xpaperxcutx Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Because given my track record with men, I truly think I'm undateable.
Cracker Jack Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Well, you're definitely pretty:love: Probably just a tough time for you in the dating world at the moment. You shouldn't believe no one would want to date you.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 Okay I really didn't want to elaborate on my traits, but despite how much I try to change myself, I still feel inadequate and insecure. Truthfully, I'm nice, but sometimes I allow people to take advantage of me and I become a doormat. Or at least that was how I'd been. Nowadays, I'm more alert and more closed off. I have problems trusting people, and I seem to think most guys have ulterior motives ( namely sex).
TouchedByViolet Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Okay I really didn't want to elaborate on my traits, but despite how much I try to change myself, I still feel inadequate and insecure. Truthfully, I'm nice, but sometimes I allow people to take advantage of me and I become a doormat. Or at least that was how I'd been. Nowadays, I'm more alert and more closed off. I have problems trusting people, and I seem to think most guys have ulterior motives ( namely sex). Knowing these things I would not date you. I am not looking for just sex, and I find strong women attractive. You are nice though which makes me think at the core you are great, but your history has created some relationship challenges that make having a LTR not possible. Self improvement is the answer, then you can put that hot body to use for a relationship!
dispatch3d Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 meh, the latter part of the above paragraph are probably why you are havin it difficult.
Lovelybird Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Are your parents the first generation of immigrants? Asian culture is quite different from here
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 Knowing these things I would not date you. I am not looking for just sex, and I find strong women attractive. You are nice though which makes me think at the core you are great, but your history has created some relationship challenges that make having a LTR not possible. Self improvement is the answer, then you can put that hot body to use for a relationship! I'm nice as far as being polite, but lately I've grown somewhat snobby, or been called snobby. The thing is people tend to think I'm disinterested or annoyed when I'm far from it. I did have a friend comment that sometimes when I get quiet, I get a far off look on my face that makes me look bored or disinterested.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 Are your parents the first generation of immigrants? Asian culture is quite different from here Yes, and I'd been the rebellious daughter.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 meh, the latter part of the above paragraph are probably why you are havin it difficult. Guys may have their insecurities, but being a girl, it's even worse.
Knittress Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Because given my track record with men, I truly think I'm undateable. What? Why are you asking this? I thought you were steadily dating TWO people right now?
Jannah Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Question - in the avie photos of yourself you've had here, how come there are no smiles?
Lovelybird Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I am not looking for just sex, Really? I think the man hurt her has this line of thinking also I think a woman can discern which is used for sex, which is loved by a man. What men usually talk don't make it true unless they show it
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 What? Why are you asking this? I thought you were steadily dating TWO people right now? Lol good question. I'm dating my gf right now, but the guy didn't work out. I just don't understand why I can't keep a boyfriend. Thats the question.
january2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Because given my track record with men, I truly think I'm undateable. I'm not into women so can't answer the main question. But based on your posts/threads saying that you've had dates in the past, recent ones at that, no, you're not undateable. And some posters here haven't even had any recent dates, so I'd say you're doing pretty well.
TouchedByViolet Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 You need to figure out why you are devaluing yourself so much. Your tone in this thread is depressing. Is your life falling apart or something?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 I'm not into women so can't answer the main question. But based on your posts/threads saying that you've had dates in the past, recent ones at that, no, you're not undateable. And some posters here haven't even had any recent dates, so I'd say you're doing pretty well. Actually my recent threads have been tame compared to when I first joined LS. It's true what they say, you learn from your past. I just learn to not be a doormat.
Lovelybird Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Yes, and I'd been the rebellious daughter. then there must be some major cultural conflict you have to deal with.
Eddie Edirol Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Okay I really didn't want to elaborate on my traits, but despite how much I try to change myself, I still feel inadequate and insecure. Truthfully, I'm nice, but sometimes I allow people to take advantage of me and I become a doormat. Or at least that was how I'd been. Nowadays, I'm more alert and more closed off. I have problems trusting people, and I seem to think most guys have ulterior motives ( namely sex). If you will continue to enjoy feeling insecure just to feel insecure, you will be undatable. if you continue to try to please everyone because you cant handle people thinking you are a bad person, you will keep being a doormat. And if you just paint guys with a broad brush to be untrustable out of ignorance, instead of doing the homework to gain knowledge to tell the trustworthy from the untrustworthy, you might be a redneck...I mean you will be undatable. Im sure youve dated enough guys to know what actions you cant trust from the get go.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 then there must be some major cultural conflict you have to deal with. The only conflict I deal with is the cultural divide and how my traditional parents want me to be a certain way. If you will continue to enjoy feeling insecure just to feel insecure, you will be undatable. if you continue to try to please everyone because you cant handle people thinking you are a bad person, you will keep being a doormat. And if you just paint guys with a broad brush to be untrustable out of ignorance, instead of doing the homework to gain knowledge to tell the trustworthy from the untrustworthy, you might be a redneck...I mean you will be undatable. Im sure youve dated enough guys to know what actions you cant trust from the get go. I don't enjoy being insecure, I grew up insecure. I am confident but sometimes I do get those days when I just don't like myself. I don't please everyone, at least not like I used to. I just dont put up with it anymore, and when people test my patience, I simply move on. As for my trust in men, I'm very guarded when it comes to opening myself up. I have known people who used my secrets against and I'm not doing that again.
