xpaperxcutx Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 we say ****ing for the most part. Sexin the other times. :lmao: wildin' !!!
dispatch3d Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 You seriously think that 7th date is too early for sex??? who gives a **** about when some guy or girl on the internet thinks its appropriate to have sex. However, if a huge thread of people are calling you selfish - even in a character-attacking mean-spirited way - then perhaps you're a little selfish. That kind of "harsh" advice is probably what helped you get to where you were, and more of it may help you. Not saying take all of the negativity at face value or anything. Hell I didn't read the thread because I figured (a) it'd turn into that (b) lol seriously, 5 hours and u still find something negative? Haha anyways I won't pick anymore. Best of luck!
SunsetRed Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I use the term "being intimate." I'll refer to the "last time we were intimate" or "during intimacy" etc. I just always a phrase with the word intimacy in it.
anne1707 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I asked for advice and yet AGAIN everyone sided with the guy in question. I felt it was going off track at around page 4-5 and that's when I stopped reading. I couldn't believe the negativity directed at me. I am not going to be a masochist and make myself read something that only makes me upset. I will try and not post any more serious threads about my new relationship. I will see what happens naturally. Does it not cross your mind that maybe everybody else is right and that it's you whose wrong? When your behaviour is so extreme at times, can you really expect the majority of posters to be siding with you all the time? You asked for opinions and you got opinions unfortunately for you they were not the ones you wanted to hear. People also get incredibly frustrated because you repeatedly start threads and then abandon them - do you really expect people to take you seriously when you do not seem to have the maturity to take constructive criticism?
edgeofdarkness Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I mean when you talk to them about it. Do you refer to it as "having sex" "making love" "screwing" or other? bang-fest.
edgeofdarkness Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 .... Unfortunately, I learn best from experience rather than advice. then thers a clue. stop posting, if u dont lisen, why ask for advice????? u post coontless times but u dont follow wht people asdvice. thats not shatring, thats attnesion=seeking.
Emilia Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I mean when you talk to them about it. Do you refer to it as "having sex" "making love" "screwing" or other? pounding or f***ing. I'm 38 I'm not precious about it anymore
Titania22 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 do you really expect people to take you seriously when you do not seem to have the maturity to take constructive criticism? You know that other thread, wasn't merely some constructive criticism, it was 12 pages of beating OG over the head for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. It must be so wonderful, that you are all so perfect, that you never say the wrong thing and the wrong time, and you always communicate flawlessly, no matter how much sleep you haven't had, and despite a level of pain and discomfort. However the rest of us, including OG are human, and we don't get it right perfectly every time. Some of us still get it wrong alot of the time.
Author OceanGirl Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 You could have looked at the other side too. Why wasn't he more sensitive to the fact that after 5 hours of pounding in 1 night I must be really sore? He should have known and could have said "It's OK, I will finish myself up" but no, he kept going. I find it strange that noone (except for Titania) even mentioned that. I feel like the advice would be different if I posted from an anonymous user name. That's what bothers me the most, not the advice or criticism. I feel like my actions/faults are overblown and people have preconceived ideas about me and won't give me benefit of the doubt or even acknowledge any of the progress I have made. BTW he seems to have completely "forgiven" me. He texted me this morning with a very affectionate text and called me tonight and was on the phone for 30 minutes telling me that he wishes I was with him.
oaks Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 BTW he seems to have completely "forgiven" me. He texted me this morning with a very affectionate text and called me tonight and was on the phone for 30 minutes telling me that he wishes I was with him. I think I need more characters than just a bunny, so I'll add that I think this is good even though the bunny is enough.
