Married or women in ltr what goes through your mind when you see a good looking guy

January 26, 2011

When I was married, there were a couple guys at my office I was physically attracted to. One of them I avoided like a contagious disease because he was giving me the eye as well, and I knew from looking at his Myspace that he was a player... it would have been easy to get some from him.

The other guy I would talk to, and he would say things like "I wish there was more women like you in the world" or "I wish I had a girlfriend as laid back as you are". I kept my thoughts about him pure, but I knew at the drop of a hat if I wasn't married I would be screwing him. He was a very nice guy, and single, but he never said things that led me to believe he would try and get me to cheat.

I have been considering emailing him now that I am in the process of a divorce, but I am thinking I will just wait till I eventually run into him in public. After the divorce is final. If he has a woman I will wish them well but if not...

When I would see very attractive men in public I would look at them and kind of imagine them naked... if I was by myself. If I was with the stbxH I would only look quickly and discreetly so as to be respectful. One smoking hot guy on a bike with no shirt... I mean finer than silk this guy was HOT T T... I had to look at the ground as the guy rode by I wanted to lick this guy all over. My then-husband WAS looking at this guy and mentioned to ME how hot the guy was... I told him I wasn't looking at the guy out of respect for his feelings. I didn't get a thank you or anything...

It took most all of my self control to do it too.

One of my favorite sayings is "It doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home". I used that in context to seeing attractive men and taking it out on my stbxH.

January 26, 2011

Basic aspects of sexuality(like the desire for sex) is universal. There's no reason to listen to what women say because what they say and what they actually do/desire are usually completely different. Men that are successful with women don't listen to what they say. They go by actions and that's what I'll continue to do.

All of the men I have encountered who were successful with women--and successful does not only mean having sex with, but ALSO having friendships and happy long-term love relationships with--did listen to women, and cared about what they had to say, and tried to understand their differences. This post was deeply sad and illustrates a fundamental dysfunction in society.

January 27, 2011

The other thing is, I'll check out woman too, if one catches my eye. To see her hair bounce, how her figure looks, dress clinging to her, her boobs (bounce, natural or fake) but again, it's not a big deal. I'm a visual person and I enjoy people watching. It's not a sexual thing for me.

I may be married but I'm not dead. My H will look too and we talk about it. I'll point out some women to him (look left, white shirt, big boobs) and he'll look.. Again..NOT a big deal.

Good point. We do the same. Attractive people (male or female) are nice to look at.

The difference is, my man will sometimes be mentally undressing the woman with the bouncing boobs, especially if her nipples are visible, whereas I just look and appreciate the physical beauty. We've talked about it several times and he's in no way disrespectful so what's the harm?

For me (female) it's not sexual - for him (male) it often is. I just accept that we're different.

January 27, 2011

MadMax, the topic did invite the women here to say something, and apparently some have. I enjoy listening to what they have to say and then, with that information in hand, go out into the world and match it up with what they do. It's one aspect of people-picking and, IMO, more information is good information .

Just be careful what you extrapolate from the information you collect on LS, Carhill. There are as many differences between women as there are between men and women.

January 27, 2011

I say "woah he's hot" just like any other day.

January 27, 2011

I tend to look at handsome men in an aesthetic sense, like a piece of art - I find them beautiful but there's no sexual attraction, not even when I'm single. Sexual attraction is only generated when I get to know a guy, and it comes from his intelligence and personality. A guy who is extremely smart and a nice person pushes my attraction buttons; as long as he's not physically repulsive then I'll find him attractive. I am not necessarily typical of most women though! |

January 27, 2011

I am happily in a relationshıp currently. When I see a man that I personally think is good-looking, I appreciate hım from afar but I only shrug as in my mind I think something like "maybe in a parallel universe" but that is about all because I am happy with my boyfriend.

I think it depends on just how happy or content a woman is in her marraige or releationship.

January 27, 2011

What about your partners friends or is that crossing the line?

