cerridwen Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Have you found it hard to be serious about someone who isn't from the same political party as you? Have differing political affiliations caused problems in your relationship? I always thought it would be a problem but I miss the debates with my ex. I grew immensely and developed an appreciation for his party's views. Would you hesitate dating someone from another party?
Woggle Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 If I were single it would not be too much of an issue unless she was a Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann type. That would annoy the hell out of me. James Carville and Mary Matalin seem to make it work.
Author cerridwen Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 James Carville and Mary Matalin seem to make it work. Excellent example. I forgot about them. I suppose just like in any other area of a relationship, respect for differences play a fundamental role.
just_some_guy Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Not at all. Unless the other person was strictly dogmatic and unthinking in her position.
Duckduckgoose Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Hmm... being a liberal/libertarian... and going to a church I will probably end up dating some conservative type fellows in the future. I will try to build on the common grounds we have. I hate political debates with a SO and will avoid them as much as possible. I do like guns and hunting, that's about the only area I am conservative in, the rest I am pretty open about. That would be common interests. Otherwise I would either have to tell him "Agree to Disagree or GTFO". Living in the Bible Belt as a Christian/Pagan I know I'm gonna catch lots of hell unless I am very sneaky about who I am. It would be nice to meet a mate that is Christian but also open minded as I am. Especially when he sees the tarantulas.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Give me a liberal or give me death. Oh say can you see, no Republicans near me....
Author cerridwen Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 (edited) Give me a liberal or give me death. Oh say can you see, no Republicans near me.... Have you ever tried it Feelin? If no, why not? Is it as simple as your political beliefs are so strong and important to you, it's difficult/annoying/(other adjective) to deal with a Republican? Edited January 27, 2011 by cerridwen
Author cerridwen Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 Hmm... being a liberal/libertarian... and going to a church I will probably end up dating some conservative type fellows in the future. I will try to build on the common grounds we have. I hate political debates with a SO and will avoid them as much as possible. I do like guns and hunting, that's about the only area I am conservative in, the rest I am pretty open about. That would be common interests. Otherwise I would either have to tell him "Agree to Disagree or GTFO". Living in the Bible Belt as a Christian/Pagan I know I'm gonna catch lots of hell unless I am very sneaky about who I am. It would be nice to meet a mate that is Christian but also open minded as I am. Especially when he sees the tarantulas. Liberal/libertarian, semi-conservative, Christian/Pagan Bible Belt dwelling tarantula owner?! Oh my Duck. What a wonderful mix!
Feelin Frisky Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 ..Is it that you feel particularly strongly about your political beliefs? Oh yeah. That would be an understatement. I'm reticent to go into too much detail about how I see the opposing party so not to set off a war on your thread but I'm beyond being casual about these issues IRL. I could deal with someone who is apolitical--someone innocent who just deals with the tangibles of every day life. But I could not overlook someone who is an ideologue and buys into the rightist narratives that keep coming through various media in the United States. I could be described as a "liberal" but I wouldn't apply that too myself. I could be described as an atheist but I would not apply that to myself. This is how "they" would brand me however. Now, watch as I communicate with you in this fashion and even censor myself and I guaranty someone on the other side is going to criticize me for not thinking their way. How much ya wanna bet?
desertIslandCactus Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Have you found it hard to be serious about someone who isn't from the same political party as you? Have differing political affiliations caused problems in your relationship? I always thought it would be a problem but I miss the debates with my ex. I grew immensely and developed an appreciation for his party's views. Would you hesitate dating someone from another party? Yes I would hesitate .. and they would probably be an atheist at that ..
Feelin Frisky Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Have you ever tried it Feelin? If no, why not?... There are some things in life that once you pass them, you can't go back. It's like finding out your parents and society have faked you out about Santa Claus. You can't go back to being innocent and live in the same world view after that. So,having a mate who hasn't passed those thresholds is not a good thing--it is possible that she won't go through those thresholds and choose to hang on to the things I know are illusions and/or lies. I don't see or ascribe to a "left"--I just know I can't abide the right.
freestyle Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I doubt that I could date someone that polarized to my ideals. However,I had a very good girlfriend, who was a card-carrying, Bush-loving Republican. That might have colored my perceptions had I known that immediately, but politics didn't come up until we'd been friends for a few months already.(We were coworkers) I almost let the politics come between us......and realized she was a great person with a lot of other redeeming qualities so I decided to overlook it. It was a very eye-opening, growing experience for me--to not be so rigid, and to look at things from a wider perspective.We simply agreed to disagree, and avoided political discussions..........and the two of us still had a blast working together.
Duckduckgoose Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Liberal/libertarian, semi-conservative, Christian/Pagan Bible Belt dwelling tarantula owner?! Oh my Duck. What a wonderful mix! Political beliefs should not make much of a difference as long as both people in the relationship respect each others stance. People who are too conservative put me off bigtime... especially if they shove their views down my throat, as are people who are too liberal (it's possible) and shove their views down my throat. Seems like most people are okay with a SO that's politically different from what I am reading. That is good to hear I only mentioned the Ts because I get the feeling its going to make more than one date scream and dump their fruit loops.
jenifer1972 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Liberal/libertarian, semi-conservative, Christian/Pagan Bible Belt dwelling tarantula owner?! Oh my Duck. What a wonderful mix! What is a Christian/pagan? Seriously, I am curious. In a prior era where things were not so polarized I tolerated my ex's right wing views. Now the chasm between the two world views is as wide as the Grand Canyon, and as Frisky says, there ain't no goin' back.
