Cee Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 First I want to say I am not complaining. I love this so much and am on cloud nine, but I am skeptical and bewildered. Since Christmas, men have been throwing themselves at me. This is completely nuts. Please, Love Shack, explain this to me. I am not a goddess by any stretch. I'll try to be brief, but there has been a ton of incidents in the past 4 weeks. Face to Face Come Ons 1) A platonic companion met me in Germany for dinner and drinks. After having completely mundane and non-flirty conversation, he grabs me and makes a pass. And then begs me to go home with him. I say no and take a taxi to my hostel. 2) I meet a guy at a party and he is falling all over me. He's acting like he wants to marry me. We click. We go on a couple of dates and then he fades. (This one seems normal to me) 3) Guy mysteriously falls in love with me at a meetup event. We have met and talked before and he has never flirted. But on this night he couldn't take his eyes off of me and asked me out. He not only gave me his number, he gave me all of his numbers, and texted me right after I left the event. 4) I go to watch football with a group. A single guy next to me and I start chatting. He's interesting and I enjoy his company. When I'm not looking, he plugs his number into my phone. He flirts a lot and indicates interest in a date. Later that night, he texts me and says he hopes I stay in contact. Online Come Ons 1) Guy I dated who did the fade pops up 4 months later for IM before Christmas. He wants to give things another go. I block him. 2) A guy from Plenty of Fish from 2 years ago IMs me. This guy and I had 3 brief IM chats and never met. I completely forgot about him. He puts the hard sell on me for a date. I say no. 3) Guy hits on me on Facebook. We are acquaintances but not close. I put a comment on his FB and then we have this chit chat thread. Then he sends a message asking me out. 4) Guy hits on me in a message board thread and then later asks me out via private message. I've met him once, but never talked to him. Basically, he did a cold approach online. I gently send a rejection message. Is this a fluke or a coincidence? Maybe men have that Valentine's Day thing too. Am I suddenly more approachable. I don't know.
sumdude Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Late January. It's dark, gloomy and cold in those empty beds.
Emilia Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Late January. It's dark, gloomy and cold in those empty beds. yip (10 characters)
Mrlonelyone Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Why be skeptical? These men like you. Do you not think you are a likable and at least moderately attractive person?
irc333 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 I fail to see the issue. The only answer here is that she's having guys she's NOT interested in, trying to ask her out. She's NOT interested in these men, wonder why she doesn't admit this though? That's the answer to this thread, nothing more. Why be skeptical? These men like you. Do you not think you are a likable and at least moderately attractive person?
welikeincrowds Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 This is how it always seems to work, right? Nothing, or a lot at once. I had a theory going for a while that it happened this way because everything is "clicking": you're finally carrying/presenting yourself in just the right way, and all the efforts you put into the process are coming back to you, and it's a snowball effect. But now I just think it's a cosmic joke and all life is suffering.
Duckduckgoose Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Just take it as an ego boost. Don't get too big headed but just enjoy it. There will be times you have droughts of male attention... it never seems to be steady male attention... it always comes and goes.
carhill Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 It will only be when enjoying the vacuum of abject male non-desperate non-attention that the clarity of the moment will arrive.
Seamless74 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Is this a fluke or a coincidence? Maybe men have that Valentine's Day thing too. Am I suddenly more approachable. I don't know. lol.. I can assure you thats not it lol.. Man if i havent found anybody by january I honestly hope I dont until after V-DAy just avoid that whole thing if possible.
Author Cee Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 I fail to see the issue. The only answer here is that she's having guys she's NOT interested in, trying to ask her out. She's NOT interested in these men, wonder why she doesn't admit this though? That's the answer to this thread, nothing more. Actually, I was interested in 4 of the 8 men who approached. I dated one and he faded. I am talking to the other 3 to get to know better. I am going to see if I can line up some dates. The 3 guys who went bananas for me in person weren't being creepy or weird, but actually seemed to enjoy the fact that I was showing signs of interest. So many times I try to chat up a guy somewhere and his eyes glaze over. This time, their eyes lit up. I do like this development & I wish I knew a way to bottle it and use it in the future.