January 27, 2011

I think allot of women are visual but if i were in a relationship that wouldnt bother me as much as what a women alluded to in this post of connecting with a guy at work who constanty compliments her..

While men can be swayed visually and by variety women can be swayed by compliments and what they think is chemistry or an emotional connection with somebody at work

January 27, 2011

Women are just as horny as men are. Correct me if I am wrong but they probably do what I do which is notice somebody else is very attractive and then move on. Just because I can see that a woman is very good looking does not mean that I want to cheat with her and I assume that is the same for women.

That's pretty much the experience for me.

I would say, I'm more likely to think, say, an actor playing a character (not just the actor himself, but the persona involved) is attractive, or a person I know, than just a random person walking by. I see the aesthetic beauty, just looking at someone, but it's not going to be something I notice unless someone asks, usually.

Even those that do are not going to admit it. Women are visually stimulated as well. They just don't admit it.

Studies and anecdotal evidence from women both seem to indicate that the average woman is much less visually stimulated than the average man. That's why women are more likely to read very smutty romance novels and men are more likely to enjoy porn. Men like the visual; women like the . . . concept/narrative . . . there's some evidence to show that women are more audibly stimulated as well.

This is not to say that women don't like a good looking man. Or even find certain visual stimulation very sexy. But not, generally, to the degree of men, is all.

What about your partners friends or is that crossing the line?

I don't remember every thinking a significant other's friend was sexy, but I do recognize some are handsome. I don't see any issue with having an opinion, one way or the other. Now, flirting with a SO's friend would be beyond tacky and totally crossing a line. Fantasizing about one would make me feel uncomfortable. But I'm not sure I'd say it's a moral issue. I don't like regulating thoughts.

January 27, 2011

Boy am I glad I'm not in the dating market these days!

You all (male and female) have a very strange way of thinking about relationships and sex.

Good luck to you.

Nahh he's absolutely right. I have a motto, and I know I will get a lot of flak for saying this but whatever.

"Women don't know what they want"

I have messed around with plenty of women. Hundreds, in fact. They all say they want a decent guy who has his act together, etc. Or maybe they will ask for some specific stuff. The guy that is like that could be standing right in front of them, and they either do not realize it, or they are afraid to get involved because "they're not ready"

One girl I messed around with recently said open communication was a big deal to her, and I did my best to let her know what I thought about us, I kept in touch with her regularly, but she couldn't do the same.

I'm not saying all women are crazy or anything like that, I'm saying that based upon my observations and from what others have told me, emotions are the driving force behind a woman's judgment most of the time, and that is why at times their actions do not always align with their supposed beliefs. They try to be rational when defining what they want, but in the heat of the moment, they react to romantic situations differently and they do not always act rationally.

January 27, 2011

In a response to the OP....

I think the older married women have less inhibitions and are more willing to express their interest in good looking men.

I get hit on/groped by older married women all the time at work. The other day this lady was asking me for a favor, and as she was doing it she was tugging at my arm, going, goddamn, look at these muscles..

I have found that younger women don't really do things like that unless they are inebriated.

January 27, 2011

In a response to the OP....

I think the older married women have less inhibitions and are more willing to express their interest in good looking men.

I get hit on/groped by older married women all the time at work. The other day this lady was asking me for a favor, and as she was doing it she was tugging at my arm, going, goddamn, look at these muscles..

I have found that younger women don't really do things like that unless they are inebriated.

Agreed. Middle aged women are definitely more forward. I can't count how often I've gotten hit on by middle aged women. Not that ones my age don't do that, but it's not as common.

January 27, 2011

Nahh he's absolutely right. I have a motto, and I know I will get a lot of flak for saying this but whatever.

"Women don't know what they want"

I have messed around with plenty of women. Hundreds, in fact. They all say they want a decent guy who has his act together, etc. Or maybe they will ask for some specific stuff. The guy that is like that could be standing right in front of them, and they either do not realize it, or they are afraid to get involved because "they're not ready"

One girl I messed around with recently said open communication was a big deal to her, and I did my best to let her know what I thought about us, I kept in touch with her regularly, but she couldn't do the same.

