Jamesith Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 So over the course of time, I've been away I moved to Texas. Recently move back to California, worst decision to move out there. Now I've learned who I am and what I will and will not tolerate. Crazy how 1 year can really put things into perspective. I'm going to college taking digital arts classes. keeping my life occupied. Making videos on YouTube. Still single as ever, I do know what I'm looking for in a partner, its just getting myself to get back in the game. But its difficult when other relationships including my parents ended in divorce. I feel like I've wasted time and energy... Anyone think I'm thinking to much into this, Its been a 2 years and I have not dated anyone. Talk about a dry spell. Any words of advice or wisdom?
january2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Are you taking up as many opportunities as possible to meet new people, especially women? Are you approaching girls you're interested in and asking them out? If not, I'm not surprised that you haven't dated, you've not created enough opportunities for yourself to date. In my experience, these things rarely happen by chance, especially not for guys, where even today's social norms require that they do a good amount of the initiating.
Author Jamesith Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 I meet new people but not enough. Like ill make an effort to make friends but being shy is something I aim at breaking sooner than later. And thats where in the past what 3 years I had more girls who were friends than guys. But never made the effort to push further with some of the girls that I was interested in. As to the second question, I haven't really noticed any girls in my classes and or college campus yet since I just moved back to my home state. Plus being fixated on 1 person 4 years ago didn't help me either, wasted time now that I look back. But I do wanna ask this one girl out, though she has no idea who I am. And being somewhat of semi-Celeb I don't see it happening just gotta settle for less. And I guess in a sense, I throw myself out before I can even make a move to ask someone out to coffee or to get to know them better.
january2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I meet new people but not enough. Like ill make an effort to make friends but being shy is something I aim at breaking sooner than later. And thats where in the past what 3 years I had more girls who were friends than guys. But never made the effort to push further with some of the girls that I was interested in. As to the second question, I haven't really noticed any girls in my classes and or college campus yet since I just moved back to my home state. Plus being fixated on 1 person 4 years ago didn't help me either, wasted time now that I look back. But I do wanna ask this one girl out, though she has no idea who I am. And being somewhat of semi-Celeb I don't see it happening just gotta settle for less. And I guess in a sense, I throw myself out before I can even make a move to ask someone out to coffee or to get to know them better. I think that all this is pretty important in terms of feeding into why you haven't dated in the last two years. Including it in your OP would have been very helpful. Regarding your shyness, here is a recent thread from a poster making his first steps in dating. You might find it useful in testing out some of his strategies and if nothing else at least it's a demonstration of what can be achieved with a little step outside of your comfort zone: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t261968/ And yes, I agree with your last paragraph. At the bare minimum, talk to the girl. Start by just smiling and saying, "Hi". If she blows you off, then at least you know it's not worth asking her out on a date, at least not yet. Start with baby steps outside of your comfort zone (as in the linked thread) and then keep going. Eventually, you will get there.
Author Jamesith Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 Thanks for the link to that thread, I just got through reading it. Such an inspiration. Going back to my post, yeah I agree. I watch all of her videos on YouTube. And almost got the chance to meet her in Vegas when I visited my dad, But I couldnt pay for CES, so I lucked out. Oh well ill meet her some day. =]
Author Jamesith Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 Anyways now that I'm done with classes today, my lab spot was taken but the teacher put me next to this really sweet girl. We made small talk, but for some reason I'm not like oh yeah! I don't get it, maybe being fixated for so long threw my perspectives off balance but I sure would like to be able to share my life with someone and not say single.
january2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Keeping putting yourself out there. Keep doing the small talk. Baby steps.
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