Sanman Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 (edited) Papercut, I've always liked your presence here and I don't think anyone is truly undateable. I've seen barely functional drug addicts that are married at work. However, from what I know about you it may be difficult for you to find a guy. I'm not going to mention personality traits as I do not know you well. However, in addition to the usual issues one goes through in a relationship, dating a bisexual takes extra work (so does being one really). I've had two relationships with bisexual women and a range of issues have arisen that would not have otherwise. These have included questions about sexuality and a tendency to co-mingle friends and lovers much more than usual (my perception based on my relationships). I feel like the label bisexual tends to bring forth a lot of men who are after only sex and scare away some of the more relationship minded guys. It really is an unfair thing. I,myself, struggled with these issues in both relationships. On the flip side, I know many lesbians feel the same way as well and tend to shun bisexuals. Either way, it is more work and something that many will not want to do. Coming from a traditional culture, I think the issues will be even more difficult (I know as I come from one as well). Sorry if this is not what you meant by this, but the topic was a bit vague. I just wanted to add, that in my belief sexuality is linked back to personality. It has to do with not being able to easily fit in a mold or please others. Edited January 27, 2011 by Sanman
hydorclops Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 xpaperxcutx, Yikes I thought you had your **** together. From your posts I thought you were tough and adventurous. Maybe I wasn't paying attention. Sorry to hear things aren't so good.
Sanman Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I just wanted to add, that in my belief sexuality is linked back to personality. It has to do with not being able to easily fit in a mold or please others. This history of not fitting in may have a lot to do with your insecurity. That, in turn, may make your partner insecure. You mentioned that when things test your patience you simply move on. Could it be that you feel insecure and simply are not giving relationships a chance due to your trust issues with men and fear of real intimacy with them? If you are not willing to trust and have real intimacy with a bf, then you can't really succeed in a relationship, IMO.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 xpaperxcutx, Yikes I thought you had your **** together. From your posts I thought you were tough and adventurous. Maybe I wasn't paying attention. Sorry to hear things aren't so good. Yeah it's okay. I have my off days as well.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 Papercut, I've always liked your presence here and I don't think anyone is truly undateable. I've seen barely functional drug addicts that are married at work. However, from what I know about you it may be difficult for you to find a guy. I'm not going to mention personality traits as I do not know you well. However, in addition to the usual issues one goes through in a relationship, dating a bisexual takes extra work (so does being one really). I've had two relationships with bisexual women and a range of issues have arisen that would not have otherwise. These have included questions about sexuality and a tendency to co-mingle friends and lovers much more than usual (my perception based on my relationships). I feel like the label bisexual tends to bring forth a lot of men who are after only sex and scare away some of the more relationship minded guys. It really is an unfair thing. I,myself, struggled with these issues in both relationships. On the flip side, I know many lesbians feel the same way as well and tend to shun bisexuals. Either way, it is more work and something that many will not want to do. Coming from a traditional culture, I think the issues will be even more difficult (I know as I come from one as well). Sorry if this is not what you meant by this, but the topic was a bit vague. I just wanted to add, that in my belief sexuality is linked back to personality. It has to do with not being able to easily fit in a mold or please others. This history of not fitting in may have a lot to do with your insecurity. That, in turn, may make your partner insecure. You mentioned that when things test your patience you simply move on. Could it be that you feel insecure and simply are not giving relationships a chance due to your trust issues with men and fear of real intimacy with them? If you are not willing to trust and have real intimacy with a bf, then you can't really succeed in a relationship, IMO. You'd hit some major points in your posts Sanman, especially in your latter post. People can't really tell I'm insecure because they always see me at my best. Yet, as I've mentioned I tend to be slightly withdrawn sometimes when I'm quiet, so that often comes acress as intimidating. I always get asked what I'm thinking about when I get quiet, even though I don't think about anything at all. Sometimes I intimidate people even I'm not doing anything except sitting quietly.
Sanman Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 You'd hit some major points in your posts Sanman, especially in your latter post. People can't really tell I'm insecure because they always see me at my best. Yet, as I've mentioned I tend to be slightly withdrawn sometimes when I'm quiet, so that often comes acress as intimidating. I always get asked what I'm thinking about when I get quiet, even though I don't think about anything at all. Sometimes I intimidate people even I'm not doing anything except sitting quietly. I feel for you there. I'm a fairly talkative guy usually, so when I am quiet people often have the same reaction to me. Truth is that I am usually just not in a mood to talk and have my introverted moments as well.
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