What would be the reaction to an "Unapologetic MM"?

January 28, 2011

Nopey. I don't play the game where some guy "does" me with the same "thang" he just "did" his W with a few hours prior. My guy keeps it only for me.

You should try it some time. It's lots of fun to not have to wonder what kind of "games" my lover is playing with his primary woman.

See? Herein lies the problem (pun intended!) for me - its not a "thang." its a beautiful, magnificant part of him that I absolutely adored... And believe me, he had absolutely no stamina or desire to be playing with anyone sgter WE were done playing, but even if he did, so what? There is no "wear and tear" on "thangs" ya know...

January 28, 2011

Actually, YES, he did! Its one of the games we like to play! And we both enjoy it so much! tou should try it sometime, its lots of fun!

OMG no wonder why this guy is having an affair. He enjoys rape and plays out rape fantacies. Obviously he can't tell or share this with his wife especially if they have kids. She would probably be afraid of a man who enjoys enacting RAPE around her daughter.

I wonder if he is a meek little controlled man with his wife and needs this power control rape thing with you.

January 28, 2011

:laugh: :laugh: No sense of humour failure from Owl...

I HATE IT when that happens!!! :)

So, let's try to get this back on topic before it all gets shut down...a couple of people brought up that there have been "unapologetic MM" who have posted here...but were basically considered trolls and pretty much universally shut down.

Would a truly "unapologetic MM" who posted here NOT look like a troll? If he's posting here saying that he's happy with the situation, has no intention to leave his wife or end his affair or change the situation in any way...would people believe that he's being honest?

January 28, 2011

See? Herein lies the problem (pun intended!) for me - its not a "thang." its a beautiful, magnificant part of him that I absolutely adored... And believe me, he had absolutely no stamina or desire to be playing with anyone sgter WE were done playing, but even if he did, so what? There is no "wear and tear" on "thangs" ya know...

MY guy's got a "beautiful, magnificent" cock, for sure. If he was running amok, screwing anything that will hold still long enough, I'd consider it a "thang."

January 28, 2011

I would delve deeper with further questions in order to figure out if he was one of those 1 in 10 that are a secretive sociopath without a conscience. If he was, I would chalk it up to that. sociopaths are self servers, period. and I would feel bad for any women he was with or children he spawned because they are in the life of someone who is much more likely to also be a serial killer.

January 28, 2011

I wonder if he is a meek little controlled man with his wife and needs this power control rape thing with you.

OMG! You must know my xMM and his wife! You have just summed up their entire relationship! Well done!

(and just to further your sexual education - PLAYING rape and ACTUAL rape are totally differnt things... And people usually are NOT having sex in front of their daughters... Do you???)

January 28, 2011

OMG! You must know my xMM and his wife! You have just summed up their entire relationship! Well done!

(and just to further your sexual education - PLAYING rape and ACTUAL rape are totally differnt things... And people usually are NOT having sex in front of their daughters... Do you???)

It takes a certain mindset to get turned on by RAPE which is the ultimate disrespect and control of a woman.

I meant the wife would not want a man that gets turned on by rape around her daughter.

That is definitely not something he would want to share with his wife but would not be embarrassed to share with a MISTRESS. One reason why ow think they know the men so much better, they can share anything no matter how depraved because they are comfortable with their depravity in that situation.

Edited January 28, 2011 by greengoddess

January 28, 2011

It takes a certain mindset to get turned on by RAPE which is the ultimate disrespect and control of a woman.

I meant the wife would not want a man that gets turned on by rape around her daughter.

That is definitely not something he would want to share with his wife but would not be embarrassed to share with a MISTRESS.

A woman giving up her power. Hmmm.... What else might a person like that engage in?

January 28, 2011

A woman giving up her power. Hmmm.... What else might a person like that engage in?

This seriously makes me ill thinking of this married man out enacting rape fantasies with another woman. I guess it is a compliment to the wife that he would not to play complete and utter domination and PAIN with his wife and would look for another outlet for this fantasy. His wife is lucky in this regard.

January 28, 2011

redcurls I am honesly not being mean or cute or anything when I say this but you may want to discuss this affair relationship with a professional. I am really worried it is not at all healthy for you.

January 28, 2011

This thread has it all. Beautiful cocks, religion, rape.

What's next?

Owl,

I think to be unapologetic, a person would have to have a lack of guilt about what they are doing, and who they are hurting. Personally, I do not think that would make a good life partner. Do you?

January 28, 2011

I HATE IT when that happens!!! :)

So, let's try to get this back on topic before it all gets shut down...a couple of people brought up that there have been "unapologetic MM" who have posted here...but were basically considered trolls and pretty much universally shut down.

