Leigh 87 Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I accidently posted the details of myself and a guy online. I scared him off by calling him too many times, and felt embarassed and humiliated, so I came on love shack to get advice and support. Unfortunately, i copy and pasted a conversation he sent me on love shack. His face book page was in it. Any one on love shack could have added him on face book, and told him bad things about me. He was very keen on me at first, but then after I called him to hang out, llike we had planned to, he ignored me. After I called him too many times and scared him off, he later sent a msg saying his friend got bashed. It turned out to be true. I saw his wall - he told other people about it. SO he sent me a couple of quick msgs tonight. THIS is what I am afraid of: Some NASTY person on love shack added him on face book, and told him nasty things about me that would really turn him off. So he is now sending me messages on face book, in the plan of doing something extra mean to me to get back at me for talking about him on the internet; or, whatever bad things the person onlove shack told him about me, could have been enough to annoy him, and so him and the person from love shack could have suggested a nasty plan to get back at me. I HOPE he is not planning something nasty; such as meeting up with me and throwing eggs at me, or anything nasty. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted January 27, 2011 Author Share Posted January 27, 2011 PLEASE. I am very scared that some on on this website DID add him on face book, and told him nasty things about me. The guy sent me a few msgs tonight, and I am very paranoid that a person from love shack and him are conspiring to do something really nasty - to get me back for giving out his face book page - A person from love shack could have told him that i was a crazy and mean bitch - and he could have gotten angry at me, aND NOW be planning to upset me to get me back. I realize I have posted a lot about my situation with this guy - but really, I was just embarrassed that i scared him off by calling him one too many times! That is all! Sheesh,. I do not deserve this guy to be planning anything nasty. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 The guy sent me a few msgs tonight, and I am very paranoid that a person from love shack and him are conspiring to do something really nasty - to get me back for giving out his face book page - He's never met you. If he even knows about the thread you posted here, and is upset about it, he's very unlikely to put any effort in to any sort of conspiracy. I think you're right to use the work "paranoid". Put down the keyboard and go and do something to distract you from this line of thought. Link to post Share on other sites
refurb Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Good lord, I don't even... RF Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Did his most recent message indicate that he knew you posted about him on LS? If so, were his messages threatening or was he just upset? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted January 27, 2011 Author Share Posted January 27, 2011 I have met him - he approached me first, by adding me on face book, and sending me a message telling me I was gorgeous. and his messages were just normal. There are people who do not like me on Love shack ( even tho they dunno me), and if they DID add him on face book and indeed inform him that I was a psycho b*tch, and had been talking about him.. I hope if this DID happen, that he would not bother with me, if he was that put off by me. I mean, if a person added him to tell him about me and warn him about me, surely he would have BLOCKED and DELETED me from face book, instead of bothering to msg me again? his msgs were just short normal ones like " what ya been doing" and " I am just in bed, what did u get up to babe" short msgs, nothing like the ones he first sent where he was very keen to see me or talkj to me. Although he did have a crazy night out - he knew ppl that got bashed, and had a long night or two. At the end of the day we barly know each other, so I hope it is what it is; he is just sendin msgs, and will bother more with me if he feels like it, and that he is not thinking badly of me, or even about me at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted January 27, 2011 Author Share Posted January 27, 2011 THAT IS WHAT I AM HOPING Lisa, lol! He IS the type of guy who has loads of friends and is constantly around people, so if he WAS contacted by some one here, and they DID bad mouth me, I am hoping he WOULD act nromal, and ignore me and have nothing further to do with me. Some one on love shack would have to have a very personal grudge against me to say something to him that would make him angry enough at me to bother wasting his time getting revenge. The fact he bothered even sending me a few normal msgs, hopefully means no one congtacted him from love shack; if he was scared off why would he bother taking to me at all? Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I have met him Oh, I got that wrong. I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Leigh, calm down. You made a mistake by posting that info and you're jumping to the worst case scenario. There are way too many "what ifs" in your scenario. What if someone got in touch with him? What if that person doesn't like me? What if he actually listens to them? What if he gets upset (instead of being flattered someone is gushing about him on a forum)? What if he not only gets upset, he also gets angry ? What if he therefore decides to take revenge? That's 6 what ifs. The probability of the scenario coming true diminishes with every single one of those what ifs. If I calculate a 50% probability for each "what ifs", I end up with a 1.5 % chance that your scenario will come true. There is therefore 98.5% chance that your worst case scenario won't come true. Calm down. It'll be all right. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I forgot one more what if. What if that LSer has so little of a life that they decide to also plot against me? That's seven what ifs. We're therefore dropping to a less than 1% chance that the scenario will happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted January 27, 2011 Author Share Posted January 27, 2011 I checked his face book wall, to see if any new ppl had added him in the past day - no one had. is it possible to send some one a msg without adding them first, as a friend? As in, can u sent msges to ppl on face book, bfore they accept your friend request? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted January 27, 2011 Author Share Posted January 27, 2011 Oh no - u can send people a message on face book, before they acceot your friend request. Great. I thought I was in the clear. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I checked his face book wall, to see if any new ppl had added him in the past day - no one had. is it possible to send some one a msg without adding them first, as a friend? As in, can u sent msges to ppl on face book, bfore they accept your friend request? Leigh, the thread has been taken down. He's messaged you since. You have absolutely no proof that anyone got in touch with him - and if they did, I'm guessing he didn't take them too seriously. But to answer your question, yes it is possible to send someone a message without friending them first. That, however, would give this guy access to the "sender's" page. So IF someone got in touch with him, they would actually make themselves vulnerable to a complete stranger. I really think you're worrying over nothing here. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Not to worry Leigh, butttttt.... Once upon a time, someone here, knowing enough details about me to find me, found my then-Match profile and circulated it to a few mean-spirited LSers. Someone (same person?) then started contacting at least 5 guys on Match that they thought I was talking about here, linking them to my threads. They all forwarded me the same cut-and-paste email the gal had used. One of them was a good guy friend of mine; he thought it was funny. I sure didn't. Some people will unfortunately do crazy things. Sharing of private matter, whether that be emails or threads or FB pages, seems like no big deal to many. There really are some horrible people in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
OceanGirl Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Really SG? That's pretty f*)$ed up. I can't believe people are that horrible. Actually I can but it depresses me. Leigh, Honestly you need to calm down. In your other thread you never said anything nasty about the guy. You were just talking about being hurt that he didn't call. There is nothing to worry about even he did see it. Seriously. I had a guy I just started dating see my threads about him (because someone from LS e-mailed him the details). I completely freaked out. He was amused but ultimately wasn't bothered and kept seeing me (my threads about him were a lot worse than your thread). SO DON'T WORRY. The worst case scenario is that it's a bit embarrassing if he saw the thread but he absolutely has no reason to get back at you. I promise you that. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Leigh, are you still thinking about hooking up with him? I don't really think he's worth all the trouble if he's already un-intentionally causing you anxiety attacks. Take a step back, loosen up, and then proceed on seeking out a guy who's at least worthy of sleeping with. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Really SG? That's pretty f*)$ed up. I can't believe people are that horrible. Actually I can but it depresses me. If you only knew, OG. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Leigh, If you are able to take an objective look at your behavior at all, I hope you can see that your reaction to all this is a good indicator that YOU WOULD BE VERY UNWISE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF MAINTAINING A HEALTHY, BALANCED STATE OF MIND IN A NSA CASUAL SEXUAL SITUATION. Please learn from this. Look at your huge overreaction. The thread was removed - it's over - and you are here flogging away at the situation that did not even happen. If somebody DID mess with you via this guy, which would be unfortunate - just move on. You don't even know him; you and he are nothing to each other. Not friends, nothing. Are you still seeing your therapist regularly? Link to post Share on other sites
depplover_1980 Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I strongly agree with Mme Chauncer. You are no where near far enough in your recovery to consider than you could conduct NSA affairs without emotional involvement. The level of paranoia is way beyond a healthy mindset and you should definately talk to your therapist about this episode if you still have one. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I strongly agree with Mme Chauncer. You are no where near far enough in your recovery to consider than you could conduct NSA affairs without emotional involvement. I'd like to add that many of even the most emotionally healthy people cannot handle NSA relationships. There is nothing wrong with being incapable of a FWB/NSA situation! Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 So he is now sending me messages on face book, in the plan of doing something extra mean to me to get back at me for talking about him on the internet; or, whatever bad things the person onlove shack told him about me, could have been enough to annoy him, and so him and the person from love shack could have suggested a nasty plan to get back at me. Leigh - can your clarify: has he actually sent you any messages or any kind of communications that directly indicate that he is upset in any way, or are you just imagining that he might be upset if these scenarios happened? Link to post Share on other sites
depplover_1980 Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I'd like to add that many of even the most emotionally healthy people cannot handle NSA relationships. There is nothing wrong with being incapable of a FWB/NSA situation! I'm not sure where I stated it was easy!.. I posted on the other thread quite a bit with Leigh on the one that got removed so this is a rapid follow up to what we were talking about where I strongly suggested how difficult NSA type involvement could be. Link to post Share on other sites
ReadyforLove Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I really think you need to stop making threads on this situation. You don't even know for sure if someone messaged him. Your entire post is purely hypothetical. And did you really say you hope he doesn't throw eggs at you? Who does that? Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Leigh, I doubt anyone messaged him. He would have given some indication to you if that had been the case. On the other hand, perhaps you are not ready to engage in a R just yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Jannah Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Copy/pasting your conversations was probably not the best thing you could have done…. Had I been in his shoes, I would not respond favorably. Then again, I don’t think he appears to be someone who would mind the extra attention, so who knows. Still, I hope **most** people would have the decency NOT to interfere. What's done is done. Link to post Share on other sites
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