sweetjasmine Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 You know that other thread, wasn't merely some constructive criticism, it was 12 pages of beating OG over the head for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. It was more than saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. It was saying several wrong things that never have a right time to be said and then not even admitting that it was a very hurtful thing to do. It was refraining from apologizing for it. It was refusing to acknowledge how she hurt his feelings and instead focusing neurotically on what it means about her level of attractiveness. I mean, look: In a silly way I probably wanted to do it again as I hoped that he will come quicker thus proving that I am attractive So she wanted to have sex with him the third time to make him come faster so he could prove how attracted he was to her. Yet it's his fault for being so insensitive as to have sex with her 3 times while wearing condoms that are too small. How dare he make her have sex like that so many times? It must be so wonderful, that you are all so perfect, that you never say the wrong thing and the wrong time, and you always communicate flawlessly, no matter how much sleep you haven't had, and despite a level of pain and discomfort. When I screw up, I APOLOGIZE for it instead of running away and getting super defensive. When I step on someone's toe, I don't worry about whether they like me anymore. I say I'M SORRY. When I say something hurtful to someone I care about, I apologize instead of thinking, "They're not going to like me anymore!" because I'm more concerned about their feelings. I don't sit there and say, "Well, YOU should've been more sensitive. Then I wouldn't have said it!" And in a situation where people are sleeping together, everyone's much more sensitive since they're sharing a very private part of themselves, and mean comments (that's what they were -- straight-up mean) hurt even more. If any friend of mine had been on the receiving end of that kind of awful treatment and came to me for advice, I would be floored and would tell them to just move on. What she did shows a total lack of respect, empathy, and sensitivity. Coddling her and saying, "Awwww, it's okay, sweetie, it was his fault, anyway!" isn't going to help. I'm not going to assist someone in treating other people like garbage.
Emilia Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 You could have looked at the other side too. Why wasn't he more sensitive to the fact that after 5 hours of pounding in 1 night I must be really sore? He should have known and could have said "It's OK, I will finish myself up" but no, he kept going. I find it strange that noone (except for Titania) even mentioned that. because you have to tell a guy when it feels that way , he won't necessarily know. you are responsible for your own body, not him. this is what lube is for
Titania22 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 because you have to tell a guy when it feels that way , he won't necessarily know. you are responsible for your own body, not him. this is what lube is for And the point being, that's sometimes by the time we realise we should have spoken up, we are in so much pain, we can't think of the sweetest way to make it known, so that it coddles his feelings. It just has to stop now, and then it's all we can do not to start a massive attacking argument. I don't understand why you girls are being so uncompassionate. OG obviously really wants a boyfriend, she has for ages, and now she found someone that seemed good in everyway. And then this happened. It's like virtually the same thing i just went through, only my guy wasn't particularly endowed, and it didn't take me 5hours, to get completely annoyed with the sex, and post on here the next day in barely restrained anger. Of course she tried hard to give the sex everything she had, pulling out all the tricks, to try to make the sex work, but it takes 2. No one even asked her if she had an orgasm in that 5hrs, you just assume she did, no one asked if he even tried or offered to give her an orgasm, no one asked if he was actively doing anything. You just all assume, he was going for it and she was just lying there getting bored. Grow up, and learn some compassion yourselves. Fortunately for me, the crowd, was more compassionate to me. I accepted the flaws in the way I dealt with the situation and also the lack of interest from my partner and broke up with him ina compassionate way and we are still friends. But I'll a saint the day I can rationally think about someone elses feelings when I am in pain.
Emilia Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I don't understand why you girls are being so uncompassionate. . because she is in her 30s and she is acting like some silly 18 year-old princess. that's why
Els Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I don't understand why you girls are being so uncompassionate. OG obviously really wants a boyfriend, she has for ages, and now she found someone that seemed good in everyway. And then this happened. Sigh. Nothing 'happened'. He took 90 minutes the first time already. She accepted round 2 and 3 (what, does anyone really think it gets shorter within the day?). She said something REALLY nasty. She didn't apologize for it, at any time. She constantly worried that he may not like her anymore because he didn't text her fast enough after that, or that they may be incompatible due to the bad first time sex, instead of even THINKING about her comment. She merely ignored the guy when he said, "You didn't really enjoy yourself but it was okay". She said after that, "I hope this doesn't happen again the next time". Look, if we can't tell other people they're wrong just because we've been wrong in other ways before, then this forum shouldn't even exist, because everyone will only be saying, "You're right!". That'd be like saying that OG has no right to tell anyone else they're wrong in any thread, because she did this. I agree some posters were rather harsh on her, but as of yet she has STILL NOT ADMITTED ANY FAULT SHE HAD IN IT. Stop making it just sound like a one-off, "Oops, I was in pain so I blurted out something bad" thing.
Kamille Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 She has admitted she did something wrong: I have already learned a lot from my mistakes. If I haven't, I would still be stuck in unrequited love scenario with my boss. I still have a lot to learn. If this relationship doesn't work out (and I am fully aware of the fact that it most likely won't) I will learn not to criticize man's sexual performance, at least not as early on and at least not as tactlessly as I did. Unfortunately, I learn best from experience rather than advice.