Would a truly "unapologetic MM" who posted here NOT look like a troll? If he's posting here saying that he's happy with the situation, has no intention to leave his wife or end his affair or change the situation in any way...would people believe that he's being honest?

Just my 2 cents, a true "UMM" (boy that reads weird!) is probably unapologetic even after a D-Day. Which of course which spell out divorce immediately since he is unapologetic about his affair. I can't see anyone wanting to stay married to someone who isn't sorry for the A and the pain it caused. The one question is, popped into my melon here, does the "UMM" get divorced to go be with his OW after D-Day or does he lie so he can continue both M and the A?

January 28, 2011

This thread has it all. Beautiful cocks, religion, rape.
What's next?

Owl,
I think to be unapologetic, a person would have to have a lack of guilt about what they are doing, and who they are hurting. Personally, I do not think that would make a good life partner. Do you?

He would be nobody's prize. Seems more of a "in the heat of the moment/fun time" kind of guy, but not a life long partner, someone who is reliable and trustworthy.

Narcissist comes to mind.

January 28, 2011

Well there you are, and which BS might you be:D

We had one on here and he was so so so arrogant so misogynist and so hateful it was horrible. He really hated women didnt know why the OW didnt know her place. In the end many of us concluded that it was a BS trolling as a MM.

I agree, Wo. Why the assumption that it was a BS?

Trolls on this forum don't have to be those affected by infidelity. People all over the net know about that "other" OW site and constantly troll it. And most aren't BS. They just think the people posting there are dumb enough to fall for it and get all up in arms about the trolling. And it always works there....and here unfortunately. But thankfully, not as much as there.

I do agree that the poster definitely came off as female, but I can't assume that the person must be a BS.

Yeah, that was making me laugh. Maybe the people on the OW/OM forum dont' get out of their own little bubble much? There are a bunch of trolls all over this site who keep getting banned and coming back, and most of them are really arrogant, really hateful, really misogynistic. They pop up mostly in Dating but I've seen them on other boards and I'm pretty sure they're not all BSes.

I might be a posting newbie but I've been reading all over these boards for a while .

January 28, 2011

I don't understand this concept. How does one "help" someone cheat? By holding the H's phone and dialing for him when he wants to call the OW? By making hotel reservations when the H when he wants to see the OW? By forcing the H to think and miss the OW when he is not with her?

Are we talking about toddlers here, or are these husbands grown men, who are perfectly capable of conducting full lives with no "help" whatsoever?

I understand the need to portray the OW as a predator and a seductress, who manipulated and tricked and "helped" that poor, innocent, man, who otherwise would have never considered being unfaithful, not to mention never had the smarts to know how to dial a phone or type emails unless he was "helped"... But, seriously, wake up and smell the delusion!

Surely, you jest!

I'm sure you know full well what the poster who mentioned "help cheat" meant. At no point is the MP portrayed as helpless or innocent.

Just like the justice system views the person driving the getaway car an accomplice to whatever illegal activity that occurred, people consider the OPs the "cheater's helpers".

Unless the OP is just a hole in the wall that the MP sneaks off to every now and then, they had a "partner-in-crime" or more.

Saying that the MP wasn't helped is like saying the OP doesn't exist and isn't important as a person. I'm sure you wouldn't ever make that argument.

January 28, 2011

Surely, you jest!

I'm sure you know full well what the poster who mentioned "help cheat" meant. At no point is the MP portrayed as helpless or innocent.

I know, huh? Talk about trying to put a spin on someone else's post...

January 28, 2011

I HATE IT when that happens!!! :)

So, let's try to get this back on topic before it all gets shut down...a couple of people brought up that there have been "unapologetic MM" who have posted here...but were basically considered trolls and pretty much universally shut down.

Would a truly "unapologetic MM" who posted here NOT look like a troll? If he's posting here saying that he's happy with the situation, has no intention to leave his wife or end his affair or change the situation in any way...would people believe that he's being honest?

OWL, I know you really want an answer different from the ones you've already received. I just don't think you are going to get them.

I came here after you, but while you were taking a break. I have seen MM post that were perfectly happy with their position. They were heckled by EVERYONE as users of people and later dismissed as trolls for never showing a hint of humanity.

WWIU says that an UMM would remain such even after d-day and likely be immediately divorced. I disagree. I've known such men in my lifetime, I think my dad is one TBH. They don't want a divorce and they fight tooth and nail to keep the appearance of happy family. They feel its their right to have several partners and that everyone else is just "jealous" that they are so great and getting what they want.

But they don't get divorced. And you'd be surprised the number of women fighting to be their permanent OW. They can be very charming. And they usually are very good looking.

