on NO. ABout my " devastated" thread.... News....

[sammyd]

It is crazy, you are coming off as very, very unstable. He probably does think you are crazy, because I cannot imagine that you honestly believe that what you are posting here is perfectly normal behavior.

 

You need to back away from the internet and call your therapist asap.

 

Incidentally, I think that the person posting as your facebook friend is you.

 

You really, really need help, please get some.

 

 

Ditto, you seriously need some help:(

[cerridwen]

It is crazy, you are coming off as very, very unstable. He probably does think you are crazy, because I cannot imagine that you honestly believe that what you are posting here is perfectly normal behavior.

 

You need to back away from the internet and call your therapist asap.

Incidentally, I think that the person posting as your facebook friend is you.

 

You really, really need help, please get some.

 

x2.

 

There have been many well-meaning and well-intentioned LS members posting to her thread. It's all falling on deaf ears.

[Leigh 87]

um, the reason I want to starve myself, is because I like being thinner. I know what my issues are, and I am addressing them with a therapist.

 

 

So stop telling me to go get help, I have it under control, I am aware that wanting to starve myself is not a healthy way to think.

 

 

Wanting to starve myself, for whatever reason, is no big deal, and there are people with far worse problems.

 

And the simple reality of my current situation is: I want a f*ck every noe and again, not every week, but just occasionally, and I am not an emotional person who spills their feelings to men.

 

I want sex and that is it. I am not a stupid sensitive type who will get feelings for people who I do not even know.

[SmileFace]

Ha! This makes me sound sane.

[Leigh 87]

You have not gotten out and seen many troubled people, by the sounds of things.

 

 

I think being thin looks better, and I do not think normal sized women have attractive bodies.

 

It is what it is; when things happen in life, I often want to starve as a way to cope.

 

However, I have not in fact starved for years, I just want to do it ( without acting).

 

I see a therapist who is going to start CBT with me soon.

 

 

WHat is the big deal with having an eating disorder?

 

Sheesh.

 

I have not talked to any men in about 5 years, apart from two, hence why I made my threads about the two guys I have talked to in 5 years; I lack experiene and could use the guideance of others.

 

 

You need to get out more and observe people with real hardships and problems, like drug addicts and people who are sociopaths or people who hord stuff or have weird habits; I am just a girl with an eating disorder, who wants sex, and also wants advice on how to better handle myself with men.

 

Really. My situation is not that interesting or odd.

 

I hated making a fool of myself, but I have calmed down now, it was only 5 phone calls in one day, I wont do it again, and luckily, the guy cares so little about me that he didnt notice the calls or care about them enough to think naything of it.

 

Which is what I am seeking; sex with a guy I find hot, and who thinks I am hot, who does not care about me or know me.

 

HAving sex every month is normal and healthy also, in case u are going to make something out of my natyural desire to want sex occasionally.

[depplover_1980]

It was your posts about wanting to kill yourself I found most troublesome. I know you were drunk, but you were smashed and throwing stuff off your balcony. Consider the following:

 

*You enjoy posting and having opinions on LS. Some people were genuinely concerned about you taking your own life.*

 

If you want to keep friends on here think carefully before posting such threats. I recognised it as drunken cry for help behaviour and in my past have been there probably a dozen times, but you must avoid alcohol next time you are stressed. OK?

[depplover_1980]

Infact Leigh, look at my profile pic. That was taken at the beginning of a holiday about 4 years ago and on the last night of that holiday I threw a bottle of vodka off that balcony and threatened to jump.

 

You would think that sounds insane?

[Kamille]

WHat is the big deal with having an eating disorder?

 

 

Consequences of eating disorders :

Death,

malnutrition,

dehydration,

dizziness,

weakness,

hair loss,

heart attack,

tooth decay,

damaged nerve impulses,

kidney failure,

lanugo (hair growth on face, hands, etc),

edema,

muscle atrophy,

impaired neuromuscular function,

paralysis,

insomnia,

fatigue,

depression,

manic episodes,

dry skin,

brittle hair,

brittle nails,

low blood pressure,

impaired immune system,

diabetes (caused by damaged insulin production),

coma,

anemia,

kidney disfunction,

osteoporosis,

arthritis,

amenorrhea (loss of menstrual cycle),

infertitliy,

bruised skin,

arrhythmia,

seizures.

 

But you've been in a clinic before and you know this. You know an eating disorder is serious. It affects how you look in negative ways, it affects how you feel and it affects your health.

 

If being attractive is what you're hoping for, please know that studies have shown that men are attracted to healthy looking women.

 

The bottom line is, the best way to cope with what happened is to cherish and love yourself. Eat. Eat something healthy. Make yourself a salad of avocado and fish. But eat. Respect your body.

[Negative Nancy]

We all waste years of trying to make someone being into us or worrying that we did things wrong and that the other person will now be put off.