Kamille Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 You could have looked at the other side too. Why wasn't he more sensitive to the fact that after 5 hours of pounding in 1 night I must be really sore? He should have known and could have said "It's OK, I will finish myself up" but no, he kept going. I find it strange that noone (except for Titania) even mentioned that. That's because it's not his job to "guess" that you're sore. It's your job to communicate that you need a break - in a tactful, sensitive manner that doesn't pin the blame on him for "not guessing" what's going on with you. You cannot hold him responsible for your lack of communication. Had you communicated your need for a break and then he continued, then yes, he would have been rude. As it is, he had no idea. I mean - you even started some of those marathon sessions! I feel like the advice would be different if I posted from an anonymous user name. That's what bothers me the most, not the advice or criticism. I feel like my actions/faults are overblown and people have preconceived ideas about me and won't give me benefit of the doubt or even acknowledge any of the progress I have made. I agree with you here. BTW he seems to have completely "forgiven" me. He texted me this morning with a very affectionate text and called me tonight and was on the phone for 30 minutes telling me that he wishes I was with him. I'm glad!
Star Gazer Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 LS would have had the same reaction for ANYONE who behaved the way you did OG, who seemed unrepentant and like it was all his fault (which you're continuing to do, btw). Had your thread started off with, "I said something I shouldn't have..." and asked for help about how to repair the damage done, you would have received that compassion. But you didn't do that. Instead, you were more concerned about his inability to cum's meaning for you. From started to finish, your thread said, "I am selfish." There wasn't one word to even suggest you felt bad about the way you made him feel, or even a recognition that his feelings were hurt!!!
carhill Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 OP, while YMMV, IME, there's no dickinsider before 'I love you', so, for me, it's making love. You learned some stuff and you have man in front of you who's willing to work through this stuff with you if I read your prior post in this thread correctly. Take the lessons, and the man, and proceed. Good luck
zengirl Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 (edited) You could have looked at the other side too. Why wasn't he more sensitive to the fact that after 5 hours of pounding in 1 night I must be really sore? He should have known and could have said "It's OK, I will finish myself up" but no, he kept going. I find it strange that noone (except for Titania) even mentioned that. Because I believe women are responsible for their own sexual experience, too. He can't read your mind. If you're sore and hurting (some women do like marathon sessions), say so. If you'd asked for a break, and he'd made a huff about it, of course he'd be a jerk. But that doesn't seem like something this guy would do. Maybe that's something you can work on with him -- the sexual communication. No, you shouldn't be uncomfortable, but he can't read your mind. Glad you feel like things are back on track. Hopefully you can improve this communication in the future. No one even asked her if she had an orgasm in that 5hrs, you just assume she did, no one asked if he even tried or offered to give her an orgasm, no one asked if he was actively doing anything. Actually, not going to dig through the thread, but I believe OG was asked several clarifying questions earlier on, including the orgasm one, and she didn't respond to them. A lot of the reasons her threads go so far off-bounds is because she runs away from them. She admitted in this thread that she did some things wrong -- and learned from them -- and that's excellent as well. Why not say that in the other thread earlier? It would've have been much more productive. The reason it goes round and round so much is usually that she abandons it when she sees anything she doesn't like. Edited January 27, 2011 by zengirl
Lovelybird Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 OG, I think you and your bf are too eager seeking closeness and intimacy very early on. If you are so in love and know each other so well, these anxieties or doubts won't even happen. If you two trust each other deeply, sex won't be a perfermance, it becomes connection and adventure to know each other more deeply. anyway I believe mordern day people let their body run ahead of their hearts. Although they seek same thing, they can take wrong road
Ariadne Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Why wasn't he more sensitive to the fact that after 5 hours of pounding in 1 night I must be really sore?...BTW he seems to have completely "forgiven" me. I know! I mean, you let him have sex for all that time, he should be happy and thankful. I don't get these people either. Enjoy the new romance!
Emilia Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I know! I mean, you let him have sex for all that time, he should be happy and thankful. I don't get these people either. Enjoy the new romance! what do you mean 'let'? it's supposed to be a mutually beneficial experience, not 'letting' anyone do anything
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