But they'd still be run away from this forum as trolls. I can totally see my dad posting unapologetically and people wondering if he was "for real". But he would be and that really scares people.

I think jlola already posted something that said almost the same thing too.

January 28, 2011

I think there are many MP's that are like that. So I don't think that's hypothetical.

Especially early on. Then the leaving discussions are lengthy and researched.

As much as everyone wants to put out there that MP's don't fall in love or leave, they DO. That's why the majority of posters on this forum are all up in arms about OP's.

If they weren't an actual threat to anyone's marriage, no one would CARE.

EEG

I completely disagree with this and find it pretty misguided. If I found out my husband was having recreational sex with other women and lying to me about it, even if he had absolutely no desire to leave me or end our marriage, I would surely care. Even if we had structured a sexually open marriage (which we have not), that would need to be founded on trust and open communication and if he was lying to me about his activities, please understand that I would care.

In any case, I don't believe there would be any way for an affair to not be a threat to my marriage, because the chances are good that I would have to end it myself to try to recover from the damage.

Here just like in real life...if someone came to me, or announced, or confided in me that they were secretly wrecking the lives of other people by telling them all lies and actively betraying their trust , and keeping important life decision making facts away from them...and that they liked it:

I would tell him. You are a piece of crap.

If they came to me with the same information and said that they were unhappy with their actions, confused, or wanted some advice as to what to do:

I would tell them in my opionion, how to stop being a piece of crap.

Yeah, pretty much.

My guess is an 'unapologetic' MM would be raked over the coals for the most part, by angry OW in danger of becoming disillusioned with their own Prince Charmings, and by just about everybody else. I certainly don't believe someone has to be a bitter meanie of a BS to view deceit and selfishness in a negative light.

January 28, 2011

I've known such men in my lifetime, I think my dad is one TBH. They don't want a divorce and they fight tooth and nail to keep the appearance of happy family. They feel its their right to have several partners and that everyone else is just "jealous" that they are so great and getting what they want.

But they don't get divorced. And you'd be surprised the number of women fighting to be their permanent OW. They can be very charming. And they usually are very good looking.

But they'd still be run away from this forum as trolls. I can totally see my dad posting unapologetically and people wondering if he was "for real". But he would be and that really scares people.

I think jlola already posted something that said almost the same thing too.

I've known these men too. Typically very old school, old world thinking and posturing. Love being married, love f*cking around, think they deserve both and everybody should know their place.

January 29, 2011

Originally Posted by donnamaybe

Wake up and smell your own delusion!

Did the MM forcibly drag you into a bedroom, hold you down, and "do" you against your will? NOT!

Actually, YES, he did! Its one of the games we like to play! And we both enjoy it so much! tou should try it sometime, its lots of fun!

You seem to be saying it was against your will Redcurls.

That is actually rape.

If it was just a game, that is different and not what was being discussed.

On a slightly different point, in my opinion it can be rape if a man has sex withe his wife while leading her to believe that he is being faithful. "Consent" is the issue and many wives do not consent to have sex with their Hs if there is an OW in the picture.

There have been a few legal cases where consent obtained under false pretenses has been held to be rape. Also rape in marriage can be a crime.

I'm waiting for some savvy wife to make it clear to her husband that she consents to sex with him only while he is faithful and withdraws consent the moment he is not.

If such a wife then found out about an OW it would be interesting to see if a successful rape case could be brought. Could an OW who knew of this be taken to be some sort of accessory to rape?

It would take a brave BW though, to take it all the way to court...

Any thoughts from the legal eagles amongst us?

[sorry to threadjack Owl - I can start a new topic if I'm out of order]

Edited January 29, 2011 by SidLyon

January 29, 2011

Interesting - I recognise SOME of that as something I wrote. Some of it I don't recognise at all, and wonder if the use of "paraphrase" (above) includes "twist and warp"?

As you correctly identified the first 2 were direct paraphrases of something you wrote - no twisting or warping - just gender reversals.

As for the "every guy I screwed fell in love with me" crap - that's just crap. Nowhere have I ever claimed that, which quite possibly may be why my original posts passed without comment. They weren't warped into deluded fantasies worthy of outraged comment, they were simply statements of how I'd concluded my agreements.

This was also a direct paraphrase of someone else's post - who are you to say it was "just crap" - it wasn't your post anyway?

But nice try, though - you seem to have gotten the response you sought.

I gave examples from recent posts to demonstrate the sort of thing the OP was about.

My comments in bold above.

Frankly with genders reversed the comments were disgustingly misogynistic.

Edited January 29, 2011 by SidLyon

January 29, 2011

Originally Posted by donnamaybe
Wake up and smell your own delusion!

