jane100 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 (edited) Still trying the "internet dating" - lol. Since I know other people do here too, what kinds of profiles do you like/dislike? My current pet dislike is men who oversell themselves i.e. a whole album of pictures, a whole thing about how great they are and all their amazing interests and achievements, every one listed. Some sound shallow, but sometimes they do actually sound pretty interesting but even if they contact you first i notice they never respond to your reply (whats that about?). I like "funny", a couple of lines, rather than a stand-up routine! Though strangely I can't do it myself in writing. Do you have any personal preferences/guidelines you follow about what people write, or do you think it makes little difference in the end Edited January 27, 2011 by jane100
Love_co_uk Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Hello Jane, This is a great point. Most dating websites provide profile template guidelines and advise, but we often see people ignore this! I guess there are two ways you can look at this; some people think the more information they give, the more attractive they will appear, where as other opt for the less is more approach! I suppose what you may find attractive in a dating profile, will differ a lot from what others may like. So this is a real tough one to form a specific opinion on... It's all down to personal preference really.
Author jane100 Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 True! I think I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed by profiles at the moment ...
SunsetRed Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 When I first began internet dating, I was drawn to all the men who listed all their 100 fun/interesting hobbies. I later found that no matter how many fun hobbies these guys had, all they wanted to do was screw. When I met them in real life, there was no mention of their jet ski, boat, fishing pole, tennis raquet etc..all they wanted to do was screw. However, I still appreciate the fun, hobby filled profiles as opposed to the negative ones that are filled with disclaimers.
GivenUp0083 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 (edited) There's so many profiles I've hated from years of dating, here's the typical ones I can remember that I just couldn't stand to read anymore: -The "don't email me if" profile: Girls will list off things at the bottom of their profile that are deal breakers, and usually range from the obvious (cheating, too old) to the odd (you watch fox news, your pants are too tight). Usually they don't fit one of the dealbreakers on my list: don't email me if "you are a huge btch" -I've done everything girl: just like the OP's beef, there's girls who have a picture of themselves in every part of the world, skydiving, kayaking, skiing, everything. I wouldn't know where to take her on a date because she's probably done it in China already. -The reluctant profile: Girls who start off saying "oh I've never done this before" or "I feel so weird doing online dating but I guess I'll give it a shot" or "I never thought I'd ever resort to this". Thanks for puting me down by taking pity on the fact I've used the internet to meet girls. Like it's sooooo odd that people use the internet for that. You use the internet to shop and find a job, why wouldn't you use it to find a date? You can leave your cave now. -The "different" girl: This girl hates life, but that's cool in her eyes. Yes, she says funny things, claims to love sex, but nothing is awesome to her, everything is so boring and she thinks she's this super-unique person and is trying a whole different approach with her profile by trying to show the world how much of a bitch she is. Oh, and her pictures are of funny angles of herself and she's always dressed up in costumes. -Live life to the fullest girl: She literally claims she "lives life to the fullest". Ok, cuz I try to get the least out of my life...? She also claims she's "up for anything" and she has a whole lot of nothing to say about herself. I'm fun, I like to go out, I like to try new restaurants, I like to explore the city, I'm looking for someone who can make me happy. Right, you and everyone else who fits your cookie-cutter profile. When a guy is trying to make conversation with you, he has nothing to say to you because you gave him nothing to work with that would show he actually read your profile. He might as well not read your profile, and I usually wish I could have those 5 min of my life back. Also, I'm pretty sure she's not up for "anything" because I can think of a lot of things we could do that she would not be up for. -The hot girl who writes like 3 lines about herself: This girl doesn't need 1500 letter maximums....she's thinking like 50 and she's out. Her pics are stunning, she's a tall blond with a killer smile, why should she have to put thought into her profile? You already started emailing her, sending pics to your friends, and trying to find her on facebook for more pics to drool over. She literrally writes almost nothing. Goes like "hey, looking to meet a cool guy, I like to have fun, I do xxxxxx for a living, I love it. Hope you have a great day!" Then there's a massive blob of white space where the rest of her profile is supposed to be. Edited January 27, 2011 by GivenUp0083
Author jane100 Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 When I met them in real life, there was no mention of their jet ski, boat, fishing pole, tennis raquet etc..all they wanted to do was screw. I know you didn't mean it as funny Sunset, but I laughed and laughed ... Given up, I chuckled through all of yours, especially the "done it in China" one. Actually I'm thinking of doing a spoof one and see if anyone notices
oaks Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Stuff I see a lot (and dislike) : "I hate this bit where I have to write about myself..." well, I hate that you had to tell me that when you could've just written about yourself. "Looking for a partner in crime." Really? I see this a lot. There are an awful lot of women looking for someone to do something illegal with! "I like going out... but also staying in." I've actually seen those exact words, but an awful lot of profiles boil down to that when you look closely. "My friends say that I am ." It's a cliché, even if true. I'm sure my own profiles aren't perfect, though, and I've definitely done the "friends say" thing before.