I'm not saying all women are crazy or anything like that, I'm saying that based upon my observations and from what others have told me, emotions are the driving force behind a woman's judgment most of the time, and that is why at times their actions do not always align with their supposed beliefs. They try to be rational when defining what they want, but in the heat of the moment, they react to romantic situations differently and they do not always act rationally.

The bolded above is true of most human beings, male or female, and simply acknowledging that it is in human nature to sometimes behave irrationally in romantic/sexual situations is very, VERY different from saying people should not listen to what women say. Little Tiger was trying to explain to him the whys and wherefores of some common female sexual mechanisms and he could have learned something, instead he chose to belittle her input by saying he wouldn't listen to women.

January 27, 2011

The bolded above is true of most human beings, male or female, and simply acknowledging that it is in human nature to sometimes behave irrationally in romantic/sexual situations is very, VERY different from saying people should not listen to what women say. Little Tiger was trying to explain to him the whys and wherefores of some common female sexual mechanisms and he could have learned something, instead he chose to belittle her input by saying he wouldn't listen to women.

Men and women are irrational in different ways though.

Men might do irrational things to protect their woman or their own pride once they are in some kind of relationship.

Women are irrational when it comes to defining what they want in a lover. They say they want a certain thing then go for the exact opposite.

I'll give you an example: I was talking to this one girl years ago that was on the verge of breaking up with her bf. She claimed he was a loser, had no future, didn't do romantic things with her, etc.

I listened to her, let her know where my life was headed, etc. I didn't really press too hard for her to break up with him.

She ran the hell away from me and back to him anyway.

She claimed she wanted a guy that was sophisticated, smart, self-sufficient, etc., but her bf made her feel needed because he wasn't all those things. I was all those things without her help so she felt like I did not need her as much as he needed her.

That's what she really wanted all along. She wanted to feel like someone needed her.

January 27, 2011

I rarely look at other men that way because I am very in love with my husband and others don't interest me. If I did see someone who attracted me I would make a point of avoiding him. I love my life and want nothing to mess it up.

When I was single, this is what I thought: Actually if a guy is too good looking, as in a perfect "10" perhaps by GQ standards, I immediately think he may be gay, or if not, then a very self absorbed pretty boy player.

For me, the package has to include a sexy funny personality. Just looks is a boring shell. I am actually much more inclined to stare at a gorgeous woman, and just think how perfect her body is and how beautiful aesthetically, not sexually, than I would just stare at a guy.

January 27, 2011

Men and women are irrational in different ways though.

Men might do irrational things to protect their woman or their own pride once they are in some kind of relationship.

Women are irrational when it comes to defining what they want in a lover. They say they want a certain thing then go for the exact opposite.

I'll give you an example: I was talking to this one girl years ago that was on the verge of breaking up with her bf. She claimed he was a loser, had no future, didn't do romantic things with her, etc.

I listened to her, let her know where my life was headed, etc. I didn't really press too hard for her to break up with him.

She ran the hell away from me and back to him anyway.

She claimed she wanted a guy that was sophisticated, smart, self-sufficient, etc., but her bf made her feel needed because he wasn't all those things. I was all those things without her help so she felt like I did not need her as much as he needed her.

That's what she really wanted all along. She wanted to feel like someone needed her.

Logic fail. Some men do the same stuff. I've seen it. And this is one girl.

Many adult women DO know what they want in a relationship. Many women/girls do not. Just as many adult men DO know what they want, and many men/boys do not. It's a maturity thing, not a gender thing.

January 27, 2011

Logic fail. Some men do the same stuff. I've seen it. And this is one girl.

Many adult women DO know what they want in a relationship. Many women/girls do not. Just as many adult men DO know what they want, and many men/boys do not. It's a maturity thing, not a gender thing.

That was one specific example, but believe me, I have many others that are very similar.