StalledGirl Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I don't mind a partner having different views but I'd find it hard dating a person from the opposite political spectrum because i'm liberal , an atheist and believe in personal freedom. I couldn't date someone in the BNP for example and would struggle with their views on immigration , homosexuality and economic issues. Couldn't date someone who was very religious either. I must sound really unaccommodating but i'm not really...I just wouldn't attract , or feel attracted to a conservative person or someon who strongly believed in the bible.
Star Gazer Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I can date a Republican, but he can't be too conservative, and he has to be respectful in the way he communicates his opposition. My ex wasn't so good at that, and liked to be really condescending about liberal positions and mock ALL Democrats. I never understood that, given he was pretty much living and supposedly in love with one.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I don't mind a partner having different views but I'd find it hard dating a person from the opposite political spectrum because i'm liberal , an atheist and believe in personal freedom. I couldn't date someone in the BNP for example and would struggle with their views on immigration , homosexuality and economic issues. Couldn't date someone who was very religious either. I must sound really unaccommodating but i'm not really...I just wouldn't attract , or feel attracted to a conservative person or someon who strongly believed in the bible. Where have you been all my life?
StalledGirl Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Where have you been all my life? Aboard the RMS Titanic but i've finally found you:love:
Duckduckgoose Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 What is a Christian/pagan? Seriously, I am curious. Going to church, reading the Bible, saved, but also practicing the natural arts, celebrating the seasons, giving praise to the One (God, Goddess, its probably the same). I find that there are things lacking from each religion that the other seems to fill. Christianity has good morals and great instructions on how to live, it deals well with matters of the heart. Paganism deals well with matters of the earth, and has a lot of open-mindedness sometimes lacking with the church. I also find the rituals of Paganism comforting. I know that Catholicism at first was pretty close to Pagan beliefs and that saints were just Pagan gods "Christianified"... if that is even a word. I am trying to get my hands on an Apocrypha, as the Bible has a verse at the very end that none may add or take away from what is written. Yet there are several versions of the Bible depending on what type of Christianity one follows. To me these books are just as important. What authority does a worldly person have to edit out parts of the Bible that don't fit with their concept of Christianity?
Duckduckgoose Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Liberal/libertarian Hmm... I am not sure if you are confusing libertarianism with media's concept of libertarians... not Ron Paul or some of the Tea Party nutters (sorry I didn't drink the kool-aid)... Libertarian left, as defined by the political compass quiz. I don't want to advertise so I'm not gonna link it. I'm gonna stop hijacking this thread now.
denise_xo Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 (edited) Have you found it hard to be serious about someone who isn't from the same political party as you? Have differing political affiliations caused problems in your relationship? I always thought it would be a problem but I miss the debates with my ex. I grew immensely and developed an appreciation for his party's views. Would you hesitate dating someone from another party? Where I'm from the political scene is much less polarised than the US (we have a system of proportional representation which demands much more coalition building). So, I wouldn't be opposed to dating someone from another political party, but I'd pass on someone who is strongly ideologically wired (even if that wiring was of a political persuasion close to my own), or someone who is uncritically accepting of religious beliefs (but I don't mind someone having a religious allegiance). It comes down to the fact that there are basic values and perspectives on life/human beings that I'd like to share with my partner, it just makes going through life together a bit easier. I'd want a bit of difference/resistance, though, for the reasons you cite above about growing/learning. I find that the best set up is when you can both understand AND challenge each other. It is also important to me that my partner has political awareness and interest. I want to be with someone who is intellectually and politically attuned to current events and world affairs. Edited January 27, 2011 by denise_xo
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Scottdmw Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I don't really have a problem dating people who believe differently than I do, except on one or two issues that impact personal life too much. I understand why the opposition feels the way they do, and what the reasons are, and it doesn't particularly bother me even though I disagree. That said, I'm Republican. At the risk of sounding biased, it has been my impression that Democrats somewhat more so than Republicans will tend to say they don't want to date someone of the opposite belief. I hang out with Republicans all the time, and I can't remember a single instance where someone said that they would make that an issue. But, as is apparent on this board as well as in my day-to-day experience with Democrats, it doesn't seem to work the other way.
Author cerridwen Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 It was a very eye-opening, growing experience for me--to not be so rigid, and to look at things from a wider perspective.We simply agreed to disagree, and avoided political discussions..........and the two of us still had a blast working together. This is similar to my situation Freestyle! It was very educational. Neither of us was too proud to say, "That's a good point. I hadn't thought of that." Yet, we DID start arguing near the end. As our relationship progressed, it was hard to stay dispassionate. I began to shut down conversations early, then avoided them all together. I learned a lot but...I went on a date with a fellow Democrat recently. Gotta say, it was kinda nice. Not as stimulating, but nice.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 .. My ex...liked to be really condescending about liberal positions and mock ALL Democrats. I never understood that... That used to be a private thing that one would have to develop all on his or her own based upon their own observation of things. It however became not only "culturized" but "industrialized" when Rush Limbaugh proved there was profit in it by making it a TV show around the time of the so-called "Republican revolution" in 1994 where Republicans took over both houses of Congress and Fox/Murdoch moved in to make "liberal-hating" a media-market industry. As a democrat or even a liberal have you ever come to a place of demonizing Republicans or conservatives? Probably not. Democrats/liberals have not culturized or industrialized conservative-hating. Keith Olbermann and MSNBC did however realize profit from responding to the the right's industrialization of liberal-hating but they did not exist independently to hate on conservatives--just defend liberals from an industrial ridicule machine. Whether individuals watch Limbaugh or Fox or not, there has been a culturization of anti-liberal, anti-government disdain that has been resonating for close to 20 years on a level far beyond what would have likely happened without Fox/Limbaugh's industrialization of hatred. Sorry you had to feel that sting.
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