Author jane100 Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 "Looking for a partner in crime." Really? I see this a lot. There are an awful lot of women looking for someone to do something illegal with! The last time I saw this was a middle-aged guy living in Marbella (its a place on the Spanish coast that attracts English criminals) and I think he actually meant it . If I'm honest, I'm trying not to feel fazed and irritated by the profiles I am currently trawling through/getting the occasional message from; however I guess that kind of pessimism is not gonna achieve much ...
Emilia Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 you are completely wasting your time if you worry about profiles, people lie. take out the psychos (too negative, too angry) by all means but just go with the pics and chat to as many guys you can if you like their photos. I must have chatted with hundreds over the last few months because I reply to most (I'm nosey) - except for those with really creepy messages or no photos. The one I like the most so far had a rubbish profile because he didn't bother filling it out properly but when he contacted me he sent me a very funny message that was cheeky and we hit it off straight away. he has great social skills and is lovely looking move on to the phone as soon as you can when you have some rapport with someone, anyone can say anything they like on the internet, it has very little real value in my experience. just look at the BS on loveshack, imagine us posting on online dating sites..........
Love_co_uk Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I agree that you can't rely on profiles to give you an insight into the real person. The first message you receive tells you a lot more. Has anyone ever got the one that just says Hi???? What's that supposed to say to us really? Absolutely nothing and its certainly no incetive to bother yourself with a reply.http://love.co.uk
fishtaco Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I like - pictures with nice cleavage. Don't like - pictures with no cleavage. What's this "profile" thing you mentioned. You mean people actually read words?
oaks Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 (edited) I like - pictures with nice cleavage. Don't like - pictures with no cleavage. What's this "profile" thing you mentioned. You mean people actually read words? This reminds me of some more that I dislike... I've seen some (of the nice cleavage variety) where the words say things like "I'm too busy to fill this in. Just ask me anything." It would be unfair of me to just assume such people are so vain that they expect to get men just by looking pretty and showing half a boob, so instead I choose to believe that their profiles are short because they are illiterate. Then there's "I'll come back and finish this later" which always seems to be accompanied by "profile last updated 6 months ago". Edited January 31, 2011 by oaks typo
LexiB Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 There's so many profiles I've hated from years of dating, here's the typical ones I can remember that I just couldn't stand to read anymore: -The hot girl who writes like 3 lines about herself: This girl doesn't need 1500 letter maximums....she's thinking like 50 and she's out. Her pics are stunning, she's a tall blond with a killer smile, why should she have to put thought into her profile? You already started emailing her, sending pics to your friends, and trying to find her on facebook for more pics to drool over. She literrally writes almost nothing. Goes like "hey, looking to meet a cool guy, I like to have fun, I do xxxxxx for a living, I love it. Hope you have a great day!" Then there's a massive blob of white space where the rest of her profile is supposed to be. Ha! This is me to a *tee* (minus the "blonde" part.) Works tho...:laugh:
GivenUp0083 Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 (edited) Ha! This is me to a *tee* (minus the "blonde" part.) Works tho...:laugh: I'm sorry for you that you even admitted you're like that. How's that working out for you? How's the quality of men you attract? Do you just want a guy who only contacts you based on your picture and you are looking for a quick hookup/fling? or do you want someone you're actually compatible with and share interest, viewpoints, enjoys your personality? I can tell you that when I used to send out emails to any girl I felt was half-way decent looking that I sure was able to line up a lot of dates, but the women ended up not being worth my time. (this is where most people give up and say "guess online dating doesn't work, it's not for me"). Then I woke up, realized I want something more than just a date, and I narrowed down who I emailed to girls with specific qualities and traits. Then I met a girl that I'm crazy about and it's almost scary how well we get along together. But you don't leave that chance, no guy who is being picky for a certain type of woman will ever find you, because you didn't share anything. Maybe you just don't have anything to bring to the table... Edited January 31, 2011 by GivenUp0083
phineas Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I decided to hide my profile while I finished my 3 month weight loss / house clean-up project. My favorite profiles are those with a full body picture & about a paragraph about your job & what you like to do with someone else. I ignore what she wants from others because if she's been on that website as long as I think she has then I know she aint finding it. LOL! I also chuckle when people go on rants about guys just looking to hook up or use a profile header the screams "I've been here forever" makes me wonder if she is picky or if only looser's pay attention to her on the site.