I'm not saying men can't be irrational, I'm saying they are different about it. Men's needs are simple so they can easily define what they need in a relationship. Women's needs are different and often not as easy to define.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to start a gender war here, I am just saying that since men and women think differently, it can be hard for open, honest, and rational communication to exist between 2 people of opposing genders.

I'm not saying one is better than the other.

January 27, 2011

I'm very happy in a LTR and to be honest I don't think there are that many good looking guys around.

On the very odd occasion that I've come across one I considered 'nice to look at' that's what I've done - look.

Since attraction is about something much deeper than looks for me a 'good looking guy' never got anything tingling, even when I was single, unless he had something much more interesting about him than just a pretty face or a well toned body.

I can probably count on one hand the number of guys who have induced any tingles in me throughout my entire life (I'm 46) so the chances of coming across one who could turn my head (or any other part of me) away from my current man is about as close to zero as it's possible to get.

I agree with this comment.

Looks alone are almost never enough to excite me. Because, really, they tell you so little about who a person really is.

Other than my boyfriends, only one man EVER has turned me on just with his looks. I'm much more likely to get turned on by creative aptitude and brainiac observations than Colgate grins and biceps.

January 27, 2011

That was one specific example, but believe me, I have many others that are very similar.

I'm not saying men can't be irrational, I'm saying they are different about it. Men's needs are simple so they can easily define what they need in a relationship. Women's needs are different and often not as easy to define.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to start a gender war here, I am just saying that since men and women think differently, it can be hard for open, honest, and rational communication to exist between 2 people of opposing genders.

I'm not saying one is better than the other.

I disagree that all women are like those girls. Maybe you just dig girls like that.

You may be onto something with the 'needs' thing, but many women can define their needs. A lot of times it is difficult for them to communicate said needs to men (because men approach relationships differently), however. I've seen that. But I have rational communication with plenty of men, plenty of the time. In a relationship, rationality is always harder, because feelings are involved (both sides).

I don't want to start a gender war either, but I want to re-assert: Plenty of women do know what they want. Mature, grown-up women who know themselves. Meet some, if you haven't already. They're way easier to talk to.

January 27, 2011

I disagree that all women are like those girls. Maybe you just dig girls like that.

You may be onto something with the 'needs' thing, but many women can define their needs. A lot of times it is difficult for them to communicate said needs to men (because men approach relationships differently), however. I've seen that. But I have rational communication with plenty of men, plenty of the time. In a relationship, rationality is always harder, because feelings are involved (both sides).

I don't want to start a gender war either, but I want to re-assert: Plenty of women do know what they want. Mature, grown-up women who know themselves. Meet some, if you haven't already. They're way easier to talk to.

I have.. problem is all the ones I have met are taken.

January 27, 2011

I have.. problem is all the ones I have met are taken.

Ah, that does happen, with the good ones.

January 27, 2011

When I got into my first long-term relationship, I almost immediately stopped noticing other men. Even after more than a year in the relationship. Yeah, I really don't know how it happened. It wasn't conscious on my part. Maybe I just naturally don't have a wandering eye. Am I the exception?

January 27, 2011

If you see or are talking to a real hot guy Do you get a tingly feeling down below? Do you think what it would be like to sleep with him? Or do you just think well hes attractive and thats the end of it?

I think most people notice an attractive people but fantasizing about having sex each time sounds a tad immature to me unless you are bored , not getting enough or highly sexed.

People with high sex drives are different as they can fantasize about anyone , anytime and anyplace

Sign In

Married or women in ltr what goes through your mind when you see a good looking guy

Recommended Posts

Duckduckgoose

Stung

LittleTiger

LittleTiger

Jannah

Eeyore79

zebracolors

SteveC80

PJKino

zengirl

mo mo

mo mo

Mad Max

Stung

mo mo

jenifer1972

zengirl

mo mo

Ruby Slippers

zengirl

mo mo

zengirl

smashalasha

StalledGirl

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...