 

Wasted energy.

 

I live by the simple rule "with the right person you can't do anything wrong, and with thr wrong person you can't do anything right." That doesn't mean you should act reckless and inconsiderate, but it will be easy and there will be no second -guessing. It'll just work.

 

The person who is really interested you won't be bothered by 5 calls cos he'll be happy to hear from you. We all know this example from our own life experience: if you're interested in someone, that person calling twice a week might be considered not enough and you wonder what's wrong. On the other hand, being called twice from a aperson that annoys you or that you don't care about is ecxactly twice too many.

 

Living by that rule means less stress, and most of all it means that you can be yourself and things will work themselves out no matter what.

 

My point is, that guy probably isn't the one for you.

Edited January 30, 2011 by Negative Nancy

[Leigh 87]

he prob is nto the one for me; which is fine, as I am not seeking a relationship - I just want a quick f*ck.

 

And no I am not whore - I have gone a few years with out sex, aside from twice in October of last year.

 

 

I just need a one off f*ck for sh*ts and giggles, and because i really feel like having sex, and I think this guy happened to send me a msg on face book a few days ago, and he is the right looking guy to make me wanna have sex with him. That is all. No big deal.

 

I won;t be engaging with further conversation after the sex.

 

 

I know I will find a good guy for me in gthr future, but for now, am out to make friends once Uni starts, and to have sex occasionally; done in a safe manner, of course,a nd with a guy who is not nasty to me of course.

[Trimmer]

I just need a one off f*ck for sh*ts and giggles, and because i really feel like having sex, and I think this guy happened to send me a msg on face book a few days ago, and he is the right looking guy to make me wanna have sex with him. That is all. No big deal.

Not a big deal? Not until he doesn't respond quickly enough, and you spin out of control, assume -without evidence - that he is plotting against you, and then spiral down into a self-hating episode, throwing stuff off your balcony because you are planning to starve yourself to death, turning to alcohol when you have not been a drinker before...

 

Do I have that about right? OK, yeah then - no big deal.

 

If that was really "all", and it's no big deal - if you were "just" a hedonist - your self-worth and self-image wouldn't be so wrapped up in needing that validation from someone outside yourself that you would spiral down like this with so little provocation.

 

Nobody on here telling you to just have something to eat, or to be nice to yourself, or that we're certain you look lovely, will be able to help you. You need to continue seeing your therapist, and please review this episode, in all its glory, with him/her to be sure you are getting the right kind of help.

[depplover_1980]

he prob is nto the one for me; which is fine, as I am not seeking a relationship - I just want a quick f*ck.

 

And no I am not whore - I have gone a few years with out sex, aside from twice in October of last year.

 

 

I just need a one off f*ck for sh*ts and giggles, and because i really feel like having sex, and I think this guy happened to send me a msg on face book a few days ago, and he is the right looking guy to make me wanna have sex with him. That is all. No big deal.

 

I won;t be engaging with further conversation after the sex.

 

 

I know I will find a good guy for me in gthr future, but for now, am out to make friends once Uni starts, and to have sex occasionally; done in a safe manner, of course,a nd with a guy who is not nasty to me of course.

 

Boring...

[Jannah]

he prob is nto the one for me; which is fine, as I am not seeking a relationship - I just want a quick f*ck.

 

And no I am not whore - I have gone a few years with out sex, aside from twice in October of last year.

 

 

I just need a one off f*ck for sh*ts and giggles, and because i really feel like having sex, and I think this guy happened to send me a msg on face book a few days ago, and he is the right looking guy to make me wanna have sex with him. That is all. No big deal.

 

I won;t be engaging with further conversation after the sex.

 

 

I know I will find a good guy for me in gthr future, but for now, am out to make friends once Uni starts, and to have sex occasionally; done in a safe manner, of course,a nd with a guy who is not nasty to me of course.

 

What person says "I just need a one off f*ck for sh*ts and giggles"? The way you describe sex sounds so predatory in nature and it's hard to believe that you're so exorbitantly hung up on "getting off" for reasons that don't even appear to be enjoyable.

[threebyfate]

I am seeing a therapist - I asked her about CBT and we are going to stafrt it soon.

 

The therapist calld my mum and apparently told her that she has plans for me with other experts - and that I will just have to listen to her, and do as she says, for things to work.

Something's not right in Kansas. No therapist would call a non-minor client's mother and tell the parent their client must listen to them.

 

Leigh, are you honestly seeing a therapist?

[Lovelybird]

If your goal is to find a decent man who loves and cares about you, then try to Imagine a man you will love dearly in the future, and if he has this kind of thinking and said "I will just f*ck, and let others use my body however they want to", what do you feel about him? pain? probably?

 

If this f*ck cannot contribute to your future but only damage it, why would you still want it? is that worth it only for a good and satisfactory f*ck right now?

