sharmayne20 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Hi, new to the forum! I couldnt find a site anywhere that i could voice my concerns, and found other women in similar situations as mine. So the story goes, my BF and i have been together for almost 10 months. For me its a long time, its my first real relationship and my first love. The entire time that my boyfriend and i have been going out theres always been problems, little ones and big ones but we have managed to work them through. The one continous problem i have is his ex. She is a real nutter, alcoholic, physico, been in mental instituations ... basically the worst. Every time she gets a new boyfriend.. they ring my boyfriend. She goes on a bender or all hell breaks loose and her boyfriend will ring mine for advice at first i was fine with it. But now its pissing me off! She rings him when ever her and her boyfriend has had a fight (there have been multiple boyfriends and girlfriends throughout the pass 10 months) or he wants advice... They speak to each other on special occasions, each others birthdays, christmas, easter, australia day and new years... i try and voice that i am annoyed and really upset that special occasions seem to be saved for his ex... and if i voice my opionions we get into a fight and refuses to listen to me ... we havent spoken now since yesturday afternoon because he spoke to his ex and her new man for hours yesturday on Australia day. Am i overreacting because im jealous .. or do i have something to be concerned with.. Please help!
whichwayisup Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 You need to address this with him. Isn't just her, he's encouraged the friendship over the years, she relies on him for input in her life, her boyfriends, issues, etc, etc.. It's not a one way street like he doesn't want her to call and she's interferring. Has he given you any reasons to be jealous? Flirted with her, seen her one on one, cheated on you with her? If no, then try to accept their friendship. She is a mess and sounds like a nightmare but from what you've said, she seems harmles, yet more of a pain in the butt. Talk to him and tell him your worries and go from there. Hopefully he'll understand that her relying on him is happening way too much and she needs to rely on other friends, family not just him. Hope this helps.
Lil1 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 F that BS!! There is no reason why your boyfriend should still keep contact with his crazy ex. Especially when he knows that it bothers you. Would he put up with it if he were in your shoes? It's a cause to worry when you say, "and if i voice my opionions we get into a fight and refuses to listen to me". Why should you voicing your opinions, when they are entirely legitimate, make him angry? If anything he should at least be understanding as to why you would disapprove of him still keeping contact with his ex. I say nip that ish in the bud lady! If he cant understand where you are coming from - if he wont even listen to your reasons, then perhaps he is not deserving of your love. Maybe try putting him in your shoes - what if you kept in touch with your exes? I'm not saying thats what you should do, but he should think about that. I think that your concerns are genuine and he shoould treat them with more respect out of the love you two share.
Recommended Posts