Disillusioned Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 The ones that turn me off the most are those cookie-cutter pics of the woman with half of her friends' faces on either side of hers and they're all holding a bottle or a glass in some darkened bar. Usually they're all grinning and you can tell by the look on their faces they've had a few and they're feeling good. Why look for a bf if your female drinking buddies are the light of your life? They should be joining AA, not a dating site.
oaks Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Another one that puts me off: Primary photo or majority of photos are black and white. I actually want to see what she looks like, sorry.
LexiB Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 (edited) I'm sorry for you that you even admitted you're like that. How's that working out for you? How's the quality of men you attract? Do you just want a guy who only contacts you based on your picture and you are looking for a quick hookup/fling? or do you want someone you're actually compatible with and share interest, viewpoints, enjoys your personality? I can tell you that when I used to send out emails to any girl I felt was half-way decent looking that I sure was able to line up a lot of dates, but the women ended up not being worth my time. (this is where most people give up and say "guess online dating doesn't work, it's not for me"). Then I woke up, realized I want something more than just a date, and I narrowed down who I emailed to girls with specific qualities and traits. Then I met a girl that I'm crazy about and it's almost scary how well we get along together. But you don't leave that chance, no guy who is being picky for a certain type of woman will ever find you, because you didn't share anything. Maybe you just don't have anything to bring to the table... Really now? It actually works just fine (well, worked I'm not on anymore). I showed my pictures and gave a few glimpses into my personality and sense of humor. Guys who liked what they saw and read at that point started a conversation with me asking to know more and we took it from there. Easy. How is this any different from the amount of info you'd get before meeting someone cold turkey at a bookstore or a bar, etc.? It's during the approach (the initial exchange of messages) that you confirm whether this person who looks good from across the room is someone you're actually interested in pursuing. Likewise, men who are just looking for sex are quite easy to spot and dismiss at this stage as well. In ordinary and online dating, you don't have to get someone's entire life story upfront before making a move. The gaps fill in naturally when you start talking. But hey, this is just my take. To each his own. Edited February 1, 2011 by LexiB
Emilia Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 The ones that turn me off the most are those cookie-cutter pics of the woman with half of her friends' faces on either side of hers and they're all holding a bottle or a glass in some darkened bar. Usually they're all grinning and you can tell by the look on their faces they've had a few and they're feeling good. Why look for a bf if your female drinking buddies are the light of your life? They should be joining AA, not a dating site. I think it would help you if wanted to actually like women as opposed to looking for reasons why not to like them. You are scraping the bottom of the barrel here
GivenUp0083 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 Really now? It actually works just fine (well, worked I'm not on anymore). I showed my pictures and gave a few glimpses into my personality and sense of humor. Guys who liked what they saw and read at that point started a conversation with me asking to know more and we took it from there. Easy. How is this any different from the amount of info you'd get before meeting someone cold turkey at a bookstore or a bar, etc.? It's during the approach (the initial exchange of messages) that you confirm whether this person who looks good from across the room is someone you're actually interested in pursuing. Likewise, men who are just looking for sex are quite easy to spot and dismiss at this stage as well. In ordinary and online dating, you don't have to get someone's entire life story upfront before making a move. The gaps fill in naturally when you start talking. But hey, this is just my take. To each his own. First off, you're changing your tune now that you've been called out. You didn't say you gave glimpses, you said you wrote just a few cookie-cutter sentences and let the pics to the rest. Scrolling up, you said it described you to a "tee". As for dudes just looking for sex, I'm sure that's the majority of the messages you receive and it's sad that you admit you've had to learn how to decipher the good from the bad. Sounds like it's going really well for you. Hope it works out.