Author Cee Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 It will only be when enjoying the vacuum of abject male non-desperate non-attention that the clarity of the moment will arrive. So true. It's pretty much been my story for the last few years. That's why I'm flabbergasted about the past month. It feels like a hallucination.
carhill Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 The hard part for myself, should such ever occur, would be accepting the moment as an oasis of authentic truth. So far, the desert of the real has given up no bodies Perhaps switching from chum/net to long-line might help with the by-catch. This means proactively targeting apparently compatible men, based on the lessons gleaned from the incompatible ones. Good luck
Author Cee Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 Sigh, I wish the long line approach worked for me. When I use that approach, I end up with another close friendship with a man. It's nice to have so many male friends, who confide in me about lots of things including about lovers and girlfriends. But I wouldn't mind some pillow talk once in a while.
Mrlonelyone Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Sigh, I wish the long line approach worked for me. When I use that approach, I end up with another close friendship with a man. It's nice to have so many male friends, who confide in me about lots of things including about lovers and girlfriends. But I wouldn't mind some pillow talk once in a while. Wow. So women can get "friendzoned" too. Learn something new every day.
carhill Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 OP, what I've noticed about some women is how they can selectively project the 'come hither' vibe, divining potentials and cutting out the incompatible ones with a fluidity that defies explanation. It's pretty amazing to observe this in action. Perhaps it's genetic, IDK. I've played a bit with this myself, with limited success, but do see merit in it. In my case, most of what I attract is therapy cases, so obviously I'm sending out the wrong vibes. More work to do. I guess just keep plugging along and see how it goes, eh?
alexlakeman Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Well Cee, men think you're hot ... and are taking notice...It comes in waves.. Enjoy it.. .. I can't speak for anyone, but I, personally, am bumping it up a tad now, weeks b4 v-day... Good luck and give them a test run
dispatch3d Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Why is your first reaction to a guy asking you at "he's desperate"? Seriously? The whole thread seems like a huge OMG I'M CUTE. blablablablabla ahhhh man I must be in an awful mood to be hating so much. Sorry about that. Anyways, why don't you actually accept some of their date offers the first time around rather than saying no then chatting with all your friends (which I don't understand)?
northern_sky Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Why is your first reaction to a guy asking you at "he's desperate"? Seriously? The whole thread seems like a huge OMG I'M CUTE. blablablablabla ahhhh man I must be in an awful mood to be hating so much. Sorry about that. Anyways, why don't you actually accept some of their date offers the first time around rather than saying no then chatting with all your friends (which I don't understand)? Before I even opened this thread, when I saw that you were the last one to post I knew it would be something bitchy. In fact I opened the thread just to see what dispatch is bitching about this time. It's like you look for things to complain about. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the OP's attitude.
Author Cee Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 Thanks for the support and the good words. I've been much flirtier than usual and I think that may be contributing to my luck. I'm resisting the urge to hang back.
Nexus One Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 What ages are the men you speak of? And what age are you?
Author Cee Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 The men range from 23-36, I think. I don't know the age of one man, but he's probably 34 or 35 based on things he has said. As for me, I'm 41. But I socialize in a crowd of 30-somethings so I'm often mistaken for being that age. I don't lie about my age, but I don't offer it up right away. As for an update, I had a good date with one of the men. He was refreshingly direct with me. He called me on the telephone and set up a coffee date. The date went well I think. And, we have two group social events to attend this week. They aren't dates so I hope we set up a one-on-one 2nd date sometime.
daphne Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 I love it. It reminds me of an over the top version of what I went through a couple of months ago when everyone and their father was back in my life or trying to hit on me. Apparently, there's something you have that they want to see about. And coincidentally they want to see it at the same time. That's funny how the fade guy and the guy you never met are chasing you. Seriously. 4 months?? 2 years??? WTF? They realized now that you're special? pffft. Fun stuff. Enough to put a swing in your step.
daphne Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 In my case, most of what I attract is therapy cases, so obviously I'm sending out the wrong vibes. More work to do. Would it be fair to say you are a care taker?
carhill Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Would it be fair to say you are a care taker? Yeah, after caring for a mentally ill person for eight years, that's fair. Historically, back to my young years, I was always empathetic, helping people in pain. It's probably a function of having a loving and balanced childhood. There was no pain at home. I was just thinking about this the other night, remembering holding the mother of one of my friends as he pulled his father off her and into another room, ending her latest beating. I was thinking 'people really live like this?' and seeing the pain and fear in her eyes. I was 16. Women see me as a confessional. My PM box here on LS is testament. I don't mind it but it doesn't help me find a healthy partner. Perhaps that's a maelstrom of a different sort
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