denise_xo Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 That is the same guy, the only difference is his audience. No, it isn't. Your statement is empirically incorrect.
carhill Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 IMO, the compared statements are difficult to reconcile, since the first statement includes no relationship history. Further, a promiscuous person can easily traverse relationships without 'cheating' by 'breaking up' suddenly and unexpectedly to pursue a new partner within their field of view. Technically, this is 'better' than cheating, but the relative health as a LTR partner could surely be questioned. A person who did this in relationships would indicate to me that they invest little into the relationship and therefore leave little on the table when they exit it. A repetitive pattern of short-term relationships, along with promiscuity, is one potential path. It's a valid relationship style and one worthy of considering for compatibility.
sumdude Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 I love sluts because they usually have the skills too. That's making an assumption though. Take a 35 year old man or women. 1. Has been in two long term relationships and had maybe 5 other short term ones and a couple ONS. A total of 8 lovers. They were with the two LTRs for a combined 10 years regularly having sex. 2. Has been in 4 year long relationships and has slept around with a few FWB's and lots of ONS. Say 40 lovers. Which one actually has more experience? Which is more likely to be a giving lover and which a more selfish lover? Besides, repetition and experience don't always make a great lover. I know folks who have tried and practiced musical instruments for years who never get past a certain level and others are amazing within just a few years.
carhill Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Without any intent to demean my exW, she had ten times the sexual partners of myself, in addition to being married twice (before me) and she often seemed (and occasionally communicated such) unsure of her skills as a lover. One datapoint. I've heard the same from women about apparent high numbers men, though mainly it was communicated as a dynamic of selfishness by the man, which to *some* women is attractive.. YMMV appears to be the clear dynamic in this case.
january2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 It's a turn-off if he continually makes comparisons, regularly talks about previous 'conquests' and brags about getting previous partners to orgasm every single time they were together. Acting as though he 'knows best' is also a huge turn-off unless it's part of a previously agreed scenario.
depplover_1980 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 That's making an assumption though. Take a 35 year old man or women. 1. Has been in two long term relationships and had maybe 5 other short term ones and a couple ONS. A total of 8 lovers. They were with the two LTRs for a combined 10 years regularly having sex. 2. Has been in 4 year long relationships and has slept around with a few FWB's and lots of ONS. Say 40 lovers. Which one actually has more experience? Which is more likely to be a giving lover and which a more selfish lover? Besides, repetition and experience don't always make a great lover. I know folks who have tried and practiced musical instruments for years who never get past a certain level and others are amazing within just a few years. Well I have had a fair share of relationships and lovers. The two greatest of my life were also the most experienced and sluts, they are pure dynamite with a huge skill range. I have spoken to one about it, who has had approx 100 partners and he said he had to learn various techniques to please various women,as women like it different. It shows too.
zengirl Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Well I have had a fair share of relationships and lovers. The two greatest of my life were also the most experienced and sluts, they are pure dynamite with a huge skill range. I have spoken to one about it, who has had approx 100 partners and he said he had to learn various techniques to please various women,as women like it different. It shows too. I think this depends a lot on what you like. I like a partner who's had experience in LTRs because they've learned different sexual things, more related to sexual communication, intimacy, and maintaining spark throughout time. I assume there are different skills men learn in different settings. I don't generally give much care to 'technique' unless it's really bad (which I've never experienced). And I don't find first times are ever great. Great sex---at least what I consider great sex---is something that comes with time, as you explore each other, and become intimate in the relationship.
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 No, it isn't. Your statement is empirically incorrect. I understand that you are trying to say that the guys attitude towards the women he has been with is what matters to you. I'm telling you that the attitude he displays is very commonly different depending on who he is talking to. You can't tell one attitude from the other without actually getting to know him. So take things slow.
depplover_1980 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 I think this depends a lot on what you like. I like a partner who's had experience in LTRs because they've learned different sexual things, more related to sexual communication, intimacy, and maintaining spark throughout time. I assume there are different skills men learn in different settings. I don't generally give much care to 'technique' unless it's really bad (which I've never experienced). And I don't find first times are ever great. Great sex---at least what I consider great sex---is something that comes with time, as you explore each other, and become intimate in the relationship. I know what you are saying Zengirl and perhaps I'll give you the 'maintaining spark throughout time', that is good food for thought. However the guy I am thinking of could make you feel like he loved you, screw you slowly into a sensual session, or he could take your breathe away with his spark and nastiness. Wow I miss that one, lol.
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