Disillusioned Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I think it would help you if wanted to actually like women as opposed to looking for reasons why not to like them. You are scraping the bottom of the barrel here Other guys grabbed the decent ones years ago. Nowadays the market has not just a few bad apples, it's nothing but bad apples.
LexiB Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) First off, you're changing your tune now that you've been called out. You didn't say you gave glimpses, you said you wrote just a few cookie-cutter sentences and let the pics to the rest. Scrolling up, you said it described you to a "tee". As for dudes just looking for sex, I'm sure that's the majority of the messages you receive and it's sad that you admit you've had to learn how to decipher the good from the bad. Sounds like it's going really well for you. Hope it works out. Thanks doll! Seriously though, called me out on what exactly? You clearly don't believe that using a "shallow" profile can work to attract anything more than a hookup. I disagree. Next. I'm not changing my tune at all. I was identifying with the overall profile type you described that only has a few lines (very brief and general) and "masses of white space" left, as opposed to ones that are filled out w/ more effort. Was that not the gist of what you were getting at w/ your example, of "hey, looking to meet a cool guy, I like to have fun, I do xxxxxx for a living, I love it. Hope you have a great day!", or did you only mean to describe profiles that *literally* used those words? My profile was bare bones, sure. But that doesn't mean I didn't add my personal style to those bones. One doesn't preclude the other. Btw, being born w/ xx chromosomes is what's forced me to have to learn to decipher the intentions of men, not the lack of info on my online dating profile. Besides having experimented with both types of profile, I can assure you the pervs come out in droves either way. Edited February 2, 2011 by LexiB
oaks Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Another one: names ending in "ilicious". I've seen a load of these recently (including spelled "ilicous" which I assume is because they can't spell "delicious").
irc333 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 (edited) Oh man don't get me started. "Looking for a good hearted man" (I'm seeing this headliner a lot) A profile that looks like more of a list of terrorist demands of a bitter woman who is already ticked off at the men who had emailed her already. "If you're under (X height) do NOT email me!" If you're a JERK/Player/Alcoholic/Drug User, do NOT email me" The BIG ones are the 1. The Return Veterans 2. Continually and chronically single I seen one where she said, "Yep, I'm back on here again, giving this another shot, it seems last time I wasn't happy with the men who emailed me, and the local guys here are too young for me (she was a 35 year old waitress, of course you'll have young guys hitting on you, because you're the only 35 year old waitress at Shennanigans, lol, and the only guys there (and your co workers) are all college aged. Or the ones that, over a period of time, put *UPDATE* and add a paragraph of bitterness, scolding men who ever read her profile. To supplement the "Oh, I've never done this before", sometimes they'll pin their dating profile on their friends, "My friends put me up to this". I've even known friends to put the dating profile ont he site FOR their friend. Edited February 16, 2011 by irc333
irc333 Posted February 16, 2011 Posted February 16, 2011 Oh the "Stating the obvious" profiles. "Looking for a nice guy" "I like new adventures, meeting new people and doing new things" And FINALLY..... "I love to laugh." Maybe I should start putting, "I like to drink water and I couldn't live without breathing air, and you must be able to breathe air, too." I also like wearing shoes, because they keep my feet safe from the ground. And when I write, I like to use either a pen or a pencil.
Recommended Posts