shared).
folieadeux Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Constant texting drives me insane by anyone (boyfriend, co-workers, friends, etc). I don't have to be the center of attention but it's beyond annoying going out to dinner and trying to have a conversation with someone who can't look away from their phone for more than five minutes. I can't even imagine spending a vacation like this. Unless it was an emergency, there's no excuse for this, regardless of how long you've been together. Technology is great, but it's reduced some of us to complete morons who lack the common sense to realize when they're being downright rude.
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