chelle21689 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I think I want to do "No Contact" with my ex but I'm scared to death that after months I'd be losing all of our communication and him as a confidant. I've known him for almost 10 years since I was 12. We went out for 5.5 years...so we have a huge history together. We've always had great communication! I HEAR "NC" will make me heal faster and get over him. But I'm scared that I'll just miss him like CRAZY and that I'd be losing my ex forever. I can't just lose someone that I've known so long in my life. He definitely wants us to be friends and I know it won't be as a crutch although I'm still scared. Scared that keeping contact with him will make my healing process slow but so far I've just been happy to talk to him. We were talking about how our feelings were and how we were doing and that it was difficult. It's weird, I feel like he loves me a lot but I know he isn't in love with me anymore if that makes sense. He's still attracted, we had great sex, and no problems in our relationship. He felt his feelings change and said he tried for it to come back...but it didn't. He thinks long distance and the Army contributed..but he's UNSURE why his feelings changed but wish it'd go back... He said he can't continue to string me along when his feelings aren't like mine. He said this was unreal what happened to us....
D78 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I was friends with my ex for years before we dated, too. It took a really long time to imagine my life without him. Breaking up was like a double kick in the stomach - I lost my love and my best friend. I think if we were meant to be friends, it will happen sometime in the future. I understand why your scared of NC, but it might be necessary for you. Just ask yourself how you will feel if he mentions his new girlfriend in 2 weeks? If your break up was a surprise to you, there's a good chance he's already way ahead of you in terms of recovery and might find a new SO fast. Do you think that will help you heal? Also, we should all be strong enough to not rely on one person to make us happy. It's really not fair to us or the person. So, use NC to become strong enough to love life, even without your ex as your friend. Then, if you want to be his friend, you can be friends on a healthier level. I'm sorry you're going through this. Good luck.
Author chelle21689 Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 Wow, two weeks? I think even though right now he is sad that he'll be moving on faster than me. I love him so much...I hope one day we will be together again.
edgeofdarkness Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 dont hope, never hope, you pin yr futr on hopes and yr life pases u by. Move on, and lerrn to live without the crutch of a SO. You can do it porviding u realise that yr worth yor attention,. you can do it, becus actualy youv done it this far, oh yeah, you have.
z00m25 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 keeping contact will make it harder for you in the long run. its def helping me and ive been told time will heal all things. where im no where near over her i know that with each passing day im getting stronger and making myself into a better person. plus i finally started to sleep again things can only get better from here.
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