richbad08 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Its been 6 months since my ex girlfriend and I broke up. We were together for 2 years. The whole time we were broken up she's been giving me mixed signals. Randomly she will call and ask how i'am or even want to get diner and then we can go 4 or 5 days without any contact. She happens to call or text me before I even call her. Lately though i've been doing NC because I feel like she gets the best of both worlds as far as her doing whatever she wants and then when she wants to hangout she will call me to do so. I don't want to be the fallback guy and I just don't know exactly what she wants so what im doing is simply NC so she gets to miss me more I guess and see how it is to really not be with me. If she is still giving me mixed signals should I just continue NC or talk to her once in awhile? Whats your take?
0hpenelope Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Lately though i've been doing NC because I feel like she gets the best of both worlds as far as her doing whatever she wants and then when she wants to hangout she will call me to do so. ..... If she is still giving me mixed signals should I just continue NC or talk to her once in awhile? Whats your take? Yes, she's getting the best of both worlds. You're not ready to be her casual acquaintance, let alone your friend. You need to heal. If I were in your position, I'd go NC as soon as possible because I already know that being in touch with the ex is painful that even going LC is bad, too. I don't want to be the fallback guy and I just don't know exactly what she wants so what im doing is simply NC so she gets to miss me more I guess and see how it is to really not be with me. When two people have had time apart and changed themselves, I believe that some reunite w/o thinking they're each other's "fallbacks." The second chance isn't supposed to be a continuation of the first relationship because something was broken w/ the first go-around in the first place. Second chances are possible, but so many of those second chances happen too hastily. That's what I've seen with break-up/make-up dynamics. I'm going to guess that's not the kind of reunion you'd want for yourself with anyone. Really, focus on yourself. She's not doing herself a favor too by messing around with you like this. If anything (and I'm not encouraging hope in you here), if a second chance is possible, she's ruining her own chances if she wants you back. You're going to look back on this and ask yourself "How could she play me like that? So inconsiderate. She let me go, why couldn't she leave me alone?" Heal yourself and just let her go. It'll be hard not to hear her voice or share with her awesome things. You'll carry her memories wherever you go, but they will be bearable eventually. Ignore her phone calls, her attempts to stay in touch. Bring closure for yourself. It feels really good to be on this side.
Shatter3d Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 (edited) I would go NC and if she does text you about small talk i.e crumbs just ignore it. If you really want her back, the only instance I would break NC is if she reaches out, apologises for her mistakes and asks for a 2nd chance, if or when that happens stick with NC. All the best, keep us updated. Edited January 27, 2011 by Shatter3d
Author richbad08 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 Yes both of you are right about this. Latetly I've felt like im loosing more and more feelings about her I think because she keeps pushing me away and I feel like she's trying to hard to be friends with more guys and keeping herself busy with other people. She always ask when I randomly see her if Iam mad at her or why haven't I returned her calls. Yes Im still doing NC as far as calls, texts or any contact what so ever. Although I see her randomly at my university which is the only downside.
0hpenelope Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 Yes both of you are right about this. Latetly I've felt like im loosing more and more feelings about her I think because she keeps pushing me away and I feel like she's trying to hard to be friends with more guys and keeping herself busy with other people. Yes, that's her business. Don't assume anymore. Do not care about her or interpret her reasons for doing what she does. Losing feelings for her is what you want so that - She always ask when I randomly see her if Iam mad at her or why haven't I returned her calls. Yes Im still doing NC as far as calls, texts or any contact what so ever. Although I see her randomly at my university which is the only downside. - when you see her at the university, you'll stop seeing her as your ex-girlfriend. Rather, once you heal and move on, you'll see her as just some other girl that you see on campus. No effect on you, nothing. Some of the dumpers spoken about on these boards are capable of just cutting their exes off emotionally. If they can do it, why can't we? Heck yeah we can. We'll let them go. That's what they want. Give her all the space that she wants and you'll do your own thing. You will be okay. This is a clear-cut scenario, rich. She just doesn't want bad vibes between the two of you, but she's not allowing you to heal for the sake of making herself feel better. She wants to be "on good terms" for superficial reasons. She will not admit to this because it's the truth. Disappear as best you can and you'll see, she's going to be just another random girl you see on campus. That's detachment. That's healing.
Author richbad08 Posted January 29, 2011 Author Posted January 29, 2011 Yes, that's her business. Don't assume anymore. Do not care about her or interpret her reasons for doing what she does. Losing feelings for her is what you want so that - - when you see her at the university, you'll stop seeing her as your ex-girlfriend. Rather, once you heal and move on, you'll see her as just some other girl that you see on campus. No effect on you, nothing. Some of the dumpers spoken about on these boards are capable of just cutting their exes off emotionally. If they can do it, why can't we? Heck yeah we can. We'll let them go. That's what they want. Give her all the space that she wants and you'll do your own thing. You will be okay. This is a clear-cut scenario, rich. She just doesn't want bad vibes between the two of you, but she's not allowing you to heal for the sake of making herself feel better. She wants to be "on good terms" for superficial reasons. She will not admit to this because it's the truth. Disappear as best you can and you'll see, she's going to be just another random girl you see on campus. That's detachment. That's healing. Thank you I appreciate the advice. Im still doing NC and I don't have any plans on breaking it. I do feel better moving on and doing my own thing. She still contacts me like she did last night at 1 in the morning last night. Why 1 in the morning? Who knows. Ill keep you guys posted to get advice from you I do feel better hearing from everyone. Thanks again.
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