Did the MM forcibly drag you into a bedroom, hold you down, and "do" you against your will? NOT!

You seem to be saying it was against your will Redcurls.

That is actually rape.

If it was just a game, that is different and not what was being discussed.

On a slightly different point, in my opinion it can be rape if a man has sex withe his wife while leading her to believe that he is being faithful. "Consent" is the issue and many wives do not consent to have sex with their Hs if there is an OW in the picture.

There have been a few legal cases where consent obtained under false pretenses has been held to be rape. Also rape in marriage can be a crime.

I'm waiting for some savvy wife to make it clear to her husband that she consents to sex with him only while he is faithful and withdraws consent the moment he is not.

If such a wife then found out about an OW it would be interesting to see if a successful rape case could be brought. Could an OW who knew of this be taken to be some sort of accessory to rape?

It would take a brave BW though, to take it all the way to court...

Any thoughts from the legal eagles amongst us?

[sorry to threadjack Owl - I can start a new topic if I'm out of order]

Yes, I was going to let that one go but it did make me roll my eyes a little, bragging about little role playing sex games in response to a serious question about force. Point, missed.

Anyway, interesting interpretation, Sid. I do see where you're going, 'false pretenses' and all that. I agree that sex with a spouse who does not know there are affairs going on is immoral, misleading, hurtful, potentially very damaging to body and mind. Still, as a survivor of actual, more conventional rape, I would really hesitate to call it rape. Rape is difficult enough to prosecute and is already a gray area in many people's minds without muddying the issues further, IMO, and this would be stretching the definition to a degree that the term rape could start to lose meaning to a lot of people.

It might be an interesting discussion thread, though.

January 29, 2011

I don't understand this concept. How does one "help" someone cheat? By holding the H's phone and dialing for him when he wants to call the OW? By making hotel reservations when the H when he wants to see the OW? By forcing the H to think and miss the OW when he is not with her?

Are we talking about toddlers here, or are these husbands grown men, who are perfectly capable of conducting full lives with no "help" whatsoever?

I understand the need to portray the OW as a predator and a seductress, who manipulated and tricked and "helped" that poor, innocent, man, who otherwise would have never considered being unfaithful, not to mention never had the smarts to know how to dial a phone or type emails unless he was "helped"... But, seriously, wake up and smell the delusion!

But this is the very thing that OW's believe about the wife. Poor MM doesn't want to be married but his wife makes him stay, he wouldn't be there if his wife wasn't so controlling and abusive, he wouldn't be cheating if only his wife wasn't forcing him to be married to her. I don't know about your MM but a lot of OW don't seem to be with grown men who are capable of making up their own minds with no help whatsoever. There are many OW stories here about MM being abused and controlled by their wifes. As a matter of fact your response to a poster who just said your MM is probably meek and controlled by his wife was :

"OMG! You must know my xMM and his wife! You have just summed up their entire relationship! Well done!"

So which is it? Is he a strong intelligent man who is controlled by noone or is he a meek little man who can't make his own decisions?

January 29, 2011

But this is the very thing that OW's believe about the wife. Poor MM doesn't want to be married but his wife makes him stay, he wouldn't be there if his wife wasn't so controlling and abusive, he wouldn't be cheating if only his wife wasn't forcing him to be married to her. I don't know about your MM but a lot of OW don't seem to be with grown men who are capable of making up their own minds with no help whatsoever. There are many OW stories here about MM being abused and controlled by their wifes. As a matter of fact your response to a poster who just said your MM is probably meek and controlled by his wife was :

"OMG! You must know my xMM and his wife! You have just summed up their entire relationship! Well done!"

So which is it? Is he a strong intelligent man who is controlled by noone or is he a meek little man who can't make his own decisions?

He IS very much controlled by his W but he LIKES it. He is staying married because he WANTS to, and I actually never wanted him to leave (for my own personal reasons.) He is not a meek little man, and he chooses to allow W to dictate his every move. I don't get it, I never got the dynamics between them, but it seems to be working just fine for their relationship. (But, wait! Maybe its not working too well after all, cause, ya know, here I am...)

January 29, 2011

Yeah, that was making me laugh. Maybe the people on the OW/OM forum dont' get out of their own little bubble much? There are a bunch of trolls all over this site who keep getting banned and coming back, and most of them are really arrogant, really hateful, really misogynistic. They pop up mostly in Dating but I've seen them on other boards and I'm pretty sure they're not all BSes.

I might be a posting newbie but I've been reading all over these boards for a while .

Mostlikely about as much as you do:D

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What would be the reaction to an "Unapologetic MM"?

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