Xewkija Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 (edited) I'm not going to write out my story because I'm doing this from an iPhone and will take forever. So long story short. I met this girl on myspace 5 1/2 years ago and we talked and met and we fell in love. She was my first girl she took my virginty away and she is everything. So we we have been together for four years and 10 months march woukd be 5 years. We had our "breaks" in the pass but that lasted like 2 days and we were back together. So she got her first job ever 2 months ago and I was very happy for her but I always had this feeling she was going to meet someone else. Well for the past few weeks it's been not so good and she said she needs some space and time, so a break. She said this 2 weeks ago and few days ago I went to her place brought her roses and was crying so much and she told me she had small feelings for someone else she works with but she then says I love you, I want to be with you but we need to be apart. But she also says that he has nothing to do with this and having a break, idk if that's true or not. Ill admit that I tend to get bothered and a little jealous when she talked about how she loves the people she works with but if seemed like she was so into them. I'm trying so hard not to contact hard but it's extremely difficult we have been thru so much together. I love her so much and I don't want to move on without her but I know mentally that I need to give her the space and time. Otherwise if I don't I'll be pushing her away even more. But I just went on facebook and she mentions some other guy like "I'm gonna win "name"!!" don't know what she's talking about and don't want to find out. What am I suppose to do? I just started school again and it's so. So. Miserable. I don't have too many friends because for the past years I gave her every second of my life which is my problem but I do have good friends but their not the type to talk about this problem too. I also don't want to be going out drinking and finding new girls to be with cause I feel it would make everything a lot worse. However I didn't know if this was a good idea but I found a therapist and have a session tomorrow with him/her. If I could use a quote that can describe how il feeling this would be it "it's hard to wait around for something that you know might never happen, but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you want" I know mentally that this break may be a good thing to have and go ou and do things I wanted but I'm so afraid too. She says she doesn't want to he in any relationship with anyone and that she only wants to be with me but she needs space and she wants to clear her mind. I'm afraid she's saying that for 1) it may be true untill she does find someone new and 2) too make me feel better and to know that their is some hope. I just can't get her off my mind even when I'm with my friends and I have been so depressed and just everything little thing that reminds me of her makes me cry, and knowing that she may end up being sexual with someone else is also destroying me. I can't just move on and idk how she's able to handle it so well. I believe it's because of her job and she has feelings for someone else and Shea around other people but my job is seasonal and only in summer and I work with the same friends I hang out with so I'm trying to find another job but I'm so scared of getting a new Job. I'm 21 and she's 19, yes we were young when we met but I still love her. And valentines day and my birthday are in february and she said she wants to hang out with me on my bday but I told her it may not be a good idea cause it will make me more depressed Edited January 27, 2011 by Xewkija
andy in spain Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 (edited) its a shame but people don't want the same things in a relationship as they get older, particularly as they turn into adults. The end of first love is always tough. I'm sorry but it looks like this is it for you, it looks like she is putting some distance between you two. She want's out but doesn't want to hurt your feelings so you are left in a sort of limbo, hanging on to hope. On the plus side; 5 years is far too long a relationship for a young pup like you, get out there and sample some variety. It's time to have fun. good luck Edited January 27, 2011 by andy in spain typo
timchambo Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Sorry your going through this bro. I'm going through exact same thing only it's been 7 years. In my case she has made it clear we are over. And I k ow for a fact she has moves onto a new guy. There was a bit of overlap for me and new guy but she won't admit it. It sounds like she has her eyes on someone else man. You have to cut off contact for yourself. Who knows what will happen in time but don't be waiting around on her. I think it's rather rare for women to come back. It's just so tough the way women do these things. People say there are warning signs. I'm still struggling to find any of mine. It was so out of the blue for me. It may take months to get over this. But I think you will be feeling a bit better around 3-4 weeks. Your focus at this point shouldn't be on getting her back. If it's to happen it won't be anytime soon. Just take it a day at a time. Step by step. Get through the initial shock and start focussing on yourself. Honestly a month later and she's still on my mind a lot everyday. It had been getting better but she kept calling/texting periodically. For me and I'm sure others will agree, it's best to break off all contact.
Author Xewkija Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 I appreciate the input, however I don't want trick my self and get my hopes up but I know her. I know her very well. I get the feeling that she will eventually ( I don't know when) try to talk to me and ask if we can be together.. I just hope if that day DOES come I'm not with someone new and tell her that I cant be with her... I hate hurting peoples emotions especially hers. I just don't know what to do to cope or get my mind of it. I have been trying to watch tv and listen to music but idk.
127k Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 i hope im not out of place as im a woman. and my story is quite complicated. i was dumped by my boyfriend (affair) who ive been seeing for 5yrs. im about to divorce not cuz of him but cuz my marriage was a mess anyway (in the first place i wouldnt have been with him) and we were just together for the kids. thing is, my bf dumped me during this phase. im not relying on him financially at all and im not planning to. and im still very much in love with him. he did on the phone cuz no balls or knew me being so emotional that if we met somewhere i might just freeze and cry at the corner. maybe he loved me too, but the reality that ive 2 kids just doesnt fit in his picture of ideal relationship. for 5 yrs, nothing was really clear about us until previous months, where he said he couldnt accept it. but we kept going cuz we still loved each other and i hoped i could do sth about it. thats my mistake - i shouldve ended it there. problem was, i was as in love with him then. and maybe he too... but more likely from then on, he had started to condition his mind to break up with me. so last week, (a week before our anniv, which was yesterday), it became easy for him to just say "let's live our lives separately." that was it! all my life i thought i finally found him, my soul mate. my marriage was a failure because i didnt really love my hubby, i just eventually loved him, however, he was already on the way back. at first, i didnt plan to fall in love with my bf, considering the heartbreak from my hubby. but he was so kind, considerate, gentle and noble. plus, he made me a better person, mom, worker, everything. he sparked the good things in me, including my ultimate dream to put up a foundation to help poor children. a few times we broke up, but we always got back. but this time i know its really the end. i regret making it longer. as you might agree, the longer, the more efforts invested, the deeper the cut. plus, its the only relationship ive been most open to. ive entrusted him my whole heart. and i didnt even consider my kids cuz i know i could still be a good mom to them (and i really am). theyre already big anyway, 10 and 14. im just so sad, despair, depressed as well. just sympathizing with you and sharing.
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