 

could you tell us what is good sides and bad sides of this casual sex thing?

Edited January 30, 2011 by Lovelybird

[oaks]

Consequences of eating disorders :

 

hair loss,

 

tooth decay,

 

brittle hair,

 

 

Just thought I'd highlight the ones that I think Leigh might be especially interested in, based on some of her posts about her physical appearance.

[Lucky_One]

WOW - pass the popcorn indeed! This was a shocker thread to read.

 

Leigh, you need to re-think your friends (the guy who posted here and supposedly got a message) if he came here, read your threats of suicide, and doesn't express any concern for you. So, I can see why there are posters now wondering as to the dual-personality aspect of these posts, and whether or not someone really did FB your friend or if this is just made-up in order to add more excitement and drama to your day.

 

As for eating disorders messing up hair, I think I read somewhere else that she has extensions. So her hair is actually not long or thick or lustrous - it's fake. Definitely sounds as though she has had some consequences of her disorder already.

[lino]

And again, what a sh*tfight!

[Leigh 87]

My hair was growing back since I was too thin - I have been a healthy weight for two years now, and before then I never got dangerously thin, but I was heading that way.

 

 

 

The problem was, I got impatient of waiting for my hair to grow back to its origional thickness; it would take years, and so I have cheated with extensions, the kind that do not damage your hair too badly:)

 

My hair extensions have greatly enhanced my life, as I always had very thick hair, and now I have it again after 5 years of thin hair. Thin hair look out of place on my long, severe head.

 

 

I am considering waiting until I start Univeristy before engaging ins exyal acts.

 

I love sex and really enjoy having it, and I like it regularly.

 

Perhaps if I wait until I meet guys at Uni, I will find guys with substance to them, and who also are interested and studying the same courses as I am.

 

 

 

I mentioned in my other thread I started recenlty, that I do not like the idea of spendingt he rest of my life withonly ONE person.

 

At age 24, I DO NOT want to find a person any time soon, and try to stay with them FOREVER. YUCK.

 

 

I suppose I am trying to find whatt I need, and I am not averse to relationships or one off sexual encounters at this stage.

 

The difference is, with one off flings, I ONLY have the pleasure of the sex to gain, and no emotional fulfillment. Which is fine, if it is a ONE OFF thing, and I do not pin my hopes on the guy calling me again.

 

If I do go the casual sex route, for instance, if I am at a party when Uni starts, and I have great chemistry with a guy, and we get drunk and end up hooking up; I WOULD NOT HAVE SEX th FIRST NIGHT I MET some one though lol!

 

 

However, once I do have sex in a casual way, I do not expect or wanrt the guy to call me after; he can if he wants and I wil not be bothered, and of course I will be flattered if he liked the sex enough to want more.

 

I won't however, be uspet if the guy does not call; if I get pleasure out of the sexual encounter, that is what I set out for, and will not care if the guy does not call, as I would onl bother with the guy int he first place if he ALREADY paid me compliments; further validation would not be necessary, but I would not knock back a phone call.

[Lucky_One]

If you are so hung up about liking sex, what did you do for the past 5 years without it? Why didn't you have it?

[SmileFace]

Is this real?

 

You can't seriously want casual sex that bad?

You are actually planning this **** out... this makes no sense.

 

Your a women - you have a vagina - go get sex if you want it so bad.

 

Yet you haven't had sex in five years.What in the world did you do in those five year?

 

Looked for a relationship?

 

I don't see how anyone could want casual sex so bad and not get it.

It seems like you may actually want a relationship so bad but it hasn't worked out for you. So you are trying to convince LS as well as yourself that you want casual sex.

 

 

I still think this a joke.

[Mme. Chaucer]

If you are so hung up about liking sex, what did you do for the past 5 years without it? Why didn't you have it?

 

quoted for emphasis

[Lucky_One]

In truth, I could go out of my house right now, go to a local restaurant, and be able to walk out in 20 minutes or less with a sex partner. And I could do that wearing sweatpants and with wet hair from a shower.

 

Nearly every woman in the world can get casual sex with almost zero effort.

[sb129]

In truth, I could go out of my house right now, go to a local restaurant, and be able to walk out in 20 minutes or less with a sex partner. And I could do that wearing sweatpants and with wet hair from a shower.

 

Nearly every woman in the world can get casual sex with almost zero effort.

 

Agreed.

This all comes back to Leighs insecurities and self image- she doesn't just want casual sex.

She wants to be desired so she can affirm to herself that being underweight is attractive.

[sb129]

Leigh, I know you are in a fragile state right now, which is precisely why you should not be looking for any kind of sex at all.

 

To be brutally honest, I think the reason guys aren't that into you despite your physical attributes is that you come across as being mentally unstable and obsessive.

 

It doesn't sit well with guys if they think they are going to get bombarded with obsessive messages from someone. A shag isn't worth that much hassle.