Mangomonkey Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 We all know the rules even if people don't like it. Women who jumped beds a lot are no good but its okay for the guys. As many people know. Many guys aren't too fond of slutty women. For many reasons I'm not going to get into. But i was wondering. How do women deal with slutty men? Seriously. Maybe if we understand how women deal with it. Maybe as men we can mature a little more as to be able to deal with such women as well. And to my knowledge. I believe that many women have to deal with the fact that their man has been around the block more than themselves. And a majority of the time its true. So how do women deal with a guy with a bad past?
Hopeful30 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 I don't like slutty men. It's a big turn off for me. A real man wants a REAL woman, and neither go jumping beds because they know they are worth more, and won't just offer such goods to anyone. Then again, my ex was a WHORE BAG, but he changed entirely when he fell in love with me. I won't lie, I was intimidated because he was with all these sex freaks who could bend like pretzels and were into kink and all that, and I was intimidated because I felt I wouldn't be good enough for him in bed, since he has had so much experience with so many things. I was nervous that he would find me boring. I stay away from slutty men, both because it degrades the man, and sleeping with him makes me feel less of a woman, even if he has true feelings for me. I feel less of a woman because he has done this with half the community, and i'm just another one, or at least I feel that way given his past, and that is something that will always be in the back of my head.
Woggle Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 To be honest men like that often do quite well with women. I don't think it is a good idea for a woman to trust a male player anymore than it is for a man to trust a female player but these guys tend to have women throwing themselves at them.
Nexus One Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 (edited) I know a guy who, when he goes out, wears a bright pink t-shirt with the black letters SLUT on it. He had 8 simultaneous girlfriends the last time I asked, but in all honesty he says he lost count. He frequently encounters his other girlfriends when he takes one of them out. He get's drinks thrown at him all the time when he goes out from girlfriends who caught him. Some of his girlfriends are fine with it though. Edited January 26, 2011 by Nexus One
Billy_Boy Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 how do you define promiscuity? like what numbers?
Nexus One Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 (edited) how do you define promiscuity? like what numbers? I don't know about numbers, but I heard a theory once that most women tend to sleep with a man only after they know him for at least 4 to 7 hours. If she has sex with him before that her psychological slut-defense starts to kick in. Perhaps women who breach that rule and breach it regularly could be described as sluts. I don't know if anything about that theory is true or not, but personally I find 4 to 7 hours a short time. Edited January 26, 2011 by Nexus One
Billy_Boy Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 I don't know about numbers, but I heard a theory once that most women tend to sleep with a man only after they know him for at least 4 to 7 hours. If she has sex with him before that her psychological slut-defense starts to kick in. Perhaps women who breach that rule and breach it regularly could be described as sluts. I don't know if anything about that theory is true or not, but personally I find 4 to 7 hours a short time. i meant how do you define a promiscuous male. For example, I turned 30 on Jan 12th. I have slept with a total of 12 women in my life. Am I slut? What if 8 of them were in the past 18 months?
Nexus One Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 (edited) i meant how do you define a promiscuous male. For example, I turned 30 on Jan 12th. I have slept with a total of 12 women in my life. Am I slut? What if 8 of them were in the past 18 months? On average a human being will by the end of its life have had 8 partners. Though I don't remember if that number counted merely LTR partners or also accounts for mere sexual partners. However that number goes for both men and women if I'm not mistaking. Do with that information what you want, I personally think that going over that average doesn't make anyone a slut. More factors should be counted in, like how "easy" someone is or how quickly they decide to have sex with someone they never met before. I guess behavior can also be taken into account. Edited January 26, 2011 by Nexus One
Billy_Boy Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Those numbers seem painfully low... I dont think I know more then 3 or 4 people with less then 10. At least from the ages 25+
Surrealist Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Those numbers seem painfully low... I dont think I know more then 3 or 4 people with less then 10. At least from the ages 25+ I've had less than 5, not counting 2 paid occasions over 20 years ago. And I'm 40 years old. The closest and most rationale explanation I have found as to why this has happened to me is a theory known as 'incel'.
edgeofdarkness Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 how do you define promiscuity? like what numbers? For a woman more than 3 but she must still be a virgin. for a man anything up to 35, and 5 of them concurrent. doubel sandards dont exist of course,
denise_xo Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 i meant how do you define a promiscuous male. For example, I turned 30 on Jan 12th. I have slept with a total of 12 women in my life. Am I slut? What if 8 of them were in the past 18 months? SLUT ALERT! SLUT ALERT! j/k. We all know the rules even if people don't like it. Women who jumped beds a lot are no good but its okay for the guys. As many people know. Many guys aren't too fond of slutty women. For many reasons I'm not going to get into. But i was wondering. How do women deal with slutty men? Seriously. Maybe if we understand how women deal with it. Maybe as men we can mature a little more as to be able to deal with such women as well. And to my knowledge. I believe that many women have to deal with the fact that their man has been around the block more than themselves. And a majority of the time its true. So how do women deal with a guy with a bad past? I don't think according to the 'slut' logic, and I don't really care about numbers. I care about how a man reflects on his past relationships and sexual experience. E.g. "I used to **** lots of chicks in college because they were all easy sluts that just opened their legs for me as soon as I bought them some drinks" - Fail. Next. "I've had sex with 20 women. I did a lot of sexual experimentation in my early twenties. I haven't cheated on any on my LT partners. I understand that a woman who has had 20 sexual partners isn't more of a slut than I am simply by virtue of her being a woman and me being a man". Pass to next stage for further consideration.
