when the challenge is over: death of romance?

[gueststar]

I have been with my bf for two years. in the beginning, he was very expressive of his adoration of me, and would often give me poems, flowers, and/or e-mails to tell me he was thinking of me.

we recently got engaged, and our life has become a lot more fast paced as job/school takes up a lot of energy. the thing is, i still make the little things a priority. even if it is just a quick note that says i care. i don't get that from him anymore. he rarely goes out of his way anymore. we go to the typical dinner and movie once a week, but it's starting to feel routine and like he's just doing it to shut me up.

i tried to tell him that the little expressions of love still mattered to me, and that i still need them in the relationship, but he told me that he is often too busy to even think of it, and those kinds of things don't just take a second. he told me that is just life, and to get used to it, and that he tries his best. i was hurt when he told me this..

he has time for his friends and his porn viewing aside from work.. so he has no excuse in my book as far as not having the time to do the little things. i don't want to have to ask him to do it in the first place..

i just don't know what to do. the relationship in itself is good, but it is going to start becoming just a shell of one.. nothing inside. i'm very sad over all this.

i'm just wondering.. is this the way guys become after they've been with a chic for awhile? they stop trying to impress? perhaps we're just not challenges anymore....

 

thanks for any opinion

[Arabess]

Some guys don't....but many do. I also think females let the ball drop as the relationship gets more comfortable.

 

Maybe you could make some compromises with him. Let him know those 'little sweet things' are a big turn on for you and it'll come back to make him QUITE happy if he remembers it. Some guys just need a little love nudge once in awhile.......