zengirl Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 I don't care about a partner's sexual past, really. I do care about his current beliefs on sex/how he treats it. Generally speaking, all the men I've dated in recent years have been "over" casual sex by the time I met them. Some were promiscuous in the past; some weren't. Most had the options, which I think is key to really realizing that casual sex is kind of hollow (whether you engage in it or not). If a man was currently or very recently promiscuous and sleeping around, I wouldn't be with him. If he'd slept with a lot of people or been promiscuous or experimental in his past, it wouldn't bother me one way or the other. I don't care about the past, except in terms of how a partner can reflect on them and what he's learned. FWIW, I've not had a BF ask me for my number/give me his in years. Most guys I date don't seem to care about the number, and I don't either. It's more about the way you conduct yourself.
Emilia Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 We all know the rules even if people don't like it. Women who jumped beds a lot are no good but its okay for the guys. As many people know. Many guys aren't too fond of slutty women. For many reasons I'm not going to get into. But i was wondering. How do women deal with slutty men? Seriously. Maybe if we understand how women deal with it. Maybe as men we can mature a little more as to be able to deal with such women as well. And to my knowledge. I believe that many women have to deal with the fact that their man has been around the block more than themselves. And a majority of the time its true. So how do women deal with a guy with a bad past? I'm not interested in male sluts. It isn't necessarily because I believe that past behaviour indicates future behaviour (though that might be true as habits are created this way) but because I don't like men that are not selective and will go with anyone who will say yes. I know from experience that it indicates aspects of their character
Emilia Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 by the way by slut I mean men that have slept with hundreds of women and haven't had many LTRs. I don't mean young guys that mucked about a bit in their 20s
Titania22 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Hey for me it isn't about numbers. I don't really care to know how many girls a guy has been with. It's more, I don't like guys who are too easy, too willing to go for the sex. It's like 'what's the point?' A guy being willing to have sex, tells me nothing about the effort or skill he is going to bring. All it tells me is that it probably doesn't matter to him who I am. I could be anyone. If he doesn't come across as somewhat discerning, I am just not interested. Partly I think it's having a bit of challenge, or at least a chance to develop a longing/wanting for him, and it is also that if a you know i guy won't do it with just anyone, and he chose to do it with you, then he saw something in you that was worth it to him. (Probably just something physical, but we can always hope it was something of greater substance.)
oaks Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 It's more, I don't like guys who are too easy, too willing to go for the sex. It's like 'what's the point?' A guy being willing to have sex, tells me nothing about the effort or skill he is going to bring. All it tells me is that it probably doesn't matter to him who I am. I could be anyone. If he doesn't come across as somewhat discerning, I am just not interested. Partly I think it's having a bit of challenge, or at least a chance to develop a longing/wanting for him, and it is also that if a you know i guy won't do it with just anyone, and he chose to do it with you, then he saw something in you that was worth it to him. (Probably just something physical, but we can always hope it was something of greater substance.) So if a guy hasn't been too easy in the past, but is interested in having sex with you, it makes you feel more special?
Emilia Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 It's more, I don't like guys who are too easy, too willing to go for the sex. that's 90% of the male population out then
Titania22 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 So if a guy hasn't been too easy in the past, but is interested in having sex with you, it makes you feel more special? Well i guess, expcept, I said his past doesn't interest me. It is how he behaves around me when I meet him, that tells me whether he is too easy. So in theory, he could be Don Juan and has loved a thousand women in his past, I will be observing only his behaviour in the time I know him, not trying to unravel his past.
Titania22 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 that's 90% of the male population out then Absolutely! I am no Ho.
depplover_1980 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 I love sluts because they usually have the skills too.
carhill Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 I think it's good for the guys who jump beds to get together with the girls who jump beds. They speak the same language, the language of beds.
depplover_1980 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 I think it's good for the guys who jump beds to get together with the girls who jump beds. They speak the same language, the language of beds. Well you put it cleanly with 'the language of beds' but you are precisely correct really.
carhill Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 In defense of promiscuous men, the overwhelming tone of anecdotes related by women to myself over the decades, both married and single women, are that promiscuous men who clearly seek sex with women leave no doubt that they desire women for sex. For *some* women, this perception of desire is important to trigger their own sexual response. IOW, 'he wants me' is clearly indicated by the seeking of sex. If he doesn't seek sex, she ponders his desire for her and, often, another man who does seek sex will win her out, as often witnessed by the affairs I've been privy to. Remember, this is *some* women. As a man, my only observation of how women handle promiscuous men is that they f*ck them. It is undeniable. Otherwise, the man would be impotent in his promiscuity. Simple mathematics.
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 "I used to **** lots of chicks in college because they were all easy sluts that just opened their legs for me as soon as I bought them some drinks" - Fail. Next. "I've had sex with 20 women. I did a lot of sexual experimentation in my early twenties. I haven't cheated on any on my LT partners. I understand that a woman who has had 20 sexual partners isn't more of a slut than I am simply by virtue of her being a woman and me being a man". Pass to next stage for further consideration. That is the same guy, the only difference is his audience. Seriously. Maybe if we understand how women deal with it. Maybe as men we can mature a little more as to be able to deal with such women as well. The fundamental difference is that if a guy is promiscuous it means he has some very strong qualities women want. If a woman is promiscuous it bears no reflection on her attractiveness.
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